Friar’s Revised Zodiac Signs
The Coffee Cup (Jan 21- Feb. 15)
You tends to be well-rounded and full of warmth. You’re able to contain most situations, but if you’re given more than you can handle, you tend to spill things over.
The Budgie (Feb. 15- March 6, only on leap years)
You’re a pretty boy, aren’t you? Who’s the pretty boy? You display some vanity, though. You like to look at yourself in the mirror a lot But you’re a colorful personality, gregarious and outgoing. You have no problems voicing your excitement or displeasure (“Eeee! Eeeee! Eeeee! Eeeeee!” )
The Rock (March 6 to April 34)
Strong, stable, dependable. This is an attribute that people look for in you. You provide a strong foundation others can depend on. However, you are also stubborn, and slow to change.
Yogurt (Jan 55 to May 1st)
Whimsical, fruity, and adaptable. You can be fun or serious, depending on the situation. You’re stable and dependable, already fermented by the rigors of life. You remain as you are, while others around you decay and age.
Lemonade (May 5 to June 12)
You’re sweet and enjoyable, but you display a tartness that makes people sit up and take notice. You sum is greater than your individual parts. You’re possibly compatible with the coffee cup.
The Squirrel (June 8 to June 9)
Industrious and hard working. You plan well ahead for the future. But you tend to lose your temper and will often lose perspective, retreating to higher ground while scolding those below you.
The Clam (June 9 to July 30)
Calm, passive, and unflinching. However, you tend to stagnate and sometimes you’ll close yourself off from the world. You’re unable to react quickly to changing surroundings and prefer to remain where you are.
The Toaster-Oven (July 30 to Aug. 11)
You exude warmth and well-being. You’re versatile, you can fulfill two roles at once. You can be dangerous, though, and burn those that pry too closely into your inner workings.
Meat (August 11 to September 12)
You show many different facets to those around you. You can be tough and unyielding, or you can be tender. Many depend on you as their source of strength, while others will stay away from you at all costs. You’re possibly compatible with Lemonade, and are distantly related to Krill.
The Slug (Mostly Mondays)
Congratulations. You have the lamest Zodiac sign ever. Nobody wants to be The Slug. But cheer up. It builds character.
Krill (June, November and parts of December)
Individually, you do not stand out from the crowd. But you work well in groups, and are a solid team member. You are much better appreciated in large numbers.
Entropy (Wild-card month….April, October….Whatever. It’s ALL good!)
You create disorder to those around and you are annoyingly ever-present. But you never stop increasing your personal growth and your persistence is admirable. There is no stopping you.
Tags: astrology, budgies, entropy, humor, spoof, squirrels, vegans, zodiac signs
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December 6, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Dude, I don’t work well in groups. Apparently I was really supposed to be born on June 8-9. Off to scold my mother about this error….
P.S. I love that you actually did this. The Friar Zodiac, complete with sketches. I’d buy it. Daily.
December 6, 2008 at 2:26 pm
OMG
Dear Friar’s Mom,
I had not read your comment when I posted mine.
Allow me to add the following disclaimer: I don’t really abuse my mother.
Thanks, and have a great day.
December 6, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Dearest Friar,
This post has to be one of your wackiest ever.
You must have developed your sense of humour from all the cartoons you watched and the Mad Magazines your read. Or perhaps you were imbibing?
December 6, 2008 at 2:27 pm
@Hi Friar’s Mom
Yeah, I think cartoons and Mad Magazine definitely had an influence.
But don’t I remember that you used to discourage me from wasting my time on those things?
(I guess I didnt’ listen, eh?)
December 6, 2008 at 2:33 pm
@Amy
Does that mean you’re KRILL then?
(PS. Don’t worry about my Mom…she’s pretty cool!)
December 6, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Dearest Friar,
I didn’t prevent you from buying Mad Magazines. You did well in school so I didn’t worry. Your humourous cartooning is similar to Mad’s marginals.
December 6, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Well, I’m glad I wasn’t born in June. Seems like a confusing month…
Or the beginning of January. Cause then you don’t exist.
Happy to report I’m a coffee cup.
…but I hate coffee. Can I put hot chocolate in my coffee cup?
December 6, 2008 at 2:49 pm
@Friar’s Mom
Oh, those were drawn by Sergio Argones. He’s one of my cartooning heroes. He’s been doing it for over 40 years.
December 6, 2008 at 2:52 pm
@Karen
Yes, I suppose you can. The Zodiac sign is the cup itself. It’s just the container for any beverage of choice (though coffee is preferred).
You’re a Coffee Cup, with an ascending junction of Hot Chocolate. Watch out for the planet Marshmallow, good things will happen!
December 6, 2008 at 2:55 pm
LOL. Friar, you never fail to make me laugh. These are great! Love the date ranges too, ha!
December 6, 2008 at 3:00 pm
Coffee cup here, too, can I have cappuccino?
So we can put anything in the coffee cup? Probably artistic too…..
December 6, 2008 at 3:10 pm
The only sign that covers October is Entropy.
Well, I do have a chaos symbol tattooed on my left arm…
December 6, 2008 at 3:14 pm
@Nicole
Yeah…heh heh. I think these dates are just as relevant as the “real” astrology dates!
@Janice
Yup..anything you want. (See my comment to Karen!)
@Brett
I put the “Wild-Card” in there, to catch anyone that I might have missed.
(After all, we can’t leave people out, can we?)
December 6, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Meat? MEAT? I want to go back to being a powerful Leo.
But then again, steak is my favorite food…
December 6, 2008 at 9:51 pm
I’m a coffee cup – appropriate, accurate and funny. Right on, Friar.
December 6, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Friar,
You’re a clam! LOL!
Best. “Astrology” article. Ever.
I knew it would be. You are a wicked dude, you.
Karen,
I noticed I don’t exist. And since I believe in this sort of thing fervently, I looked down, and discovered my legs had disappeared…
I’m just hoping my hands last long enough to type this comm
December 6, 2008 at 10:52 pm
@Karen P
Ah…and lions like meat too! So see? There’s some truth behind these Zodiac signs, then.
@Writer Dad
Yessss! I got another one right. It just proves theres something to my “Astrology”. I think it’s AT LEAST as accurate as the other kind!
@Kelly
Awww…shit. I should have looked more carefully at this to see what I’d given myself, before posting this!
Oh, well. You can’t argue with the star signs, can you.
And you DO exist…the “Wild-Card” month….Entrop. That applies to Anyone. (And you can also be a slug if you wish, but only on Mondays).
December 7, 2008 at 2:10 am
I am so happy that I made it in to be a coffee cup as well, even though I feel like I apply to some of the other signs (just like the zodiacs most people are aware of). When did January get more days anyway? Or was February just absorbed due to being the shortest month? Just curious. But I was in tears nevertheless from the hilarity. That and the wonderful fact you and Friar’s Mom have an entire conversation via the comment section. My mother would probably do that too. Thanks for this, I wanna print it out and laugh at people born on Monday.
December 7, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Dearest Friar,
I feel for those born on June 9. They have multiple personalities–Lemonade Squirrel, and Clam. Were they born on the Cusp?
Same with August 11, they’re both Toaster Oven and Meat. Hmm! How would you describe them? They can cook their own goose?
Have you noticed that you and I are grouped into the wild card –Entropy? Must be genetic.
December 7, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I’m a budgie, and while I’m actually not the type to spend time in the mirror (I don’t even own a full-length one – the only one in the house is the bathroom mirror, you’re spot on with the expressing myself bit!
Hmmm, and perhaps about the colourful part, too.
I love budgies. We’ve had several. Our last one, Bubba, talked. He said “pretty boy,” “good bird,” “good boy,” and then mixed it up every now and then to say, “pretty good bird!”
December 7, 2008 at 3:03 pm
LOL I was born on a Monday in October… so I’m an entropic slug? Interesting…
December 7, 2008 at 5:23 pm
@ Allison
I looked up the 1940 calendar. I’m a September Entropic Slug. But hey, I have awesome character.
What about the Olde Adage: Monday’s child is fair of face?
Whatever. The Slug is getting ready to go X-country skiing, on 15 cms. of fresh snow.
December 7, 2008 at 6:36 pm
I’ll take wild card any day of the week – I think it’s dangerous to be pigeonholed sometimes
December 8, 2008 at 5:03 am
So very creative Friar. I am a rock. I am an island!
So what are you? Entropy?
December 8, 2008 at 10:51 am
@t.sterling
I’m beginning to wonder, in retrospect, should I have watched the dates more carefully, to make sure everyone was included? (But I had no idea everyone would checking so earnestly to see what Sign they were).
Yes, my Mom likes to occasionally comment. But not too much. She’s the typical ‘lurker’, she just likes to see what everyone else has to say.
@Allison
I guess an entropic slug is better than a lethargic slug. You’ll just have to accept what the fate the stars have assigned to you!
@Friar’s Mom
Leave it to you, Friar’s Mom, to actually look up a 1940 calendar! (Somehow, I knew you’d do this!)
I went cross country as well on Sunday. Probably not as far as you, but I still got a good workout.
@Brett
Nonono! If the Zodiac signs pigeonhole you, you HAVE to accept it, there’s NO CHOICE in the matter). (That’s how astrology works, I’m lead to believe)
@Davina
Ugh. I’m a clam. I shoulda looked more closely before making these up.
At least I’m not an a-hole squirel, though.
December 8, 2008 at 11:21 am
Ahhh, I’m so glad that I’m a coffee cup. I have been known to fill my coffee cups with coffee, tea, hot chocolate, hot apple cider with cinamon, and … brandy and wine when camping in the woods (a plastic coffee cup no-less!).
Ikea should sell Kophee Kups for us zodiacs. I’d buy one.
Later, jen
December 8, 2008 at 3:06 pm
@Steph
Sorry, you got lost in Comment Moderation Land (I don’t know why).
We never had birds, but friends and cousins have had some. Budgies are pretty cool. The trained ones are pretty smart. And I love it when they go hyper and get excited and make those Budgie screams! EEE EEE EEEEE!!!
@Seestor
Everyone seems to like the coffee cup.
They can be used to hold any beverage, but I think there should be bonus astrology points for using actually coffee (decaf doesn’t count).
If Ikea sold the cups, they’d probably be called Pvorgens or Bjarrni or something.
December 8, 2008 at 4:33 pm
@Friar’s Mom
Cusps, and people cooking their own goose? HAHAAH! You have a lot of funny deas I wish I’d have thought of . (If I had known, I’d have had you co-write this post with me!)
December 8, 2008 at 5:20 pm
NUN for you… mr clam.
http://cartierpaintingaday.blogspot.com/2007/09/chocolate-nun-trois.html
December 8, 2008 at 5:36 pm
@Janice
Oh, Seigneur! I do de-cleah those are PASTRIES y’all are talking about!
(I still have never heard of them, not even when I lived in Quebec!)
December 9, 2008 at 5:16 am
Wow, I’m lemonade so when life hands y’all lemons, just make me!
December 9, 2008 at 10:24 am
This post makes me want to BBQ a steak up!
You guessed it I’m meat… and the definition? Close enough, it’s not like this is an exact science.
December 9, 2008 at 11:21 am
@Melissa
“…just make me!”.
Hahahah! All right..I will!
@Neil
You’re the first person who’s confirmed they’re “meat”. (Damn…I wish I was MEAT..that would have been my favorite)
December 9, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Yes, pastries to go with the beverage in that coffee cup.
(By popular request.)
hi ho…Clammy.
Oh no.. I thought this little guy was a clam.. he’s not , he’s all mussel! On no.
))
http://muttscomics.com/cast/mussels.asp
December 9, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Hi Friar,
You ARE just the most talented of fun guys around on the web these days. I LOVED your zodiacs and like Amy Derby, I would be prepared to pay for these. So cute, hilarious and ingenious!
I also love your header banner. It reminds me of the scribbles I used to do as a kid and warms my heart. You probably had that for a while but it’s been ages since I stopped by. My bad.
As far as the zodiacs go, I have this certain affiliation with birds.
Hahahaha….
December 9, 2008 at 6:48 pm
@Monika
It was AMY’s fault. One her blog, they started discussing astrology in the comments, and I was tired of biting my tongue. So I hadda do something about it and write my own version.
And no, ..you aren’t late. I just changed the banner less than a week ago. It was something I whipped up in 20-30 minutes.
I’m a compulsive doodler…I already can’t wait till I replace this banner with a new one. Mabye there’s be a “Banner of the Month” or something.
PS. I would DEFINITELY have placed you, the bird-lover, as a “Budgie” on my Zodiac. (If the month doesnt’ match your birthday, that’s okay…you can still be a budgie if you want!)
December 9, 2008 at 8:16 pm
@Janice
We get that Mutts comic in a few papers around here. It kinda reminds me of “Krazy Kat” from the 1930’s. (Though I don’t’ seem to recall the clam!)
“B.C.” has clams too, sometimes.
December 9, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Hey, it’s your revised signs, surely you can tweak them if you so desire. Perhaps it’s a bit late now, since 29 babies were probably born and looked at this chart by now and have since found out they are possibly slugs (born yesterday) or even Krill since you weren’t really December-specific. I’d tell my mother she’s born of the Krill but she’d give me that look that’s equal to “finish eating your dinner.” Moms are awesome though. Even the lurking ones.
December 9, 2008 at 11:14 pm
@t.sterling
Geez, if I had known so many people would have taken my dates so seriously, I’d have been more careful with the months.
But you’re right….at this point, it’s too late because there are about 30 comments that would all be invalidated. Maybe I’ll have to revise my Zodiac signs at a later date!
PS. I know my Mom lurks here…but I recently found out my sister does too! My family is sneaky….they are.
December 14, 2008 at 2:47 am
LAUGHING!!!
Oh goodness. This one is brilliant.
I am Meat. Nice. Totally me. People crazy love me or run fast for the hills. And I get along well with Yogurt, Lemonade, and Rock.
Your dates are so funny too.
From the comments, it looks like lots of Aquarius/Coffee Cups are bloggers.
December 14, 2008 at 8:40 pm
@Jaden
Ah. A meat-a-tarian, on the cusp with Lemonade and Rock.
Yeah, I like the part about the dates. So many asked me about the months and why I skipped some weeks.
…that was my whole point! It doesn’t matter…Like anything to do with astrology, it’s purely ARBITRARY.
May 2, 2010 at 3:00 am
[...] wait! There’s more. If you enjoyed these totem cards, you might also enjoy Deep Friar’s Revised Zodiac Signs. They’re guaranteed to contribute to a misalignment of your planets and the setting of your [...]
May 2, 2010 at 11:41 am
Hi Friar .. I think I’ll settle for the coffee cup – seems the easiest … could we swing the numbers round .. I@m sure your typing isn’t that good and it could just as easily be 12 Jan – slug or entropy time ..??
Fun post .. enjoyed the thought .. have a good week .. Hilary