Gone Fishin’.

Hey, kids.  I’m takin’ a time-out. Up North. To try and find more of these guys… See ya in a few weeks. PS.  No lame-ass dead fish were involved in the creation of this blog post.  The pickerel you see here was released. (OKAY?…Karen and Eyeteaguy ?)

The World as we’d know it, if the PC-Granola-Crunchers had their way.

Halloween is canceled for being insensitive and misogynistic. (After all, weren’t women burned at the stake as witches in the 1600′s?).  Therefore, it’s  not appropriate to have little girls dress up in costumes and trivialize this travesty of history.   Plus the monster costumes and ghosts invoke images of violence and fear. Instead, we’ll have a [...]

You can lead a Duck-Toller to water, but you cant’ make ‘em eat.

A few months ago, I wrote how skinny Tipper was, after she had run away for 24 days.    She had lost 10 lbs (30% of her body weight) and was a scrawny 22 lbs.   But not to worry, within 2 weeks, she had fattened up and regained all her weight, and was back to [...]

How Companies will Assist you in Blowing Your Own Job Interview

Your footwear is wrong Seriously.  For one of my interviews, the Head-hunter warned me to make sure my shoes were nice and polished.  Because the manager was “Old School” and he placed a lot of value on a man’s shoes. So…never mind my qualifications, experience, or personality.   If my shoes are scuffed,  Mr. Chunder-Head will [...]

Friar’s Tips on How to Attract the Opposite Sex

Due to my overwhelming response last week on my tips on how ladies can NOT attract men, I’ve decided to write a follow-up post.   Namely, on how ladies can attract men.   And vice-versa. For those of you who know my blog,  I think you’ll be able to figure out just how seriously to take this [...]

Other Wishes I’d ask a Genie to Grant Me.

If a genie were to grant us three wishes, what would most of us ask for?    Typically, we’d go for the high-priority stuff:  50 bazillion dollars.   Health.  Happiness.  World Peace…etc.  But what if the Genie granted us more wishes? (Say, FIFTY?).    Then we could afford to be a bit more cavalier with our choices.   Here’s what extra stuff  I’d ask [...]

How to Infuriate Tree-Huggers

Dare to disagree with them. Refer to whales as “just dumb fish”. Buy them a gas-powered  leaf-blower in December, and say “Merry Christmas” while you do it. (Not “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings”.) Hide their mortar and pestle, so they can’t crunch their granola. Ask them to explain why is was much warmer 1000 years [...]

What’s the POINT…

…of Lo-fat chocolate milk? ..of staying “just friends” with someone you like, who just broke up with you? …of salads at McDonald’s? …of those ultra-safe, cheesy 3-foot plastic slides at playgrounds? …of crushed cedar chips in those same playgrounds, for that matter? …of going to a wedding, and having to sit at the “Loser’s Table” [...]

Brain Damage

Shh..listen.  Hear that? (Aieeeee.) That’s the sound of one of my brain cells dying. It’s been happening a lot lately. I blame work. Like the other week, when I had to submit an SHT and F-ME form. Never mind that both forms are almost identical, and could have easily been combined into one. No.  We’re [...]

Friar’s Tips for Ladies on how NOT to Attract Men.

Disclaimer: I’m just an average guy, and these are my average opinions.   I do NOT claim to be an expert on women.   Nor do I claim to be an expert on how opposite sexes attract each other. But I do know what turns me on and turns me off.    And here’s what turns me off. [...]