What’s the POINT…
…of Lo-fat chocolate milk?
..of staying “just friends” with someone you like, who just broke up with you?
…of salads at McDonald’s?
…of those ultra-safe, cheesy 3-foot plastic slides at playgrounds?
…of crushed cedar chips in those same playgrounds, for that matter?
…of going to a wedding, and having to sit at the “Loser’s Table” ?
…of the DJ in stripper clubs? (“Let’s put our hands together and make some noise for BRANDI…!!!”)
…of trying to reduce your carbon footprint by getting a more fuel-efficient car? (Smooth move…with your trade-in, now there will be TWO cars on the road, instead of one.)
…of driving less than the speed limit? (You’re allowed to go faster, you know!)
…of that lame-ass slice of orange that comes with your three-egg, three-meat Cardiac Breakfast Special?
…of putting one of those noise mufflers on a souped-up Honda Civic? (*snicker*)
…of a tachometer on a car with automatic transmission?
…of half the Von-Trapp kids in The Sound of Music? (How many do you actually remember? Be honest! )
…of mustaches on old ladies? (Have you totally given up, at this point, that you can’t be bothered to pluck those hairs off?)
…of carrot cake? (Sorry, including veggies with dessert is SO WRONG…on so many levels!)
…of Whole-Wheat Wonder Bread?
…of pennies? (Melt them all down, I say, and make a copper monument dedicated to 1960′s era gumball machines).
…of spammers telling you how you can earn $100K in a month…then later tell you how you can earn $75K? (I mean…WHY would I pick the first one, then?)
…of kids’ TV shows with morals? (Real kids want exploding cats, and anvils falling on coyotes).
…of “Baby on Board” decals? (That is so 1980′s…wouldn’t those kids be, like, 25 right now?)
…of selected parking spots for seniors? (It should be based on physical ability, not on age. Some 70-year-olds are in better shape than I am, for cryin’ out loud!)
…of acronyms at work, particularly ones that are 10 letters long)? (C’mon… who’s gonna remember THAT?)
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