Fall Splendor

7 clouds in a row. Unbelievable. It’s like hitting the jackpot at a slot machine, or something. . I love autumn. REALLY, I do.

Blogo-Land Blow-Out Sale! Buy Now!

1.  Virtual Chairs Left over from those “limited seating” Webinars, where nobody showed up. Price: $2.00 Each.  (Or $10.00 per thousand) 2.  Astrological Meat-Shelter™ Basically, a big sack o’ meat.  Mimics a mother’s womb.  Protects against bad star signs. Great place to hide out during unfavorable horoscopes, till things settle down. (Caution:   Meat-Shelter™ is only [...]

Dogs I have Corrupted in My Time

I don’t’ claim to be a Dog Whisperer, but I do have a talent with dogs.   They seem to like me. I’m not their Pack Leader.   I’m their play-mate. I don’t give them “Exercise, discipline and affection”. I give them affection.  Play-time.   And more affection. I don’t keep them in a calm, submissive state. [...]

(…………)

I just don’t have anything I feel like saying right now… …it happens.

Proof that Hippies are Alive and and Well on Twitter

These are actual self-proclaimed bio-descriptions from some of my Twitter followers. Seriously. (I couldn’t make these up if I tried, folks!) ****************************** – Shooter of photos, not people (Well, GOOD for you!) – Clairvoyant Healer (So, theoretically you should already be able to make me better, without me even asking.) – Lover of People (I [...]

A Single Person’s Open Letter of Apology to Parents

Dear Parents  (Moms, Dads, Mommy-Bloggers, Helicopter parents, Breeding-Couples everywhere); On behalf of single people everywhere, I apologize. I’m sorry for only putting in 80% of the effort into  maintaining our friendship.   It should be 100%,  the onus should lie squarely on me.   I should realize you’re Moms and Dads now, and that you are no [...]

Your Job Prospects After They Drop the Big One

Job: Wine Taster Status: No longer required. Reason: Once the fall-out dissipates, alcohol (ANY alcohol) will be highly-prized, and guzzled with great enthusiasm.   We won’t need pseudo-intellectual bozos telling us about “bouquet” and “earthiness” Alternative New Career: Commune grape-stomper. ********************** Job: Electrical Engineer Status: No longer required. Reason: Pretty much useless, as we wont’ have [...]

Idiot Rodents

Most wild animals have a healthy respect for humans. They know we’re predators, so they usually try to stay away from us. Not beavers. We think they’re so smart and industrious. But REALLY…how bright can they be? You see, given a whole huge empty MARSH to live in… …they’ll go out of their way to [...]

Eight Anti-Zen Tips to Help Complicate your Life

1. Remember to Breathe… …hard!   And grunt when you do so. Think about that a-hole who took your parking spot.  Or your boss yelling you at work.   Gettin’ mad?    Do you feel your breathing getting  shallow and fast? Good!  Now, start becoming aware of your body.  Listen to the tight breaths whistle between [...]

The Office Count-Down

Remember when you were five and you misbehaved?  And your parents would count to three? “One!….Two!…..THR…” But of course, they’d never get to three. Because in those few seconds between “Two!” and “THR..”,  that’s the point at which you’d cave and start acting right again. Because you’d be too terrified of what would happen if [...]