Viking Training: Wii are the Warriors

One bright winter day in the village SmelBaäd, there was a knock on Clöst Aerfrök’s door.

“Why, it’s the Traveling Kilted One!”, he cheerfully exclaimed.   “To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?”

.

“I come bringing a gift:  a new way to train your warriors to fight.”, said the Kilted One.  “It’s called “Wii.”

“We?”, asked Clöst.

“Wii.”, replied the Kilted One.

“Wee?”

“No…Wii.”

“Whee?”

“No! No! ….Wii!   Wait an minute and you’ll Sii…er, I mean see.”

“Behold!  Imaginary enemies, on the magic viewing screen!   You can fight them over and over, and keep honing your battle skills.”

Before anyone could say anything, the Berserker rushed forward and cried “Enemies!!!  NYARRRRGH!!!!”, and smashed the screen with his mace.

“I win!!!”,  he  exclaimed, as he gleefully continued to pound the pieces into the ground.

“You…you FOOLS!!!”,  screamed the Kilted One.   “Those enemies weren’t REAL!  It was a simulation!   You were supposed to have fought them with imaginary swords, using these special Wii controls!”


“Sword fight, eh?”, asked Lars.   “Well, why didn’t you say so.  That we DO understand!”      Then he and Hagörf grabbed the controllers, and proceeded to duel with them.

“Though I don’t see the point of this…there is no cutting edge, and these strange devices break when we smash them together!”

Meanwhile, the Kilted One stood there, at a loss for words.

“Hey!”, cried the Berserker.    “There are more of these Wee things in the bag.”

“And look…instead of using them as swords, it’s just as much fun to smash them on your head!”

Hyargen!  Hyargen! Hyargen!“, laughed Lars and Hagörf.

“Give us some!  Let us ALL smash them on our heads!”.

Which they proceeded to do, until there was nothing left intact in the Kilted One’s bag.

“O Kilted One,  that was a strange game, but FUN!”, said the Berserker.   “What will you bring us next visit?”

“Groan.”,  replied the Kilted One.

“Come”, Clöst said sympathetically.  “I think you need a draft of ale.  Or three.   Believe me, that’s the only thing that helps in these situations.”

“It was a worthy idea.   But perhaps this new technology is a bit too delicate and too sophisticated for the average Viking.”

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42 Comments on “Viking Training: Wii are the Warriors”

  1. Karen Swim Says:

    ROFL! Friar, this is hilarious and the Vikings reveal a good question – why do people simulate running, golfing, tennis instead of actually playing them? We have become a very funny culture.

  2. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I just peed myself.

  3. Brett Legree Says:

    You know, had I known of the ancient happenings in the village of SmelBaäd, I would not have brought my Viklings a Wii.

    They destroyed it last year…

    Signed,

    The (modern-day) Kilted One

    (PS – it was replaced by a PS3, so I can simulate driving really fast cars in dangerous locations…)

  4. Friar Says:

    @Karen

    I guess there’s more status in using “Social Media” to play those virtual games. As opposed to being a fuddy-duddy, and going outside in the fresh air to play the old “analog” versions. ;-)

    @Eyeteaguy

    Clean-up, in Aisle #3!

  5. bubbabrother Says:

    damn that is funny.

    its nice to see somebody making something funny without having to swear or get low and dirty. anybody can do that. what you got here is a genuine funnyman.

    bubba

  6. Brett Legree Says:

    bubbabrother is right, you know…

    How much of “modern humour” involves laughing at the misfortune of others?

  7. Friar Says:

    @Brett
    Though last time I checked, they’re still using your abacus.

    @bubbabrother

    Thanks! (Though I still get scolded by my Mom…for using the occasional “Potty Mouth”)

    She lurks here, you know.

    @Brett

    “…laughing at the misfortune of others…”

    Case in point: American Idol.

    (Which I’m guilty of watching)

  8. Brett Legree Says:

    I bet all of the people who normally comment are off trying Seesmic Look.

    Aren’t you, you fickle Twitterfolk!

  9. XUP Says:

    Could you send your Vikings over to have a look at the evil stuff on my work monitor, please?

  10. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    I dunno…I give up.

    Nobody seems to want to read original stories with original artwork anymore.

    Maybe I should just write about “How to simplify your life in 29 steps”, or “27 Tips on achieving your goals for 2010″.

    That’s what apparently sells, nowadays.

    @XUP
    I’ll give the Berserker a call. I think he charges 25 silver Kröners a day. Plus all the ale he can drink.

  11. bellavan Says:

    I love it, as I do all your cartoons.

    Is that the right word, cartoons?

  12. Friar Says:

    @bellavan (Steph)

    Comics, cartoons…it’s all good to me.

    We can ask KarenJL (the expert).

  13. Karen JL Says:

    I think this is more of an illustrated story. But I do consider comics as ‘not moving’ and cartoons as ‘moving’. :)

    And just because I haven’t commented, doesn’t mean I haven’t read it.

    Well, NOW I commented…OK gotta go…

  14. Karen JL Says:

    @ Brett – WTH is Seesmic Look? Not that I really care…

  15. Friar Says:

    @Karen

    True, my Vikings don’t move, so they’re more like comics, rather than cartoons. Thanks for clearing that up! :-)

    PS. I also have no idea what Seemsic Look is. Must be a computer-geek thing.

  16. Friar's Mom Says:

    @Karen,

    I too didn’t know about Seesmic Look. Curious person that I am I googled it.

    It’s a new Web application, which was just launched on January 21. I don’t Twitter, so have no idea why Twitters are so excited.

  17. Friar Says:

    Friar’s Mom;

    I have no idea why Twitter-ers get so excited either,

    But for some reason, they DO….

  18. Brett Legree Says:

    Seesmic Look is the greatest thing since sliced bread, according to the Twitterati.

    Since I don’t eat a lot of bread, I don’t get it.

    Plus, as pretty as it is, Seesmic Look is too slow for my needs and lacks the features I can get elsewhere.

    Apparently Seesmic Look is supposed to get people like Friar’s Mom interested in Twitter.

    Apparently it’s not working ;)

  19. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    Friar’s Mom….on Twitter?

    (*snicker*)

    As…IFFFF!! :-D

    (No, she actually has a life. She’s got better things to do.)

  20. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I’m watching my RAID rebuild.

    Its at 21%.

    (please shoot me)

    Eyeteaguy

    (please?)

  21. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Vikings know how to do raids.

    Can they offer some assistance?

  22. Friar's Mom Says:

    @Eyesmartypantsguy,

    I googled RAID and this is what I came up with “A Redundant Array of Inexpensive Disks”.

    I have no idea what RAID is all about. Why would you want to watch your redundant disks rebuild? Isn’t that boring? Would it be like watching your fingernails grow so that you can trim them?

    I take pride in learning something new each day but RAID is way over my head. However, I learned a new acronym.

  23. Friar Says:

    @Friar’s Mom

    Plus you also learned about Seesmic.

    BTW, if you joined Facebook, you could play Scrabble on-line with me and Amy. (Remember how you liked Scrabulous?)

    Well, Scrabulous doesn’t exist anymore. Facebook has the official Scrabble game now.

  24. Brett Legree Says:

    I guess it wasn’t redundant enough.

    (*rimshot*)

    I believe you can play PyScrabble with other folks (it is network aware) and it is free, open source software.

    No need to join Facebook.

    http://pyscrabble.sourceforge.net/

  25. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Wee Friar,

    No! No! No! Definitely No! I will not get addicted to Facebook Scrabble. However, I promise to play real Scrabble with you when you come out here to ski.

    You know me and my sporadic addictions to computer games. I have been know to play until the wee hours of the morning.

    I quit Scrabulous cold turkey about a year ago. (Very unfair of robot. He knew two-letter words I never hear of). This summer I was addicted to Luminosity for two months.

    You gotta laugh at this coincidence. Tonight, I’m invited to a friend’s place for dinner and game of Scrabble.

  26. Brett Legree Says:

    A-ha! Friar’s Mom has *another* weakness – computer games.

    Well, then, don’t check out “World Of Goo”, or “Braid”…

  27. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    Is that real Scrabble? (I found another one…it was sort of a Scrabble clone…close, but not quite the real thing)

    Anyway, it’s AMY’s fault. She bugged me enough…I joined Facebook just so I could play with her

    @Friar’s Mom

    Yes…but playing Scrabble with other people via the computer isn’t that much different from playing with them in the same room. It’s an established game you can play in real life. Not like chasing colored balls down a track.

    @Brett
    It all started in 1992. Friar’s Mom was addicted to “Block Out” (kinda like a 3D Tetris).

    Despite her addiction, she still manages to maintain a productive life, though.

  28. Amy Says:

    My name is Amy, and I’m a Facebook Scrabble addict…

  29. Amy Says:

    Speaking of Wii, I had never heard of it until I got on Twitter. A bunch of Twits were talking about Wii Fit (is that what it’s called?), so I Googled it. I still don’t understand it. I’ve never seen one in “real life” — here, we still send the kids out to play in the street.

  30. Friar Says:

    (*everyone in the room, together*)

    “Hi….AMY!”

  31. Friar Says:

    @Amy

    It’s basically a videogame, with a cordless joystick.

    I played it for the first time with Friar’s Mom in the hospital this summer. Once a week, they’d bring it in to the patients to play with.

    Who knows? Maybe it’s supposed to be good rehab for head-injuries.

  32. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Amy,

    I enjoyed playing Wii Tennis with Wee Friar and Seestor in Rehab. I played both tennis and bowling from a wheelchair. I preferred tennis.

    @ Wee Friar,

    Just got home. I taught my friend to play Speed Scrabble.

  33. Brett Legree Says:

    PyScrabble will play exactly the same way as the real thing.

    The difference, of course, is that you aren’t putting money in Hasbro’s pocket, and you’re not giving Facebook your data.

    Somehow, I don’t think they need the money… or your data…

  34. Davina Says:

    Hah, hah Eyeteaguy went Wii Wii in his panties. :-) Assuming that he wears panties.

    Gotta admit Friar, this was pretty funny; Berserker smashing the screen, pppft. When’s your Viking comic book being released? Comic book, *not* ebook right? ;-)

  35. Friar Says:

    @Friar’s Mom

    Speed Scrabble is Go! Go! Go! Rush! Rush! Rush! and nobody really gets to interact, they’re too busy playing their own game. And there’s not really any ending…just when poeple decide to quit.

    I prefer real Scrabble. A game takes a while to play…you can drink beer,and have conversations with people while the other player takes their turn. It’s a lot more relaxing, and less competitive, I find.

    @Brett
    I gave Facebook my email address (which is mandatory). But that’s about it.

    I didn’t fill in my whole life story, where I live, what I like, and I didn’t show photos of my cat or me painting my kitchen.

    Still, it’s yet one more place Big Brother is watching you.

    @Davina
    Hah! You’re taking a shot at Eyeteaguy. I LOVE it! ;-)

    PS. I’m actually considering putting all these stories together into one book, when I get enough of them.

  36. Amy Says:

    Hmm.. I didn’t know they also made Wii Sports! As I have no coordination for real sports whatsoever, perhaps I should take up Wii sporting?

    Brett, what kind of data does Facebook get out of my playing Scrabble? Or do you just mean being on Facebook in general?

  37. Friar Says:

    @Amy

    Apparently there are fitness games on Wii…runing on the spot, and such. That you follow in your living room. That are supposed to give you a great workout.

    (If you’re into that type of thing). Personally, I prefer to go out into the fresh air and excercise.

    Good question to Brett, though. What data DOES Facebook get out of us?

  38. Eyeteaguy Says:

    @ Friar’s Maw…

    Actually RAID stands for Redundant Array of INDPENDANT Disks. Back in the day when hard drives were small and expensive they created RAID so you could have a bunch of small disks and make the OS (Operating System) think that it was one big one.

    Then they realized they could use this for safety and reliability. So they created different RAID levels, 0,1,5,10 etc. Now if you have a server with lots of important data on it you make a RAID with a standby drive so that if one drive fails no data is lost then the standby drive is brought in to replace it.

    Other RAIDs increase performance by using more disks to write the same data.

    But in my situation, I had a RAID 0 (mirroring) so that one dive is an exact copy as the other so if one fails the other carries on. I had a drive fail and my silly standby did not jump in because for some reason it reported to the OS that it was slightly smaller that the disk it was replacing and with most RAIDS the drives need to be identical. So I replaced both drives and was watching it rebuild. If the other drive had failed it would have meant a long night ahead. And I have had 2 drives in the same server fail before. Especially if they were from the same manufacture batch.

    But all was well, it rebuilt and my hot spare is working (I tested it)

    And as for me wearing panties? I don’t wear panties, I wear a leopard print thong.

    EyeRAIDguy

  39. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Eyeeruditeguy,

    I gleaned the following information from Wikipedia “RAID is an acronym first defined by David A. Patterson, Garth A. Gibson, and Randy Katz at the University of California, Berkeley in 1987 to describe a redundant array of inexpensive disks”.

    Most teachers require their students to check reliable sources. I am guilty of believing all that I read in Wikipedia.

    I suggest that you e-mail Wikipedia and challenge their definition.

    You are definitely an knowledgeable IT Guy. I’m impressed with your explanation to a lay person.

    As for me, I have an external Maxtor drive, and if I remember, I back up my important information on to it.

    @ Wee Friar,

    What’s with your Blog comments? They wander in all directions, like marauding Vikings. Does that put us on topic?

  40. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Leopard print thong

    (*shudder*)

    Trying to shake the image from my head.

    @Friar’s Mom
    Whaddya mean, what’s up with the blog comments?

    Since when do they ever follow a set path? Today is just par for the course, like any other day.

  41. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Here’s a picture from a few years ago.

    http://www.abcunderwear.com/leopprinthon.html

    I have a moustache now.

    Eyethongguy

  42. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Good Lord.


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