Lighthouse from Hell

I took this photo of the lighthouse at Killarney, Ontario, two summers ago.  And I’ve just gotten around to painting it. Not an easy subject, I found.    First of all, the sky is tricky.   It’s quite granulated. In watercolors, though, you can’t paint each and every cloud fluff, or it will look like crap. And [...]

Exploring Ontario’s Forsaken Area

There’s an area in Eastern Ontario I like to call “The Forsaken Area”. It lies south of the Ottawa Valley, and just East of Algonquin Park, and is also known as the Madawaska Highlands. It’s where the grid-square pattern of farmland stops and suddenly gives way to the rolling hills and lakes of Canadian shield. [...]

Happy Earth Hour

If Ski Resorts Were Run Like Your Typical Workplace

The ticket office would be located at the top of the hill, 500 vertical feet above the parking lot. Nobody would be allowed on the ski lifts until they attended a “Pre-Ski Briefing” each morning. The number of runs down the hill would be dictated by a Ski Permit, to be signed and authorized by [...]

Klistered Out

Some people have recently asked me what Klister is. It’s a gooey.  sticky wax that you put on your skis when the temperature is above freezing. You have to put it on, otherwise your skis slide backwards and all over the place. But everyone HATES Klister. Why? Here’s what is looks like: It has the [...]

Things I’m apparently supposed to get excited about, but am NOT.

Multi-Grain Bread 17-grain wholesome goodness.  Which contains enough oat kernels, wheat stalks and sunflower shells to sand-blast your colon to a mirror-like finish. “Eat it…it’s good for you“, they tell me. It will clean me out.   Lower my cholesterol.   Make me a better human being.    Solve Global Warming. The thing is…people taste things differently.  There’s [...]

Krûll the Greater

Krûll the Greater, Pumpkin-hater. Told his wife “I’ll be back later.” Then found himself a pumpkin shell And kicked it all to living hell.

The Shittiest Cafeteria in the World.

If I wanted to run the Shittiest Cafeteria in the World,  this is how I’d go about doing it: The first thing I’d do is locate it where I’d be guaranteed a monopoly:  right in the middle of Butt-Scrape nowhere.  On Company property, where employees only had 40 minutes for lunch and the nearest restaurant [...]

Going, going….GONE.

March 9th. a March 13th a March 15th a March 16th a March 17th a March 18th a The river is on the verge of opening up too.

Berserk! Goes the Weasel!

All around the Skull-berry bush, The Viking chased the Weasel. The Viking thought ’twas fun until BERSERK!  Went the Weasel! A Kroner for a loaf of bread Some hearty grog and cheese, well… That’s the way Valhalla goes… BERSERK!  Goes the Weasel!