Viking Nursery Rhymes Part III

Continued from Part I and Part II

**************************************

I’m a scary Viking, strong and stout.
Here is my sword, it’s got a lot of clout.
When I’m off to battle, there will be no doubt.
I will slay all my foes, and their blood will flow out.

asdhit

********************************************

shit

Pussy cat!  Pussy cat!
Where have you been?
I’ve been to London to pillage the Queen.

Pussy cat!  Pussy cat!
What did you do there?
I bit the old bat, from under her chair!

shit

********************************************

shit

Eenie, Meenie, Mynie, Moe
Catch a Viking by the Toe.
But I’d stop that now if I were you.
It could be the last thing that you’ll ever do.

shit

********************************************

shit

Splat-a-cake, splat-a-cake.
Berserker Man.
Destroy me this cake, as fast as you can.

Smash it, and bash it,
As flat as it can be.

And send it on a funeral pyre
Out to sea.

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7 Comments on “Viking Nursery Rhymes Part III”

  1. Kyddryn Says:

    Friar, darlin’, you’re delightful.

    You’ve just taken the edge off a seriously craptastic night. Thanks.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

  2. Kate Says:

    Your rhymes should carry one of those Govt. Health Warnings: “Do not read Friar while indulging in chocolate Easter eggs, or you will ROFL and choke on the egg.”

  3. Seestor Says:

    If you publish this wonderful Viking nonsense, I’ll buy three books. One for my mom and one for each of my brothers.

    My only disapointment is taht there are no oddball Viking names in this series. There is pillaging and burning though, so that makes up for it.

    EyeteaGuy. I BEAT YOU! I’ve been working on Blog speed training. It’s paying off. Catch me if you can.

    Hi Brett!

    Seestor

  4. Davina Says:

    I can imagine you bent over your table with bated breath, grinning wickedly as you pillage these rhymes; like a wizard with a wand. If I didn’t know better I’d swear that’s you, the crab on the beach tormenting that Viking.

    PS. I coloured your doodle last night. Hah, hah… pppft, when I read this line back I can’t stop laughing.

  5. Friar Says:

    @Kyddryn

    Well, I’m glad I could help you salvage your craptastic evening.

    @Kate
    Avoid hot beverages too. Some readers have admitted to spewing coffee through their nose.

    @Seestor
    You probably only have to buy 2 copies. I’m sure one of your brothers would already have one of his own.

    PS. I dunno where Eyeteaguy is. Here I am..with a brand new Viking Post, and he’s nowhere to be seen. It kinda worries me.

    @Davina
    No? SERIOUSLY? You colored in my doodle?

    HAHAHAHAH! That’s AWESOME!

  6. Amy Says:

    That top one kinda looks like you.

  7. Friar Says:

    @Amy

    My beard isn’t that red. And not that long (yet).


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