What Retro TV has Taught Me

a Bus drivers were paid shit. Look at that dump Ralph Kramden lived in.    That musta been in pre-union days. a People didnt’ know how to relax back then. Dads wore their suits and ties after work, all through dinner until bed time.    Sheesh..unbutton your collar, at least. a If women played their cards right, [...]

Friar’s Prime-Time Shows for the 2010 Summer TV Line-Up

a PBS – Nova:  A history of belly-button lint – One Lump or Two?  The first of a 12-part documentary on tea-time in Victorian England.   Chapter One:  The introduction of the Crumpet. – Agatha Christie Presents:  Hercule Poirot Waxes his Mustache Discovery Channel – Disemboweled Within Minutes – Two Guys Smashing Things – The [...]

My Self-Improvement Checklist

Okay, let me go through my checklist for today: – No sugar. – No trans fats. – No bottled water. – No high-fructose corn syrup. – No white bread. – No caffeine. – No chocolate (unless it’s free-trade). – No veggies (unless they’re organic). – No red meat (wait…better make that no meat, PERIOD). – [...]

My Back Yard

If you look at a typical map of Ontario, you’ll see a lot of white areas, or blank spots. Until recently, I used to think there was nothing much there, except trees. Little did I realize how wrong I was. You see, there’s a reason nothing’s. there. It’s because Ontario’s such a damned big province, [...]

Riding the Busy Bus

Ask any 25-year-old “How’s it going?” and they’ll probably say “All right!” .    And they’ll tell you about the weekend at their friends’ cottage, or recent party, or their boy friend or girl friend. But ask anyone over 35, and you’re almost guaranteed to hear “Busy!“, invariably followed by a litany of how they just [...]

Perfessor Friar finds his True North

Polaris, known as the “north star”, or “pole star“, isn’t a particularly bright star in the sky.   In fact, in terms of brilliance,  you can consider it a “B-lister”.   But it’s one of the most important stars in our heavens, because it happens to be aligned the axis of the Earth’s rotation. This means Polaris [...]

Okay, how can anyone screw up a GARDEN RAKE?

Brand-new purchase from Canadian Tire.   After 30 seconds of use. God-damned. Made-in-China. Crap.

Continuing to Celebrate my Literary Ignorance: More Books I Haven’t Read

a Following up from an earlier post Almost everything by F. Scott FitzGerald I read The Great Gatsby in Grade 12 English, because I had to.    The teacher was so bad, he pretty much killed my desire from pursuing this author any further. a Anything by Margaret Atwood Ssshh…don’t tell the Berkenstock-Wearing Granola-Crunching CBC Inteligentsia…they’ll have my head! a [...]

The Many Uses of Bacon

Vikings Versus Ninjas

In the final match of the Pan-Asian-Nordic Warrior games, it was the Vikings versus the Ninjas. “Try to keep the kills clean”, said the referee, “…and no disemboweling below the belt.”. The Ninjas started out with their fiercest battle poses,  in the attempt to intimidate their enemy. This did little to impress the Vikings, however. [...]