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Friar's Grab Bag
This entry was posted on April 16, 2010 at 11:37 pm and is filed under Friar Toons, Friar's Grab Bag. You can subscribe via RSS 2.0 feed to this post's comments.
Tags: bacon, humor
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April 16, 2010 at 11:48 pm
The lady on the far right of the last part looks like she might be having some sort of sympathy heart-attack! Way to go Bacon! You lil’ strip of bliss!
April 16, 2010 at 11:52 pm
@Viking Thunder
Or..she might just be beside herself with shock, thinking:
“Oh my God…how can anyone EAT something that horrible? When I go to McDonalds, I have a glass of water, and one lettuce leaf, and even THAT’s too much!”
April 17, 2010 at 12:02 am
@Friar
Theres lettuce at McDonalds now?
April 17, 2010 at 12:17 am
@Viking Thunder.
There are salads at McD’s…apparently.
I’ve heard OF them, but have yet to see anyone order one.
April 17, 2010 at 1:13 am
Alas, I have seen the elusive salad at McD’s. The green creature is so totally out of its element.
I have no pity for it though. It has no place among the fries, bacon and burgers. Sorry, but people do NOT go to fast food restaurants to eat healthy.
Now, here’s a restaurant (run by an actual Nutritionist) that will warm – or kill – your heart!
The Heart Attack Grill
Anyone up for a road trip to Arizona?
April 17, 2010 at 5:07 am
I totally am up for a road trip to The Heart Attack Grill.
I don’t smoke, and I’ll smoke a pack of unfiltered cigarettes when I’m there, just to say I did.
Another use for bacon – to keep the two halves of the KFC Double Down from coming into contact.
Because the way the diet folks talk about it, you’d swear the bottom piece is matter, and the top piece is antimatter.
Never mind dilithium crystals, Mr. Scott, just throw a KFC Double Down into the warp core and will outrun the Romulans for sure!
(And if they do catch us, we’ll defeat them with Viking Thunder heh heh…)
April 17, 2010 at 5:11 am
Oh man, Brett…either I’ve been up far too late or that was really funny!
April 17, 2010 at 6:43 am
Maybe we’re both delirious, you being up late, and me being up early
I posted this yesterday elsewhere, and I think it bears repeating:
http://www.fathead-movie.com/index.php/2010/04/12/i-doubled-down-and-lived-to-tell/
The really important text from this is:
“So let’s review: a sandwich consisting of bacon, cheese and fried chicken produces a blood-sugar reading of 94 mg/dl. A bowl of Cheerios produces blood sugar of 250 mg/dl, at least for some people … but in a nation of type 2 diabetics, Cheerios are promoted as health food, while the sandwich denounced as the equivalent of a WMD.”
What would you rather have, a Double Down or a bowl of Cheerios? If the Cheerios are going to spike your blood-sugar worse than an “evil double-chicken bacon sammitch”… I think I know the answer for me.
I’m actually going to figure out what the nutritional content is in a “healthy” Double Down i.e. two grilled chicken breasts, nitrate-free bacon and real cheese, and post it somewhere.
Heart Attack Grill is awesome because everything they sell there is *real*.
April 17, 2010 at 9:32 am
@Deb
Your frequent bacon references are what helped inspire me to write this post.
You Brett think alike. He sent me that link to the Heart Attack Grill last year…I’m DEFINTELY up for a road trip there!
It’d take us what, Brett….4 days to get there?
Too bad I wasn’t 350 lbs. I’d get to eat for free!
@Brett
That was a pretty good article…showing theDouble Down is just marginally worse than the Quarter Pounder, which has been around for years. Or Grape Nuts.
I don’t understand people who scream about the Double Down. If you don’t’ like it…don’t’ BUY it. But shut up and let those who do. It’s a free country.
April 17, 2010 at 10:54 am
@Friar: hehe, I do the bacon references because a laughing Friar is often more amusing than a grumpy Friar. Sometimes.
I dunno, I had a weird reaction to the commercial for the DD when I first saw it. All I could think of was the comedian who posed the question “Since when did meat become a condiment?”
April 17, 2010 at 11:17 am
@Deb
Grumpy…who…ME?
April 17, 2010 at 12:07 pm
For your info,
The Double Down has 540 calories, 10 grams of saturated fat, 145 mg of cholesterol, 1,380 mg of sodium and 1 gram of sugar
A MacDonald Quarter Pounder with cheese has 510 calories, 12 g of saturated fat, 90 mg of cholesterol, 1,190 mg sodium, and 9 g of sugar.
April 17, 2010 at 12:45 pm
@Deb
Mmmm meat condiments. I think I will puree some bacon and put it next to the katchup and see what people say.
I dont know why people are so agast at the Double D, when Crispy Cream has a double cheeseburger between two glazed doughnuts.
Id have bacon on it for sure
April 17, 2010 at 12:51 pm
@Friar’s Mom
What do you think Friar’s Dad would say about the Double-D if he was still alive?
“I would never eat such a thing…in my WHOLE LIFE!!!”
@Viking Thunder
Here’s another favorite site..that follows the theme.
http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/
April 17, 2010 at 12:55 pm
@VT: You know what? That’s a damned good point. On the same show I saw the Heart Attack Grill, there was a doughnut shop that made maple glazed doughnuts with bacon on top. It was one of their best sellers.
Funny thing is, I looked at that and thought “Mmmm…tasty.”
And what’s the difference between a sandwich like the DD and something like Chicken Cordon Bleu? That’s the same thing, only rolled up with ham and cheese inside.
I guess it all comes down to presentation. I bet if some fancy French restaurant put the DD on a plate with a sprig of parsley and charged $50 for it, the critics would rave.
@Friar: Okay. Cookie dough cheesecake? So not fair at this time of day. I think we’re going to have to get Sushi to make one of those.
@Friar’s Mom: Hi!
April 17, 2010 at 1:04 pm
@Deb
Chicken Cordon Bleu…you’re right. It’s exactly the same damned thing. So why the big Kerfuffle over the Double D?
I think it’s an indication on how lazy society is getting…how nobody wants to accept personal responsibility anymore.
If we’re fat or out of shape, or our kids are…God forbid…it’s not anything WE did.
No. It’s gotta be someone else’s fault..right?
So let’s blame KFC!!!
As for junk food, though, even I have my limits.
For example, a deep-fried cheeseburger. Now….that will even make the hardiest Friar gag!
http://fxcuisine.com/default.asp?language=2&Display=129&resolution=high
April 17, 2010 at 1:17 pm
@Friar: So very true. Our culture has grown to the point where no one wants to take responsibility for themselves.
And the government (down here anyway) doesn’t help matters by constantly trying to protect us from ourselves. Wear a bicycle helmet! You might fall on your head! Never mind the fact that we as kids did all kinds of crazy stunts with our bikes and never once considered a helmet. Watch out for germs! Antibacterial soap? We didn’t have that either. We had Lysol. That was good enough. We got our colds and sniffles and our bodies dealt with it. Again, we’re still here.
God, I sound like you now.
And I’ll just add to the deep fried list of things I would never eat: Butter. Thank you, Texas.
April 17, 2010 at 1:47 pm
@Deb
At my Uncles cottage, when I was a kid, he gave my cousin and I a couple of slingshots, and a pack of firecrackers to play with.
I was eight at the time.
It was one of the best weekends of my childhood.
Nowadays, you’d probably go to jail for that.
April 17, 2010 at 1:59 pm
Ha! When I was a kid our neighbor across the street had this tree house. Actually, it was this rickety 20 ft. platform in some old tree fifteen feet off the ground.
You had to use an aluminum ladder to get to the top. It had one weathered rail going around the top with nothing under the rail to keep any of us from slipping through. It had ropes you could use to climb back down if you wanted.
It scared the shit out of me. I don’t like heights, but I wanted to be with my brother (younger) and the rest of the boys, so I went up. Once. First and last time.
Well, eventually the inevitable happened. One of us fell out. My brother sat down in a lawn chair that wasn’t folded out all the way and ended up with a concussion.
Did Mom sue the neighbors? Did she ban us from ever playing in the tree house again?
Hell no.
She was calm as could be as she went off in the ambulance with my brother. The neighbors put up some walls under the rail and that was that.
Can’t imagine that happening today.
April 17, 2010 at 3:17 pm
Haha! That last one is funny. “Think of the children”: Haha! I love the shock on the guy’s face.
April 17, 2010 at 3:18 pm
I mean, they’re all funny. And well done! But the last one is my fave.
April 17, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Especially since I’m a granola cruncher.
April 17, 2010 at 3:49 pm
Dear Friar, I adore you.
Did you know there’s a bacon cookbook? Yep.
Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who will stop eating bacon when it’s pried from her cold, dead hands)
April 17, 2010 at 7:50 pm
@Deb
There’s a school in Ottawa, Ontario that banned throwing balls around at recess. (Because it’s dangerous.)
Today’s kids are gonna grow up screwed.
@Steph
Heh heh.
I deliberately tried to make sure none of the granola crunchers resembled you…in case you thought I was poking fun at you, specifically. (Which I wasn’t)
But the way some people are reacting to the Double D, I don’t think my cartoons are exaggerating much.
@Kyddryn
Ah..shucks.
But it seems we got enough bacon-lovers here, we should start our own support group!
April 17, 2010 at 10:23 pm
Interesting Bacon Fact: Bacos, those little crunchy bits of bacon you put in salads, were invented by vegitatians! They are made of soy and have artificial bacon flavour.
So even the granola crunchers secretly yearn for the sweet taste of bacon!
April 17, 2010 at 10:31 pm
@Viking Thunder
…and you certainly don’t see Meatatarians craving veggies, and making fake carrot bits out of jerky.
April 17, 2010 at 10:37 pm
I dont know. Sometimes I do have a strong craving for slow cooked beans with rice and vegetables. But really.. usualy those cravings are within the context of meaty chili, so its sort of a break-eve meat and veg craving
April 17, 2010 at 10:44 pm
Bravo! Excellent point. Not once in all the years I worked in a healthfood store did I get a Meatatarian walk in and ask for Buffalo Broccoli Chips.
Which, that is to say, not the same as Buffalo chips. Or cow pies.
Now MOONpies are a completely different story and I think a junk food run may be in order right about now.
April 17, 2010 at 10:47 pm
>:) Cow Pies are the type of dessert you feed to someone, after you have made them some “rocky mountian oysters”
April 17, 2010 at 10:48 pm
@VT: HA! True.
April 17, 2010 at 11:05 pm
@Deb and VT
I have NEVER had a Moon Pie.
I know OF them. But they don’t sell them up here in the Great White North.
April 18, 2010 at 12:47 am
Then I guess I’ll have to smuggle some of those and DDs across the border just for you.
April 18, 2010 at 8:46 am
@Wee Friar,
You too can learn from your Post.
I googled Moon Pie Recipes and discovered its two soft chocolate cookies with a marshmallow filling, made from butter,sugar,and marshmallow creme.
Personally, I prefer my homemade apple pie.
April 18, 2010 at 9:01 am
@Deb
I got to Upstate NY or Vermont, at least once a summer. I’ll check out the DD then.
But even there…I’ve never seen Moon Pies.
@Friar’s Mom
But…do they know about Joe Louis down south?
PS. I like your apple pie, but I like your blueberry pie even better. Which you haven’t made in 20 years!
April 18, 2010 at 9:43 am
@Wee Friar,
I promise to make you a blueberry pie this summer. We gotta find that wild blueberry patch by the railroad tracks.
Commercial berries are just not the same.
April 18, 2010 at 2:03 pm
I live in maine. There is a blue berry patch in the woods behind my house
I win
April 18, 2010 at 5:41 pm
@VT
I live in Northeastern Ontario.
There are blueberry patches EVERYWHERE.
No, I win.
April 18, 2010 at 7:09 pm
I’m gonna quote Gracious here.
“You people are sad”
You’re not but I can’t think of a good comment at the moment.
Eyegraciousguy
P.S. If you don’t know who Gracious is, then don’t worry, neither do I. But he/she/it has some very succinct comments that are usually spot on.
April 18, 2010 at 8:25 pm
@Eyegracousguy
OK, for one thing, I’m not sad.
Am I naive? Are you trying to be funny? Are you pulling my leg? Do you know something I don’t know? Are you trying to be gracious by not providing a snarky comment?
I googled Gracious, and came up with 15 million hits. I googled “you people are sad” and I got “goodness gracious me . . . you people are sad”.
Normally I learn from Friar’s posts, but I don’t have time to search for Gracious. Are you messing with us?
April 18, 2010 at 9:09 pm
@Eyeteaguy
To paraphrase Gracious, you need help.
@Friar’s Mom
Word of advice. Don’t google anything Eyeteaguy says. You’ll just hurt your brain.
April 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm
I can speak for myself, don’t quote me.
You people aren’t sad, you’re pathetic.
Eat what you want, who cares?
Gracious
April 19, 2010 at 6:20 pm
@Gracious
Acknowledged.
April 19, 2010 at 7:32 pm
@Gracious,
Are you a he a she or an it? We are having a delightful discussion about you offline and it takes an awful long time to write he/she/it every time.
Be a dear and clear it up for us?
Eyeteaguy