Friar’s Prime-Time Shows for the 2010 Summer TV Line-Up
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PBS
- Nova: A history of belly-button lint
- One Lump or Two? The first of a 12-part documentary on tea-time in Victorian England. Chapter One: The introduction of the Crumpet.
- Agatha Christie Presents: Hercule Poirot Waxes his Mustache
Discovery Channel
- Disemboweled Within Minutes
- Two Guys Smashing Things
- The Elvis-Nostradamus Conspiracy
The Learning Channel
- Help! I’m lying in my own filth!
- The boy whose skin exploded on contact.
- When Bed-Bugs Burrow Into Your Brain.
National Geographic Channel
- The Dog Euthanizer
- Egypt’s 20 Most Compelling Sand-dunes
- How the Civilization and Life as We Know it Will End within 10 Years.
ABC
- America’s Funniest Groin Injuries
- Desperate Adultresses
- Dancing with Morons
FOX TV
- When Chimps Explode
- Gordon Ramsay’s “You Stupid $%&@!!, Get the #@%&* out of my Kitchen!”
- So You Want to Be an Ass-Clown
-American Douchebag
CBS
- CSI: Lincoln, Nebraska
- How I met who I think might be your Mother
- The Not-so-Amazing-Give-it-a-Rest-Already Race
NBC
- Former 60′s Child-TV-Stars-Now-in-Rehab Apprentice
- America’s got Stupidity
Conan O’Brian Jay Leno All-Night All the Time
CBC
- Growing up Taliban
- Anne of Green Gables Part XXXVIII: A New Sun-Bonnet
- The Nature of Things: Why David Suzuki is right and you’re wrong.
Cartoon Network
- Douche-Bob Underpants
- Ogi-yoh Sajamé!
- Death-Ball
- Fart-Masters of the Universe
- Like, totally. What-EV-er.
Tags: humor, prime-time, television, tv line-up
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April 27, 2010 at 7:25 am
@Wee Friar,
Have you forced yourslef to watch all the above-metnioned TV programs, so you can make a credible authentic report?
April 27, 2010 at 7:36 am
I think you hit the nail on the head on all counts.
What does that say about our (the US’s) civilization?
What really bugs me is people watch all that crap then come to work and want to talk to me about it. Piss off. It didn’t happen to you. It was a bit of entertaining crap that I didn’t watch on purpose and I really don’t want to hear what I missed.
TV is a wonderful invention gone wrong. Thank goodness for the Internet.
Eyetvguy
April 27, 2010 at 8:30 am
@Eyetvguy,
Word.
April 27, 2010 at 8:52 am
@Friar’s Mom
Oh, I just cut and past the TV Guide.
@Eyeteaguy
Yes. Thank Goodness for the Internet.
So we can use FaceBook to announce to the whole world what our next meal is that we’re preparing. Or watch that video with those Girls and a Cup. Or read all kinds of “Expert” advice on how to improve our lives from “Qualified” Bloggers. Or pay a “Social Media Guru” $250/hr so they can help us fix our SEO or PEO or EI-EI-Oh.
Not to mention, reading lame-ass posts like this one.
Still…the internet requires typing on a keyboard, some reading and writing is involved. So I suppose it requires somewhat more brain cells that just watching TV.
@Brett
True. I never would have seen any of those Viking Death-Rock Videos, if you hadn’t shown them to me on You-Tube.
April 27, 2010 at 9:10 am
Well it’s good to see the networks are finally starting to concentrate on quality rather than just the cheapest commercial success they can get.
April 27, 2010 at 9:20 am
@dave
I think there should be more shows with chimps, like they had in the 1960′s and 70′s.
You can never have enough monkeys, in my books.
April 27, 2010 at 9:58 am
You are a negative SOB.
Gracious
April 27, 2010 at 10:13 am
@Gracious
Your comment has been received.
April 27, 2010 at 10:17 am
@Gracious,
Did you just call Friar’s Mom a 13itch?
Wow you really are an a$$hole.
Eyeteaguy
April 27, 2010 at 10:20 am
Gee, I guess I’ll dust off all those literary classics and start reading again. There just doesn’t seem to be anything in that line-up that really grabs my attention. The new sun bonnet maybe… and if there were monkeys for sure
April 27, 2010 at 10:21 am
EyeMyEguy,
Thanks for protecting Friar’s mom.
You’re so chivalrous!
How nice to meet up again here in blogoland. I’m wearing my best keyboard for you today. You like?
April 27, 2010 at 10:41 am
Gracious = Troll.
That is all.
April 27, 2010 at 10:45 am
I didn’t know they made thong keyboards. And the frills really set it off nicely….. and me too.
Eyerevvedupguy
April 27, 2010 at 12:16 pm
@Eyeteaguy
(*Taking my hat off to you*)
Bravo. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
@XUP
I think that would be a great idea…re-enacting Anne of Green Gables….but with Chimps! Kind of like Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp (I vaguely remember seeing that once).
@Seestor
Eyeteaguy may be occasionally grumpy…but you gotta give him credit, he’ll stand up for you when it counts.
@Brett
Shhh…we better be careful. We don’t want to go trip-trapping on his bridge.
@Eyerevvedupguy
Settle down! Do I have to come down there?
April 27, 2010 at 12:44 pm
Chimps are extra funny in sun bonnets. And with red braids? Hoo-haw …the zaniness that could ensue!!
April 27, 2010 at 3:00 pm
F**k — Gracious is a whore. They left a nasty comment on one of my recent blog posts too. Bwahahahaha. And I thought you spent all your time on Twitter.
April 27, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Er… sorry bout the foul language
Okay, now I’ve actually read the post and stopped laughing. This is damn funny stuff, Friar; from the bit about the belly button lint to Douche-Bob Underpants. You should be writing for sitcoms or late night tv.
April 27, 2010 at 4:16 pm
@ Gracious,
No one is twisting your arm and forcing you to read Deep Friar’s tongue-in-cheek fun post. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. Don’t you know it’s that simple?
Did your parents named you Gracious, or did you yourself chose Gracious as your pseudonym. For me the word “gracious” conjures up kindness, courtesy, charm, beauty, compassion, elegance, and tact. You lack all of those qualities.
Lighten up and find something productive and meaningful to do with your life.
April 27, 2010 at 4:48 pm
@XUP
Geez…THANKS.
Now I can’t shake the image of a chimp with red braids and a blue-checkered dress, playing Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz.
@Davina
Frankly, I’m SHOCKED…!!!!
You said the “W” word you yourself hate so much!
@Friar’s Mom
Oh, just ignore it. It will go away.
April 27, 2010 at 9:48 pm
Which Who song do you suppose would be the theme for C.S.I.: Lincoln, Nebraska? Boris the Spider? Squeezebox? My Wife? Are there any Who songs with ‘Corn’ in the title?
April 28, 2010 at 6:57 am
@Alison
“The Cows are All Right”.
April 28, 2010 at 7:41 am
@Alison,
Isn’t Nebraska also Cattle Country? What about a Canadian song by the Arrogant Worms–I Am Cow http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=immdNYQOGt8?
April 28, 2010 at 11:24 am
With a line up like THIS I am signing up for cable – its going to be a wonderful summer, no mosquitoes, no sunburns just 24 -7 mindless drivel. I am shivering in anticipation.
April 28, 2010 at 1:33 pm
@Friar’s Mom
Nice idea, but it woudln’t fly. I doubt Alison (or anyone outside of Canada) has heard of the Arrogant Worms.
@Jay
Between TV and Blogging and Twitter and Facebook, you’d never have to set foot outdoors all summer. Ever.
April 29, 2010 at 11:44 am
Ya what’s the deal with this Gracious twat who appears out of nowhere and leaves stupid comments on everyone’s blog? I suspect talking nasty on blogs gets him hot. We should probably not react.
April 29, 2010 at 10:35 pm
CBS: Survivor-East Los Angeles
ABC: Dancing with the Midgets
NBC: Live from New York! It’s Saturday Night of the Living Dead!
National Geo: Lesbian Penguins of the Falkland Islands.
BET: From the archives. Michael Jackson’s skin care for effeminate pop singers. Sponsored by Clorox.
You see Friar, there’s always something good on cable or satellite. You just have to have the patience to explore.
April 29, 2010 at 10:51 pm
@XUP
Who knows, eh? It seems to have originated on Eyeteaguy’s blog, and latched onto his followers like you and me. Not unlike a barnacle.
@Captain Push
If they live through Survivor East-LA, I’d suggest Survivor Northern Ontario. In June. With the bugs.
If those shows don’t work out, there’s always FOX TV. With Large-Fill-in-the-TV-Screen-Bobble-Headed- -Conservative-Newscasters Screaming.