Friar’s Sure-Fire Weight-Loss Techniques
Get a chest cold, which turns into bronchitis and you have to take antibiotics. The pills will make your stomach feel shitty and you won’t feel like eating.
Have a shitty job and/or shitty relationship that stresses you out so much, that you won’t feel like eating.
Get the stomach flu and/or or eat bad meat.
Go to one of those frou-frou expensive restaurants where they serve the meals on large square plates. You’ll be lucky if the main course costs consists of five potato balls and a sliver of meat.
Order take-out pizza, but have a woman place the order. She’ll buy just enough, assuming everyone will only want one (maybe two) slices each.
Live in small-town Ontario, and only try to buy your groceries after 7:00 PM.
Watch Grandma eat, with her poorly-fitting dentures.
Hate to cook, and live in a small town with no fast-food joints.
Attend “Lunch and Learn” sessions at work…which are typically no lunch, and all learn.
At all-you-can-eat buffets, make sure you stand behind a doddering senior. By the time they’ve picked and chosen their food, you’ll have lost 5 lbs.
At McDonalds, make sure you go through drive-thru behind a Soccer Mom in a van full of screaming kids. (See above).
Have kids and try to eat at the same time they do.Explore posts in the same categories: Friar's Grab Bag comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.