Useful (?) Squirrels
Tulips growing right out of my lawn.
Nice.
Gee, I wonder who did that…huh?
You SQUIRRELS wouldn’t have had anything to do with this, now, would you?
a
You varmints probably stole the bulbs from my own garden.
Or maybe the neighbor’s.
But I have to admit, it’s kind of neat, having tulips come out of my lawn.
a
It seems you’ve actually done something constructive for a change.
Instead of chewing up electrical wiring, or trying to nest in my roof, or scolding me from your tree-throne, you’ve created beauty.
So I’ll let this one go…THIS time.
a
But don’t let it go to your head.
You rodents are still a-holes, in my book.
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Tags: humor, rant, squirrels, varmints
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May 12, 2011 at 2:08 pm
I’d be thrilled to see tulips growning in my lawn. It would make me smile.
Big deal. So what if they stole a few tulip bulbs. Back here they’re destructive rodentia horriblius. I’ve been waging a battle against these ravenous critters for years.
Their latest senseless destruction: They chewed a huge hole in my deck just where the two outside 16 foot cedar boards meet. Last fall, I blocked the hole with a brick. Clever critters chewed through the support board underneath. And tried to enlarge the hole from the inside. They won’t go near a humane trap.
I hate to think about how costly it will be to replace the boards. The deck will look stupid with weathered cedar and only two sides replaced with new wood. I’ll probably have to replace the entire deck. Darn! Darn! Darn!
May 12, 2011 at 3:52 pm
@Friar’s Mom
I was especially thinking of you when I wrote this post. I dont’ have anywher near the squirrel problems you do.
If it’s any consolation, I’m on a mission to let the world know what kind of a-holes these criters are. Especially on Facebook.
May 13, 2011 at 6:09 pm
In the summer of 91 I shot 18 squirrels dead. Didn’t even make a dent in the population. But it was fun. Hiding the bodies was interesting too. Good thing I had so many enemies back them. You’ve got mail!
May 14, 2011 at 10:21 am
@Eyeteaguy
You and Friar’s Mom would get along just fine. She’s also trying to make a dent in the squirrel population, (though not very successfully).
The damned varmints have declared war on her, and are trying to destroy her house, piece by piece.
May 15, 2011 at 5:40 pm
If you just paved over your whole yard, you wouldn’t have all these squirrel problems. It takes a long time for a squirrel to gnaw through concrete.
May 15, 2011 at 6:35 pm
@XUP
If you give them enough time…they WILL.
PS. Good to see ya again!