Happy Post-Thanksgiving: Eleven Things I am Ungrateful For
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1. Squirrels
Because they’re assholes.
Anyone who follows my blog will know why.
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2. Frosted Mini Wheats
Coat them with sugar all you want, they still taste like sawdust.
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3. Lucky Charms (just the cereal part)
Because REALLY…without marshmallows, what’s the freaking POINT?
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4. Caillou
Teaching kids everywhere to be whiny little shits, since 1995.
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5. The Kardashians
For the life of me, I cannot think of one thing these women actually DO. Except maybe metabolize food into CO2 and water vapor and waste heat.
Okay. I’ll give them THAT…at least.
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6. French Kids’ TV Shows with Puppets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwiHQsb6Ja0
…and you thought ELMO was obnoxious!
asfds
7. Estrogen-Saturated Yogurt Commercials
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNqGMKltUYk
Nothing like setting back the feminist movement by 40 years…
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8. Chips Ahoy Cookie Bags
Ever since they changed their design…just TRY and open one without ripping it.
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9. Faster-than-Light Neutrinos Research
Okay, you guys. Stop it.
Just STOP it.
You’re going to ruin physics for EVERYONE.
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10. Cirque de Soleil
Make it go away.
PLEASE.
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11. Inspirational Posters telling me to be grateful.
Because actually, they have the OPPOSITE effect.
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Tags: gratefulness, humor, I hate Caillou, inspriational posters, rant, squirrels, Thanksgiving
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November 26, 2011 at 1:14 pm
I love MiniWheats but I understand why you don’t. Everything else I agree with. BTW who are the Kardashians?
November 26, 2011 at 2:24 pm
@Army Wife
I tolerate them. If they’re put in front of me, I’ll eat them. But I won’t go out of my way to buy them.
November 26, 2011 at 2:55 pm
Viagra, etc. advertising;
Stupid advertising in general.
November 26, 2011 at 6:52 pm
@Mike
Any advertising that has to do with genitalia is especially annoying.
November 26, 2011 at 9:43 pm
As for #9, it’s too late — physics was already ruined by black holes, the paradox of particles than can be either measured or observed but not both, and Schrodinger’s cat. Now it’s just getting interesting again.
November 26, 2011 at 10:07 pm
wow! I stopped liking science when they got rid of the planet Pluto…that was so mean … not to be anal-retentive but Lucky Charms HAVE marshmellows – so why are you eating the cereal part without the marshmellows?
November 27, 2011 at 8:55 am
I totally agree with you. Add in the evil empire (Walmart).
November 27, 2011 at 10:36 am
Where did you find that French puppet show??? It’s amazing!
November 28, 2011 at 7:33 pm
@topiclessBar
Just search “Passe Partout” on YouTube. And prepare yourself to be VERY annoyed.
(This was a very popular kids TV show in QUebec).
November 28, 2011 at 7:34 pm
@MomLady
I’m starting to like Walmart now, because the “People of Walmart” web site provides such great entertainment!
November 28, 2011 at 7:35 pm
@Dot
But our existing physics was okay with all those things. It’s the faster-than-light neutrinos that are causing all the kerfuffle.
November 28, 2011 at 7:36 pm
@Carmen
I think what they did to Pluto was pretty shitty.
You don’t give something like “Planetary Status”, and then suddenly take it back. For SHAME…astronomers…for SHAME!