Friar’s Christmas Wishes
Forget world peace.
Here’s what I’d like to see for Christmas 2011.
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All the fruitcake on the planet will be loaded onto one huge rocket, and launched into the sun.
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It’ll be against the law to give clothes as gifts to any kid under 10.
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The Turkey Stuffing Fairy will see to it that turkey stuffing everywhere will be raisin-free.
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Charlie Brown will finally stop taking crap from Lucy.
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The Abominable Snow-Monster will get to keep all this teeth, this time.
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Children’s Aid will get involved, and see to it that those poor Frosty kids have decent winter clothes, for a change.
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Tags: Bumble, Charlie Brown Christmas, Christmas, Christmas cartoons, Frosty the Snowman, Hermy, humor, I hate fruitcake, Ruloph
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December 22, 2011 at 1:41 am
I’m so with you on the raisin-free turkey stuffing.
December 22, 2011 at 2:21 am
Aren’t you at all worried that if all the fruitcake was fired into the sun the increase in mass might trigger a black hole and end the galaxy.
December 22, 2011 at 2:35 am
Hysterical. Especially the frosty kids! Can we have the fruitcakes shipped to my house instead of to the sun? Yup. I am that 1 percent of population that actually loves fruitcake. Merry Christmas!
December 22, 2011 at 8:15 pm
Raisins? I never had stuffing with raisins. It just doesn’t seem right. And wasn’t it supposed to be such a warm day that day that Frosty melted? All these made me laugh, especially the gift police.
December 22, 2011 at 11:43 pm
@Vered
I know…they’re VILE, aren’t they?
@Dave
As long as the mass of the sun and fruitcake don’t exceed 1.4 solar masses, which is the Chandreshakar Limit, below which black holes can’t form.
@Carmen
You and my Mom, both. (Bleah!)
@Dot
That Frosty thing has always been a pet peeve of mine. After this blog post, I have closure.