I’ve lost count of all the paintings I’ve done, but each one has a story behind it,
And if I jog my memory, I can remember most of them.
Here are a few.
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“BuckWheat”

This was a study I did in art class. My teacher wanted me to learn to paint texture, hence the elephant’s wrinkly skin.
I spent so much time on this damned pachyderm, I started to become on a first-name basis with him.
So for my own amusement (and to annoy the serious old biddies in the class) I proudly announced that I would call this painting ”BUCKWHEAT”.
One of these ladies asked me: ”WHAT…in GOD’s name is a “Buckwheat?”
“Why…THAT ELEPHANT, OF COURSE!”, I replied.
Needless to say, she didn’t appreciate my answer.
(Did I mention I liked to annoy the serious old biddies in my class?)
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My Favorite Rocks

I did this the day I got a shitty pay raise at my old job.
I was so depressed and so demoralized, I wanted to cry.
Instead, I sat down for four straight hours and painted this. It turned out to be the best thing I had ever done at the time.
I guess they’re right, when they say artists must suffer.
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Acadia Rocks

I was going aways for the weekend and it was a 3 hour drive to my friend’s house.
Just before I left, I decided to paint a quickie.
I pulled this one off in an hour.
Sometimes, it works that way.
The stars line up, everything falls into place, and you end up with a keeper.
And you’ll never be able to duplicate it quite the same way again, no matter how hard you try.
This was one of those special paintings.
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House from Hell

Dammit, I worked SO hard on this.
It was an old brick house on the West Island of Montreal, and I was trying to paint it in art class.
This other student sitting next to me (a stupid witch I couldn’t stand) kept telling me I was doing it wrong.
Of course, she couldn’t draw or paint jack-shit herself. But she was more than eager to point out all MY errors.
And she would NOT shut the #@$% up about it.
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I kept trying to ignore her, but the painting wasn’t going well. I just couldn’t’ get the perspective quite right.
Half way through the class, my teacher shook her head, and told me the painting was beyond fixing, and I had to reluctantly agree.
Of course, the Witch chimed in: ”See? I TOLD HIM! I TOLD HIM he was doing it wrong, I TOLD HIM!”
I got so fed up, I set fire to my house.
I figured if I ruined the painting, then at least I might as well get some amusement out of it.
Heh heh.
It worked.
10 years later, the burning house still makes me laugh.
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Depot Lake Road

Getting back to the Painting Witch.
By this time, I was quite pissed off at her, and was on the verge of tearing her a new one.
Instead, I took out a photo, and used my anger to start a new painting, right in front of her.
I splashed my paint willy-nilly, and finished this 9″ x 12″ before the class was over.
Just to prove that I could.
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…I can still see her mouth dropping open in amazement.
(And THAT…was far more satisfying than any screaming or yelling I could have done to her!)
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