In the final match of the Pan-Asian-Nordic Warrior games, it was the Vikings versus the Ninjas.
“Try to keep the kills clean”, said the referee, “…and no disemboweling below the belt.”.
The Ninjas started out with their fiercest battle poses, in the attempt to intimidate their enemy.
This did little to impress the Vikings, however.
“Hyårgen! Hyårgen! Hyårgen! “, they laughed. “What are these grown men, in pajamas?”
“So, you MOCK us?”, cried the Ninjas. “Then taste our Stars of Death!”
“Oboy…cookies!”, said Thrull.
“Idiot! Don’t EAT them!” scolded Clöst Æfröck.
“Okay, my turn to play!”, said Thrull, and he proceeded to pile onto the Ninjas.
The air literally clapped with Viking Thunder, as he broke wind on his unfortunate foes.
“Foul!”, cried the referee.
“It sure is!”, laughed the Vikings.
At this point, the Ninjas started to anger.
“Feel the full force of our wrath!”, they cried, and set themselves upon the Vikings with their full force.
“Oh, Goody! They’re attacking!”, observed the Berserker.
“Do we get to fight for real now? “, asked Olaf ThunderFrö4ck.
“Yes, but lads, please try to show some decorum, shall we?”, said Clöst. “Let’s not expel any more bodily gases, if we can help it.”
The final battle was brief, but intense.
When all was said and done, it was clear who the victors were.
“The Pan-Asian Nordic Champions of the World are…The VIKINGS”, declared the referree.
The Ninjas were devastated, especially the Lead Ninja.
“This sword was in my family for six centuries….handed down from father to son. And you…you BROKE it with your horrid walking stick”.
“We have dishonored ourselves and our ancestors. We must committ sepuku!”
“Awww…come on….don’t be like that. Why dont’ you join us in our victory feast instead?”, the Berserker asked.
And so they did.
“This food…it’s so GOOD”, said the Ninjas. “It’s a lot richer than the meager fare we’re used to”.
“You were worthy foes” said Olaf. “You’re just a little underweight for these type of battles”.
“Yes”, agreed Olaf. “Rice and fish is fine. But try to eat more mutton, porc, chicken and beef, as we Vikings do, and you’ll fill out nicely.
“This time next year, who knows? Maybe you’ll be the ones massacring US!”.