(*) All based on actual dating ads I’ve seen.
(Seriously, folks, I cannot make this shit up!)
Okay, if you’re supposed to be single and available, then who the hell is this guy that’s cropped out of the picture? Your Dad? Your brother? Uncle Sven?
Or is it your jealous Ex who still stalks everyone you talk to?
I think I’ll pass.
2. The World Traveler
Okay, it’s an admirable quality to want to broaden one’s horizons and see different cultures.
But the 20-pixel photo of yourself in the background tells me nothing about what you look like.
News Flash: Guys are interested in dating women…NOT the Great Pyramid of Giza.
3. Okay!…Okay! You’re a MOM! …We GET it!
Ladies, we guys aren’t stupid. We realize that most women over 30 come with kids from a previous relationship.
But can you at least take a 2-minute break from you Mommyhood and just pose for one lousy picture, without having to involve your precious offspring?
Or maybe you want just to scare off all the guys who aren’t thrilled with being an “Instant Dad” on the first date.
If which case, mission accomplished.
4. Ms. Scowly-Face
THIS is the best picture of yourself that you could find?
I mean, how much effort does it take to SMILE?
5. Good LORD…! What IS that?
Here’s a hint to all you budding photographers out there:
Holding the camera at arms’ length rarely provides flattering results.
6. I sense a lack of focus
Oh, come ON! You’re not even TRYING!
7. Lookit My Home Renovations
Do you honestly think that people are interested in your rock-pile?
WHY…in Gods’ name, would you post this picture, instead more photos of yourself?
(Although this helps explain why you’re still single…)