No Chicken For You!!!

One thing I quickly learned in Small Town Ontario is that you just can’t do certain things that you can in the “Big City”.  Like…buy basic groceries when you want  

I was at the Splat Creek Cheezi-Mart after work one day, really hungry.  I figured I’d buy one of those $7.00 roast chickens (you know, the ones you see at the Deli Counter).   I had a craving for one.

There were only three chickens left. (Regardless of what time of day it is..there are always only three left).   Never mind that 4000 people live here.  The Cheezi-Mart only cooks three.  (Lord only knows why….I’ve learned to stop questioning how things work in Splat Creek).     

 I said “I’d like to buy that chicken, please”.

 “No, sir, I’m sorry, those chickens are spoken for.”

“What do you mean, spoken for?”

“Someone else is going to buy them.”


 “Other customers…they will be buying those chickens later .”

“Well, I’m a customer, and I’d like to buy one right now!”

 “No, sorry sir.  Those chickens are RESERVED” 

( $%@#!)  “What do you mean, RESERVED”?

“Those chickens are spoken for, I”m sorry, they’re reserved.  There are no more chickens.”

 (Oh, for crying out loud!) 

“Okay..forget it…Just FORGET IT“.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

…So that was that.  No Chicken for You!!!


As I left the store (grumpy and hungry), the cashier explained it to me:  if I wanted a chicken, I should phone the store around 3:30 PM, and let them know ahead of time that I’ll be buying a chicken around 5:30.  Then they’ll have one ready for me….and I’ll be on the ‘reserved’ list.

(Sigh…I hate the Cheezi-Mart).

Not like it has to be this way in Small Town Ontario.   For example, there’s another even Smaller Town Ontario (Hicksville), one  hour away.  Hicksville has one third the population of Splat Creek. Yet their grocery store somehome manages to sell as many chickens as you want….anytime.  Just pick one up and buy it.

 (Wow….what a concept!).  Just like the Big City!

The Friar’s gotta go to Hicksville more often.


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2 Comments on “No Chicken For You!!!”

  1. a Says:

    quite often more than 3… we get them at random all the time.

  2. Friar Says:

    I must be going to the Cheezi-Mart at the wrong time. Whenever I go, it’s three chickens…no more, no less.

    (…but the grocery store in Hicksville always has at least ten!)

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