How come?

So how come the general public 

including five-year-old kids,

Moms pushing infants in strollers, 

wheelchair-bound seniors,  

immigrants who can’t speak English,

even the blind and mentally handicapped

are allowed to go into crowded public places

like shopping malls, baseball stadiums, movie theaters

libraries, restaurants

and nobody lectures them on safety 

or tells them how to exit the building

in case of an emergency?


How come these people can enter and exit these buildings 

every single day

by the millions

and miraculously

everyone somehow manages to survive?


Yet how come in some work places  

before even STARTING a simple meeting 

with 5 people in a room

there is an apparent need 

to inform the staff    

where the fire exits are

even though everyone

might already work in that exact same building

5 days a week,  49 weeks a year

and they probably already know where the door is to get out

after all

they leave to go home every night

don’t they?


Is it because the management

truly believes it is educating their staff be more safe?


Or is it because it management

wants to cover its ass

because it assumes its employees

despite all their degrees and training

are still total dick-tards

who, unlike the millions of public,

are incapable of thinking for themselves

and need to be taught 

the most basic of life skills

like reading exit signs?


I’m just askin’….is all…


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19 Comments on “How come?”

  1. They don’t assume that the employees are “incapable of thinking for themselves”. It’s more that the employees are capable of calculating huge settlements in the event an accident occurs.

    “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we can all agree that the fire at Mega- Million Dollar Company was caused when the magnifying glass dropped by the astronauts on the space station reflected the sun’s rays as it fell through the earth’s atmosphere. Mega-Million Dollar Company is not responsible for that. We’ll be suing the appropriate people later. Mega- Million Dollar Company ‘is’ responsible for the pain and emotional distress suffered by the poor employees who were in the building when the fire started.

    Those people were afraid, ladies and gentlemen, and with good reason. They had to figure out how to get out of that raging inferno all by themselves…amidst all the panic, confusion and danger. Mega-Million Dollar Company cared more about making money than keeping its employees safe. Not only did Mega-Million Dollar Company refuse to spend any of its profits on safety training; they didn’t even ‘tell’ the employees how to open the doors in case of emergency. That, ladies and gentlemen, should Mega-Million Dollar Company’s first action, and it would have cost them nothing

    So how much of Mega-Million Dollar Company’s excessive bank account are you going to choose to award these poor people who helped to make the money but suffered because the company didn’t care about them.

    Sorry, got on a bit of a tear, there. Guess I should stick to airing my pet peeves on my own blog…but you dangled it so enticingly.

  2. Brett Legree Says:

    I agree with April to a point, and then my own experience at these large companies is this – they give the training, the employees still screw up and cut off their thumbs with power tools, then said Mega-Million Dollar Company says, “but we trained you – now it isn’t our fault”.

    Or, “we showed you where the fire exits were, you forgot and burned to death, not our fault now”.

    It is so transparently obvious that so much of the training we receive at work is just “liability shifting” – now that we’ve warned you of the dangers, if you get hurt it isn’t our fault, and you can’t sue us.

    The first two sentences of Friar’s last paragraph are it in a nutshell – the company is being duly diligent which translates to CYA.

    Fair enough. It isn’t the company’s fault. So then don’t waste my time making me sit through boring PowerPoint presentations. Just send me a memo or an email and be done with it.

  3. Friar Says:


    You’re right. It’s all about money.

    They dont’ tell Joe Public where the fire exits are, because that would discourage shoppers and they’d lose even more money than the risk of an occasional lawsuit.

    But it still pisses me off. I’m so sick of having my intelligence insulted.

    I think it’s worse in the States, because the lawyers get a percentage of the any settlement. (In Canada, lawyers can only charge a flat rate).


    I could understand the CYA principle…but like you said…companies won’t just give out a memo or email. They’ll make a big Power Point presentatin and waste hours of your time. Then they’ll bitch that you’re behind your projects.

    Where a Friend of Mine worked..they were told about the hazards of slipping and falling on the ice during winter, not once…not twice..but over ELEVEN times.

    (Which…could be the subject of another post).

  4. And they have to fill in all those hors of the day. Don’t you think the actual work could be done in oh half a day then everyone go play ball or fish?

  5. Friar Says:


    Exactly!!! Some days, I do maybe 2-3 hours of useful work. The rest is filler and administrative B.S.

    Once, I was in a meeting where they gave a presentation on recycling pop cans and paper, like we were 10 years old. Counting the man-hours, based on the people in the room, I figured this little enviro-friendly seminar cost the company the equivalent of $5000.

    That itself isn’t so bad. Except that we had the exact SAME seminar a few months earlier!

  6. Kelly Says:


    Lovely observations. You are a poet. Second time I’ve noticed it. If you don’t believe me, check out Robert Bruce.

    Read a few of those and you’ll know the way you occasionally throw words together is poetry. The absurdity of modern life, pitched in poetry, prose, and comic illustrations, by the Deep Friar.

    Oh, yes, and I hear you, too. The quantity and inane detail of regulations in larger firms will drive any sane person to drink. Which you do. So it’s working, according to their diabolical plan. 😉



  7. 6 Weeks Says:

    […] if you will, a fire in your office building (with a humourous link back to Friar’s safety post!) – the alarm bells sound, and everyone runs simultaneously to one […]

  8. I know, seriously,….horror vaqui

    I would love to be in charge of those meetings….we would so play….and every one would be so much more productive because of it… and there would be snacks.

  9. Friar Says:


    Whenever I get asked to give a presentation…I can take the most dryest subject, and throw in a few jokes and get the room laughing. Wish I had more opportunity to do this.

    But I guess it’s not “ACCEPTABLE” to do your job, and also have a sense of humor and laugh and enjoy yourself.

    That’s why I’ll never be a senior manager.

  10. Friar Says:


    Me…? A poet? NO WAY!!! I totally DENY IT!

    I checked out that website. I reluctantly admit…Robert Bruce’s style of poetry is similar to how I wrote this post.

    But it was TOTALLY unintentional….!!! I assure you!

    PS. Did you read his little blurb about “Self Help”. Holy crap! That was hilarious!

  11. So Presentation IDOL, it needs to happen. Let the audience decide…

  12. Steph Says:

    @Friar: I missed this post and found it today.

    You need to get out of there. By the emergency exit.

  13. Friar Says:


    I’ll just get myself it trouble! (A few years back…I drew a cartoon about a stupid safety acroynm they showed us). Everyone at work thought it was hilarious! (And it was something harmless you could have showed your grandma).

    But neverthless, I got called to the carpet for it and got it major shit.

    (To this day, I”m quite proud of tha acheivement)

  14. Friar Says:


    Usually, in cases like this, it’s not uncommon for them to give us Acronyms to help remind us of whatever it is they’re trying to indoctrinate us with.

    I came up with my own:

    F: Find the exits. U: Understand where they’re located. C: remain calm. K: KNOWLEDGE is the key to safety. M: Move outside. E: Exit accordingly.

  15. “total dick-tards” <<< ferrrr shurrrrr

  16. LOL…so I guess glow in the dark humor is out too…it is nuclear right?

  17. Friar Says:


    I had a stronger expression than “dick-tards”,but there are ladies present! 🙂

    Glow in the dark…broad daylight….incandescent, L.E.D….any kind of humor. They’ve TOTALLY sucked it out of the work place.

  18. Dude you’re doocin’

  19. Friar Says:


    Doocin’……? Is that a good or bad thing? (I’m not up with all the Blog Lingo!)

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