I tried, but couldn’t eat this candy…

A fluorescent marshmallow SpongeBob Square Pants.

On a stick.

Made in China, no less.

This is wrong on so many levels, I don’t know where to begin.

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35 Comments on “I tried, but couldn’t eat this candy…”

  1. Steph Says:

    Ahahahaha!! EWWWW!!

  2. Friar Says:

    @Steph

    You know what’s worse? The bright pink Patrick Marshmallow pop that goes with it!

  3. Brett Legree Says:

    I think my kids tried those, and couldn’t eat them… so that says something.

  4. Friar Says:

    @Brett
    You know, when kids refuse to eat candy, it must be PRETTY BAD.

    I took two bites, and that was all I could take.

    The Goo-Goo eyes were rock-hard…I’d have smashed my teeth.

  5. wendikelly Says:

    That…is…discusting…..

    I’m going to go eat a fresh juicy peach now.

    *shudders*

  6. Kelly Says:

    Friar,

    I don’t live under a rock, so I know him, but I don’t watch the show. Should the tie be so….

    … prominent? I am completely grossed out by the tie, which as you would expect from me, took a while to register as a tie. I want to put a fig leaf over it.

    Unbelievable. I’d give my daughter a carton of candy cigs before I’d give her one of those.

    You come up with the darndest things!

    Regards,

    Kelly

  7. Friar Says:

    @Wendi
    I agree. By all that is sacred and holy, NOTHING edible should look like that.

    @Kelly

    Normally, SpongeBob’s necktie isn’t so prominent. It’s just a normal red color, as you can see here:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SpongeBob_SquarePants_(character)

    I don’t know why the candy turned out so heinous. I suspect there was something lost in the translation, when Nickelodeon negociated with the Chinese manufacturers.

    I know how you feel about candy cigs. So the fact that you’d prefer your daughter to eat THOSE than this SpongeBoB lollipop….well, that speaks volumes! 🙂

  8. Kelly Says:

    Friar,

    And looks a lot more like a tie. The cartoon doesn’t need a fig leaf.

    Gross. Funny, but gross.

    Later,

    Kelly


  9. Ha – Kelly — And you’re suggesting something is wrong with me when I take sign along the side of a country road the wrong way?

    Must be a gender thing…

    One thing is certain, it’s been a really weird morning…

    ~Graham

  10. Kelly Says:

    Graham,

    Nope, not suggesting something’s wrong. Lots of hormones when you’re a teenage boy. You just might not have read it the same way later. (It’s my way of defending the poor waifs’ parents.)

    On the other hand, there are plenty of hormones around when you’re a 39-year-old lady. Stick around…

    😉

    Friar dear,

    Why do I always get blamed? Did I put up this post? No-o.

    Of course I did put up a little something called Sex and MCE… didn’t everyone know that “sex” means “gender”? Oh, dear. I’ll have to watch for misinterpretations next time.

    Until later,

    Kelly


  11. OH!!! It’s his TIE!!!! Thank goodness.

  12. Friar Says:

    @Kelly

    How do you always get involved in these strange discussions? I dunno..you just DO! 🙂

    @Urban Panther

    I know it’s his tie…but ever since Kelly mentionned how creepy it looks, now I’m even MORE disturbed by this candy!

    I hope it doesn’t ruin my enjoyment of SpongeBob cartoons! 🙂

  13. Karen Swim Says:

    Ick! Friar, you’re right wrong on so many levels.

    Kelly, oh man I did not know it was his tie. Thanks! The tie adds to the disgust factor. What were they thinking?

    I have never watched the cartoon but the candy is creepy!

  14. Friar Says:

    @Karen

    Don’t worry, the cartoon is totally unlike this creepy candy, it’s very wholesome and funny, suitable for kids.

    Though talk about “cultural differences” and things getting “lost in translation”, eh? 🙂

  15. Amy Says:

    Oh dear. I’m glad someone said it was a tie. Because I’ve never seen this dude before, but I had to think, “His square pants have something hanging out of them.”

    I am glad you didn’t chip a tooth, Friar. Those eyes look mighty dangerous.

  16. Friar Says:

    @Amy

    Yeah…just because something is “edible”, dosen’t necessarily mean you should eat it!

    Knowing the typical quality you get from China, wouldn’t suprise me if this was full of melanine or lead-based food coloring! 🙂

  17. Karen JL Says:

    That is so nasty.

    Did you find it in a dollar store? That could NOT have been in a real candy store, could it?

    Happy belated B-Day Friar! 🙂

    My SP Live review is up (might be a little long winded)…enjoy.

  18. Friar Says:

    @Karen
    No..this was a normal drugstore (along with all the other crappy candy near the front cash).

    Thanks for the B-Day gretting.

    I’ll have to check out your SP review!!!


  19. Wonder how he’d microwave? Peeps get really interesting…. You’d probably have to lose the straw, though, before you tried it. You could take pictures and document it for the web. The peep pics are great!

    Hey, I used to love candy cigarettes and bubblegum cigars when I was a kid. Never encouraged me to try the real thing….


  20. Friar,

    The preteen wants to know how it’s in perfect condition if you tried it. See, further evidence that he’s still in my possession (and evidence of what I have to deal with on a daily basis that might cause me to change the situation). 🙂

  21. Friar Says:

    @April

    Yeah, I STUBBORNLY maintain that candy cigarettes are relatively harmless, and that if some kid is gonna smoke, it will be because of OTHER reasons, not because of Popeye.

    (But I think I will lose this argument….too many people out there disagree with me!) 🙂

    Microwave. Heh heh heh. What a twisted mind you have. (Obviously you have a pre-teen at home !)

    Tell the pre-teen that I took the photos of SpongeBob BEFORE I tried it (Who wants to see photos with two bites taken out of it?)


  22. Friar,

    Preteen says, “You told him I asked? Oh. Okay.”

    Can’t lay the microwave idea at the preteen’s door (unfortunately?). About 6 years ago my sister/housemate came to me with a vision of flaming peeps. She provided them in many colors; we skewered them; and had fun with the bbq grill. We toned down the sadism a little bit by turning them into s’mores. The grill’s right outside the kitchen door. We had to pass by the microwave on the way out to refuel and somebody (maybe my brother) got the idea to see what would happen….

    There was a surprisingly small amount of alcohol involved on that Easter Sunday…and peep s’mores became an Easter tradition.


  23. Uh, Friar, your blog ate my last comment. That functionality should probably be written into all blogs.
    IF comment = too stupid for words, THEN save blogosphere = do not publish 🙂

  24. Friar Says:

    @April

    There’s something going on today. I’ve been having my comments eaten on other peoples blogs today, as well.

    Gremlins. Little gremlins in the Blogosphere. Messing with things.


  25. All right…who fed them after midnight?! C’mon…’fess up. We know you’re out there.

  26. Friar Says:

    @April

    They must have gotten a hold of SpongeBob from out of the garbage can.


  27. I don’t know, Friar. I mean they’d eat a lot of things, but…

  28. Friar Says:

    @April

    A Gremlin in the microwave, or a SpongeBob?

    Equally scary, if you ask me. 🙂


  29. Friar,

    We’d need a controlled test environment. “Borrow” three identical microwaves — SpongeBob in the first, Gremlin in the second, and Peep in the third (‘cuz they’re just too much fun). Nuke ’em all and see which makes the most spectacular splat/ick…and then wipe our fingerprints off the microwaves and return them to their owners. I definitely would not want to be responsible for cleaning that up.

  30. Friar Says:

    @April

    You think like a scientist. I like that! 🙂


  31. EW! I wouldn’t eat it either!

  32. Friar Says:

    @Melissa

    I think this would be enough to scare kids off candy for good, and have them begging for raw broccoli and carrot sticks.

  33. liamdempsey Says:

    That just looks disgusting. I give you props for trying it — not sure that I would! It looks more like styrofoam than like candy.

  34. Friar Says:

    @Liamdempsey

    It TASTED like styrofoam too (with maybe a bit of sugar!)


  35. I’ve seen that — had no desire to eat it. Glad I didn’t break my teeth on it.


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