Forbidden Laughter: Times I’ve Laughed when I Shouldn’t Have.
If there is one thing that gets me going, it’s being in a quiet room, where everyone is solemn and serious, and proper behavior is EXPECTED.
That’s just ASKING for a Patented Friar-Induced Giggle Fit. Here are some of my more memorable ones:
If sitting through a boring Catholic Mass isn’t a recipe for disaster, I don’t know what is.
I’ve lost count at the times I’ve laughed in church.
How about rolling the church pamphlets into cylinders, and using them as a telescopes to look at my buddy across the auditorium?
Or as an Altar Boy, snickering while carrying in the cross in front of 200 parishioners? (YES! I was an Altar Boy once….DON’T LAUGH!)
But I especially remember the Gitchi Manitou episode.
Oboy, I’m going to burn in hell for THAT one.
Tabernac. Build a Big Mac
Ages ago, when I worked at McD’s, one of the shift mangers gave us a pep talk at a crew meeting.
But he was French-Canadian, so he had problems with certain words. He didn’t know to say tray or spatula, so he improvised with “take dah Bun-Shovel, and put de burger Hon it…“.
(Snicker!). BUN SHOVEL?
Alone, I would have been okay with that. But my partner in crime, Cliff, caught my eye across the room.
And that was the end of THAT.
Cliff and I fed off each other. We proceeded to giggle with each “Bun shovel”.
The thing is, the manager was a nice guy, and he was sincerely trying hard to do a good job, and speak his best English.
And we were being jerks.
And everyone else was listening so INTENTLY…so SERIOUSLY.
Which only made the forbidden laughter (pffft!) even funnier.
Bun shovel .
Take da burger, and put hit on de grill….with the spatule…(Snicker!..hahah).
Pfft. Hahahh! (Snicker).
Hopen de Door. With de Ot Hair.
It got to the point that all we had to do was LOOK at each other, and we’d start to lose it.
After 10-15 minutes, we were in tears, ready to piss our pants.
The Store Manager had to intervene. He furiously called the two of us outside, and read us the Riot Act, like we were a couple of five-year-old kids.
We tried to apologize, but it took quite a while to calm us down.
I’m amazed we weren’t fired on the spot.
(But who could blame us?)
Come on…how can you resist BUN SHOVEL..!?!?! 😀
When Stark Trek II (The Wrath of Khan) came out, I was somewhat less (ahem) mature than I am now.
So when I watched this in the theater, I was not exactly the best-behaved audience member.
I made fun of the bad acting. I mocked the special effects at every opportunity (getting constantly elbowed by my friends in the process, telling me to shut up).
Then, at the end of the movie, Spock died.
(At this point, I was already laughing so hard, I was on the verge of being thrown out of the theater).
But when they had the funeral scene, it sent me right over the edge.
It’s when Scotty took out the Bag Pipes.
No. Freaking. Way.
I just spent 2 hours watching star ships fire photon torpedoes at each other.
And now you’re making me watch James Doohan wear a KILT.
And (hmm-hmm pfft!)….play the freaking BAG PIPES!
You have got to be SHITTING ME!
Then Scotty started to blow, and out came the “Amazing Grace”
(Oooohhhh….I guess I’m supposed to be sad now). 😀
I vaguely remember repeating “BAG PIPES…???” over and over.
My friends kept shushing me, saying: “Friar….will you PLEASE SHUT UP!”
But I would have none of it.
I just kept laughing and laughing harder and harder.
BAG PIPES? BAAAAAG PIPES!!? (BWAHAHAH!)
Then, a strange thing happened.
A few more people in the theater started to giggle. Then a few more.
Soon the whole theater was guffawing, in an avalanche of laughter that I had triggered.
As we left the theater, my friend shook his head, and called me a KNOB.
He pointed out that if it had been ANY OTHER theater in the country, when Spock died, there wouldn’t’ have been a dry eye in the house.
But only you, Friar…ONLY YOU…can get the whole house laughing.
What was otherwise one of the saddest moments in the movie, turned into a comedy fest.
And I alone, was responsible.
It was one of my proudest moments.