Small-Town Radio Trivia Challenge

(Note:   No, I’m NOT kidding, folks.    These are pretty close approximations of actual calls I heard on the local radio station!)

small-time-radio

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“Hello, you’re on the air.”

“Oh, Hi!  Brad!   How are you doing?”

“Guhhhhhh-REAT!…Who’s this?”

“It’s Uncle Ti-Boc….I’d like to pick dat question about music”

“Okay…music.    What musician was charged with tax evasion in 1973?”

“Ohhhh…I don’t know….Hmmm….(silence)    Hey..it was dat guy…..him…who…who….dat guy….let’s see….was it dat guy… JERRY LEWIS?”

“No, I’m sorry….it WASN’T Jerry Lewis.  He actually WASN’T a musician.  The answer is Chucky Berry…CHUCK BERRY”.

“Oh…yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah….DAT was da guy.  Yeah yeah yeah,  Chuck Berry.   Hokay….tank you.      Bye now.”

“Thank you for calling”

*******************************************************

“Hello, you’re on the air.  Who is this?”

“It’s Jeanette.”

“I’m sorry, Jeanette, you already called in for Game Number One…you have to wait till Game Number Two begins, before you can call in again…”

“But…I didn’t get the question….For the game.   I had no question..(mumbles).  I was calling for the game, and you have to ask me something…but I didn’t get on…for the game question…”

“No, Jeanette…you already answered a question earlier this evening for game NUMBER ONE.   You have to wait till GAME NUMBER TWO starts, before you’re allowed to call in the second time”

“…But I called, for the game.  And the question, I didn’t get it..and I’m calling again…”

“No, Jeanette, we’re still on GAME NUMBER ONE.    YOU CAN”T CALL IN until GAME NUMBER TWO starts!

“Oh?  Really, but it’s the question I want to answer for the game”

“No…CALL BACK LATER, okay?”

“Oh, okay….Bye”.

*******************************************************

“Hello, you’re on the air…who is this?”

“Jackie Carcajou.   Hi there, Brad, how are you?”

“Guhhhhhh-REAT!  Which question would you like?”

“I’ll take songs from the 1970’s”

“Okay…which singer sang “Withering Heights”

“Oh…Gee,  I dunno….I’ve never heard of dat one.”

“Oh, I know.   That’s an obcure song.   I know there’s a book called “Withering Heights”.  I’ve never read it.   But  I know the book’s called by that name. But not too many people know the song”

“Can you SING it for me…?”

“Uhhh…well, no, not really (perplexed).    Usually, the Deejay doesn’t SING on the air….But I’ll play it for you if you like. ”

*******************************************************

“Okay…No more calls?  Going once…going twice.   No more calls?  ?  Okay…Game Number One is over.    I’m clearing the board, and it’s not time to start GAME NUMBER TWO.    Hello, you’re on the air…who is this?

“It’s Jeanette…how are you, Brad?

“Guhhhh-REAT!!!  Hi Jeanette….you’re ready for game number two now?

“Yes….I’ll take the donut.”

“Ahhh…yes, the “Donut” category.   Here’s the question:  What number of donuts to Americans eat every year?”

“Ohhh….(pause).  Oh (silence).  I don’t know…..”

“Would you like a multiple choice?”

“Ohhh..yes….give me the multiple choice”

“Okay…what number of donuts to Americans eat every year?  Is it (A) Ten billion?   (B) One billion?  (C) A million or (D) Five hundred thousand?

“I’ll take the third one”

“A million?  Is THAT your answer”.

“Yes, a million”

“No (sighing), that’s NOT the correct answer.    When you think of it, a million is pretty small.    There are what?   Four Hundred million people in the States…?  Don’t you think a million donuts for the whole year is a little bit low?

“Oh?   Okay.  Oh well, thank you, Bye.”

*******************************************************

“Hello, you’re on the air.   Who is this?”

It’s Nadine   How are you Brad?”

“Guhhhhh-REAT!!   Which question cateogory do you want”

“I’ll pick…um….nursery rhymes.  That one there.”

“Okay…who was the person who “kissed the girls and made them cry”?  ”

“Ohhh….I know that.   It’s on the tip of my tongue.    Porgy…”

“Nadine, you’ll have to give me the full name….who kissed the girls and made them cry?”

“Ohh…(pause).   Oh….I know..it’s that guy….Orgy….Porgy”

“No…Porgy is close….but I’ll need the full name”

“…Orgy-Porgy?  Is that it? “

“Sorry, it’s NOT Orgy-Porgy…you’ll need the FULL NAME.      Would you like to hear the multiple choice?”

Okayyyy….(pause) give me the multiple choice”.

“Okay…who kissed the girls and made them cry?   Was it:  (A)  Humpty-dumpty?  (B) Georgy-Porgy?  (C) The Easter Bunny? or (D) The Man in the Moon”

“Oh! That’s it…!!!  The third one, I think!    Georgy-Orgy!”

“Yes…you GOT IT!  The right answer is GEORGY-PORGY!   Congratulations, Nadine, you’re on the trivia board with ONE POINT”.

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15 Comments on “Small-Town Radio Trivia Challenge”

  1. Karen JL Says:

    Ah, good ol’ Georgy-Orgy at the Orgy-Porgy. He kissed LOTS of girls and made them cry.

    And a few guys.

    And possibly a sheep.

    (I dare ya to draw a picture of him. C’mon…dare ya.) 😉

  2. Brett Legree Says:

    That’s why I never listened to the radio in all my years of living here. I found the people who called into the radio talk shows in “The Big City” are dumb enough for me already… then again, I did live in The Hammer, which might explain things.

    Luckily I was able to find a web site that lists the school bus cancellations for snow so I don’t have to listen to Ti-boc and Carcajou while waiting for the bus report… 🙂

    If you don’t think Friar’s serious – all of these people work at The Factory.


  3. Oh, this is comedy. Pair it up with a few drinks, and you’ve got yourself a fun night in!


  4. Not totally unrelated:

    When I was in Hammy-Town a couple months ago, I was driving down to the Valley listening to KISS whatever-the-call-numbers-are in Toronto. They had a contest where you had to guess the song by hearing just the last note.

    It was fairly obscure, but I knew it. I didn’t have a cell phone though, and I wasn’t about to go hunting for a pay phone. No matter, someone else got it in minutes. It was “No One Knows” by Queens of the Stone Age — can’t believe I pulled it. And my son in the back couldn’t believe I was going on about it for the next hour…

    The funniest small-town radio shows I think are when the psychic comes to town. Suddenly everybody is on the verge of winning the lottery, everybody has lost something “behind the bureau”, and every second baby born is a boy. (Wait a second, isn’t that how it happens in real life, sort of ?)

    ~Graham

  5. Friar Says:

    @Karen

    I think half the people who call in the radio show are Georgy-Porgy’s.

    I’m going to have to figure out how to post a Georgy Porgy (I’ll need a better excuse than to say “Karen DARED me to draw one!” 🙂

    @Brett
    There are only three choices of radio to listen to at night while driving. I do the Small-Town Radio when I’m tired of the other two.

    It IS entertaining, you gotta admit.

    And YES…half these people work at our factory. 😮

    @Rebecca
    It’s funny…that’s EXACTLY what my buddy says he does with this dad. If they’re working on a project in the garage, they make sure they have a case of two-four, and they play the radio in the background, and laugh their asses off!

    @Graham
    I always like radio psychics. (If they’re so smart with lotteries, then howcum they’re not millionaires themselves?) 😉 People will believe anything!

  6. Karen JL Says:

    No, not a Georgy-Porgy. A Georgy-Orgy.

    Big difference.

    I see a mustache and lots of gold chains… 😉

    (Dare still stands)

  7. Friar Says:

    @Karen

    I’m getting visions of Sam from Trailer Park Boys. 😉

  8. Kelly Says:

    Friar,

    Orgy-Porgy had me ROFL and then I read Karen’s first comment.

    She stole your limelight, man.

    Funniest. Comment. Ever. I nearly fell off my chair. BWAH hahahahaha!

    And the visual in my head is just sick, so please draw Georgy-Orgy and make my own visual go away. You can’t do worse than I’m doing to myself. Er, you know what I mean.

    I feel bad for Jeanette. Pathetic thing. I never listen to that stuff. It scares me.

    Regards,

    Kelly

  9. Brett Legree Says:

    Orgy-Porgy sounds like some kind of group fornication you do with satanic oatmeal.

    Not that I know anything about Orgy-Porgy.

    Or sheep. Just because I want to live in New Zealand doesn’t mean I know anything about sheep.

    (Okay, they are tasty with mint sauce.)

  10. Karen JL Says:

    More like with pudding and pie.

    It gets messy.

    (Wee! I made Kelly crack up! If he doesn’t draw it, I may have to. But I’m busy…)

    And c’mon Brett, we know the *real* reason you want to move there. It’s all about the sheep. Fess up!

  11. Kelly Says:

    Karen,

    If you’re trying to say Friar’s *not* busy you are going to have trouble on your hands.

    Right after he gets back from drinking beerz with Brett.

    😉

    (And I’m still cracking up. If I didn’t have a little person I would frame that comment. L-O-L!!!)

    Until later,

    Kelly

  12. Friar Says:

    @Kelly and Karen
    Well…after all this build-up to Porgy-Orgy, whatever I draw now just won’t be able to live up to the expectations! (Too much pressure!)

    By the way, people like Jeannette aren’t that atypical here. The radio station is a perfect indication of the “Cultural Anthropology” of the region. 😉

    @Brett
    Sheep, raccoons, knot-holes in fence posts. It’s all good, in the in the Splat Creeek Valley 😉

  13. Karen JL Says:

    @ Kelly – Certainly not insinuating he isn’t busy. Of course he is…I think he’s writing about 27 eBooks thanks to us. 😉

    @ Friar – It’s all good. The images we all have in our heads could never match up to what we could draw. 🙂

    And knot-holes?!?

    That’s what I call ‘getting wood’.

    (Thank you, thank you…I’m here all night! Don’t forget to tip your waitress.)

  14. Friar Says:

    @Karen

    Getting wood… (Badda-BING…!)

    Oh, you are so ON tonight! 🙂

  15. Joe Says:

    Wow, the last comment was over a year ago. >_> Oh well! Our local small-town radio station had this trivia game called the “Impossible Question.” And this one day it was “How many stars are in Orion’s Belt?” The first caller was like “Uhhh I dunno… 16 billion?” I was like D:


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