Breakfast Cereal Haiku

cereal

 Just follow your nose.
Talking toucans make no sense.
Why is he British?

Apple Jack flavour.
The actual apples here:
Parts per million. 

Mean children don’t share.
Trix are for kids, they will tease.
Making Rabbit cry.

Oh, Captain, your food! 
Yes it stays crunchy in milk.
But it hurts the mouth.

Never has puffed wheat.
Ever been pursued so much.
By the Noble Bear. 

Catch the Leprechaun!
Steal his food which is not ours.
Children need spanking.

Bellowing Tiger,
I will buy your cereal.
Please do not eat me.

Pebble-shaped fruit rocks. 
That one cave man will forbid.
His friend from eating. 

For crying out loud.
Fred don’t be such an asshole.
Just give Barney some.  

Chocolate Vampire.
What happened to your Brother ?
Where’s FrankenBerry?

How can half-sugar
Be part of a Good Breakfast?
Help! Diabetes! 

The prize in the box
Compared to the cereal
Has more nutrition.

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23 Comments on “Breakfast Cereal Haiku”

  1. Amy Says:

    See dude? I knew you could do it. Hehehehehehehe.

    😉

  2. Brett Legree Says:

    Snap Crackle Pop Pop
    Rice Krispies are not that good
    They taste like old socks

  3. Friar Says:

    @Amy

    Just when I think I didnt’ have anything to write…I checked out your blog (talking about people worrying about not having anything to write). And I got inspired! 😉

    @Brett

    Three obnovious gnomes
    Making cereal explode
    Why don’t they shut up?


  4. This is so weird – I was thinking about haikus last night. In fact, I was thinking that I need to write some haikus. Guess this is a sign. You do believe in signs, don’t you Friar?

  5. Friar Says:

    @Melissa
    Mabye we’re part of one big Blog Collective…and our ideas and thoughts are synchronizing!

    It’s Amy’s fault. She started this haiku thing!

  6. Brett Legree Says:

    Now I’m fracking hungry! Need cereal…

  7. Friar Says:

    @Brett
    And adult cereal? Or a kids one?

    I have a craving for Lucky Charms myself. The marshmallow/cereal ratio is almost up to 1:1 by now.

  8. Kelly Says:

    Friar,

    You are the new Shel Silverstein. You should write a book!

    Push, push…

    😉

    Dang that’s some good stuff up there. Help! Diabetes! is hysterical! Love it.

    Regards,

    Kelly

  9. Friar Says:

    @Kelly

    WHO is Shel Silverstein?

    (Oh, never mind…I’ll just google it!)

  10. Friar Says:

    @Kelly

    Ohh….he’s the guy who wrote “The Giving Tree”.

    Okay…NOW I know who he is!

  11. veredd Says:

    I’m with Brett – you made me crave cereal. 🙂

  12. Friar Says:

    @vered

    Yeah, but you’re a Mom, so it would probalby be a high-fiber nutritious kind! 😉

  13. Karen JL Says:

    South Park Snack-E-S’mores.
    Should be a real cereal.
    Bet it would taste good.

  14. t.sterling Says:

    Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
    Best cereal of all time.
    Give me stomach cramps.

    I didn’t see that one listed so I made up my own… and it’s a true story. I love the stuff but my body doesn’t process it like when I was a youth.

    I think my local grocery area has or HAD Frankenberry and Boo Berry (if that’s what it’s called). I still remember the commercials but never seeing them in the store (until recently).

    Anyway, your Frosted Flakes and Captain Crunch were hilarious. I’d share my movies ones but that’d require me to look for them online. I’ll write new ones.

  15. Friar Says:

    @Karen

    Screw you guys…I’m goin’ HEWHM. 🙂

    @t
    Oh, I forgot about that one! (I thought I covered most of them)

    Yeah, I love those little bread-shaped cereal nuggets. (As IF it’s real toast!)


  16. Catch the Leprechaun!
    Steal his food which is not ours.
    Children need spanking.

    LOL. Why are we teaching kids to steal poor Lucky’s charms? It’s a form of abuse.

  17. Friar Says:

    @Rebecca

    Don’t know why Lucky puts up with all that crap. He just keeps using his magic to escape those pesky little brats.

    Maybe he should go on the offensive. Mabye create a magic T-Rex or Veloco-raptor to hunt down the kids. THAT would give the little shits something constructive to worry about (instead of trying to steal his cereal!) 😉


  18. ROFLMAO!!!! Yep, still laughing. You are SO the poet Friar. We have Amy to thank I am sure.

  19. Friar Says:

    @Janice

    Thanks….(I actually enjoyed putting these together!)

    But I STILL don’t consider myself a poet.

    I mean…if an illiterate dumb engineer like me can do this…how hard can it be? 🙂


  20. Exactly, Friar!

    He’s a MAGIC leprechaun, for goodness’ sake. Can’t he teach those thievin’ brats a lesson?

  21. Friar Says:

    @Rebecca

    And he should also also help his fellow Mascot (the Trix Rabbit) get back at those nasty kids, who never share their Trix.

  22. Steph Says:

    My guess is that children need spanking because of the sugary cereals they eat!!

    I’ve never even eaten most of the cereals up there. We always got homemade granola or muesli or Wheatabix.

    The very last one totally cracked me up!!

  23. Friar Says:

    @Steph
    I think the 5 hours of violent cartoons on Saturday morning added to the sugar cereal doesn’t help.

    By the way, my Mom recently bought some kind of Nutritious-looking muesli cereal from Costco. When I looked at the ingredients, it had almost 30% sugar! (Frosted Flakes would have been just as healthy!) 😀


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