The Amazing Friar’s Psychic Predictions for 2009
Hollywood will take an old comic strip or an old TV show, and it will be re-hashed into another tired old movie-remake.
Canadians will have one of the coldest winters in recent memory, and nobody will say anything. But there will a week-long heat wave in the summer, and all the Global Warming alarmists will suddenly start screaming.
There will be a Latest Gizmo (video game, cell phone, Ipod-thingy). Everyone will HAVE to have one, and they’ll be lining up outside stores overnight to get it. Six months later, the NEXT Latest Gizmo will come out, and the old Gizmo will be in the bargain bin at Wall-Mart.
“Twitter” will become obsolete, and will no longer be the “Cool Kids” blogging tool of choice. It will be replaced by something called “Tweedle” or “Twirtle”.
A hurricane will hit the Gulf Coast. A Fox News reporter will be out there, covering the event live, trying to talk to the camera in 90 mph horizontal winds.
A celebrity will say or do something really stupid, which will cause a scandal. North America will obsess on it for 2 weeks, and temporarily forget about the financial crisis or the problems in the Middle East.
Oprah may chose to invite said celebrity on her show, and publicly absolve them of their sins.
Even with Obama as the new president, half the planet will still still hate the U.S.
A blogger will write a touching post about their kids, causing a global estrogen-gush of joyful empathy from the Blogosphere.
More wind-farms will be built, thus reducing our dependence on non-renewable petroleum resources by 0.0001%
One of the Big Three auto makers will come up with a new Behemoth-SUV that gets 2 gallons per mile. Thus increasing our dependence on non-renewable petroleum resources by 5%.
A Newbie blogger will write a literary masterpiece and nobody will acknowledge it. A Cool Kid blogger will write about what jam they ate for breakfast and they’ll get 1450 comments.
The goverment will implement a tax-cut to help quell the financial crisis. This will be the equivalent each family being able to afford one additional large pizza a month.
China will somehow find a way to screw-up yet another consumer product, and there will be massive re-calls. (Possibly lead-based lip-balm, or baby food containing ground glass).
Madonna will change her image once more, to keep distracting us from the fact that she has no talent.
Simon Cowell will make someone cry on Americian Idol.
The Deep Friar will continue to make smart-ass posts like this one. 😉