Yes, we have NO Breakfast.

Some of you know I like to bitch about the local small town stores here.  But every once in a while, I’ll still give them the benefit of the doubt, and try to throw some business their way.   Support the local economy, you know.

Like this morning.  It was 11:30 and I went to eat breakfast at the Clueless Restaurant.   Even though I’ve gotten burned there before (they stop serving breakfast on Saturdays after 11:00 AM).

(God only knows WHY…).  But that’s besides the point.

But they’ve been under new management, and I know they extended their Sunday breakfast hours.

So heck, why not give it a shot?

No such luck.

Survey says: “ANNNNNNH!” (Insert obnoxious buzzer sound here).

When I walked in, they told me sorry, we don’t serve breakfast after 11:00.

Never mind that the Lunch Special was a FRIED EGG SANDWICH!  (Seriously, I can’t make this up, folks!)

They probably had club sandwiches too.

Meaning you could probably buy bacon, toast, and eggs.

Just apparently not all together.

The manager tried to reassure me that I can still get  “breaksfasty” things on the menu (whatever the f#%*  THAT means).    But she stuck to her guns, and said they don’t’ serve actual breakfast.

Sigh. I guess they didn’t want my money.  (Even though I was the ONLY customer there.)

Oh well.  I did what I usually do.

I went 400 yards down the road to their competitor:  The Normal Restaurant.   That WILL serve breakfast on weekends.   Till 4:00 PM, even.

And guess what?   I was eating hot breakfast within minutes.  And there were at least a dozen customers already doing the same.

There’s probably a moral to this story here….regarding which businesses will succeed and which ones will fail.

But I dont’ think Clueless Restaurant could (or would) listen to it.

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16 Comments on “Yes, we have NO Breakfast.”

  1. Brett Legree Says:

    I have an idea for you Friar.

    Go back in tomorrow, after breakfast hour is over.

    Order breakfast. When they tell you they don’t serve breakfast, order a fried-egg sandwich or a toasted western, and a clubhouse sandwich.

    Get a side of fries with it, and a coffee.

    Ask for an extra plate.

    Proceed to disassemble the two sandwiches into eggs, bacon, toast and cut the fries into smaller pieces = homefries.

    Call the server over and say, “Et voila! Breakfast!”


    Leave a penny for a tip.

    Write about your experiences on this blog, and in the Splat Creek Herald.

  2. t.sterling Says:

    My breakfasty plans were ruined today too. But I was aware of it a few days ago. A brand new IHOP was supposed to open today, but it’s been pushed to Tuesday, so I had no reason to wake up. However I did end up making waffles. It’s my new thing lately to cut back on my usual eggs and bacon.

    @Brett, that’s hilarious. I’d almost want to try that too, but fortunately most diners I frequent don’t have such issues and know how to please their customers.

  3. Brett Legree Says:


    Probably just about every diner on the planet *except* for the ones in the Splat Creek region don’t have issues like this.

    There are some businesses that go above and beyond. We do have some people here who get it. The variety store, for example. If the power is out, the owner still opens the store. He has emergency lights and he just uses a calculator and paper – he gets it. Most other businesses can’t seem to function without an electric cash register, so they lose out.

  4. Friar Says:


    Didn’t Jack Nicholson do something like that in a movie somewhere 😉

    Ohhhh…in IHOP!!!! I’ve heard about those…I’d LOVE to try one out. (Unfortunately, they haven’t made their way up to Canada yet!).

    I needed my cardiac breakfast today. I just came back from 2 hours of cross country skiing in the cold. You can’t do that kind of exercise on just yogurt and granola.

  5. Friar Says:


    PS. My Mom DID leave a penny tip, once. (Not at this restaurant, but the other one down the road…).

  6. Betsy Says:

    You’d think with a recession and all people would be falling all over themselves to keep their jobs and their businesses open. But no……. Seriously, just posted on some adventures in customer service ourselves. With the funeral and all this week, we were in NO mood. Not that we’d be normally, either. 🙂

  7. Friar Says:


    Like Brett can attest to…this seems to be a phenomenon unique to Splat Creek. You go to other restaurants down the road, in even smaller towns, and it’s not like this.

    Well, now I’m going to have to go check our YOUR customer service post! 😉

  8. Kelly Says:


    Ah, the pathetic Cluelesses of the world. Driving themselves out of business. Who are you in business for??

    I’m no fan of penny tips, and that scene in Five Easy Pieces makes me cringe, so I’m glad you went down the street.

    Maybe, just maybe, they’ll get the point as they watch the place down the street fill up at an hour when they’re empty.


    In the meantime, they’re fair game for The Deep Friar. 🙂



  9. Friar Says:


    Welcome to STO (Small Town Ontario).

    If they haven’t caught on in the last 30 years…why would they catch on any time soon?

    Makes you wonder, though…why was the Clueless Restaurant under new management in the first place?

    I would LOVE to see some new blood come to town. Actually, there’s a new coffee shop/restaurant/pizza place. And they seem to “get it”. SO there’s hope.

    Like Brett says, there ARE businesses here that go above and beyond. And those are the places I’ll make an effort to frequent. Sadly, they’re the exception, not the rule.

    In the mean time, there’s lots of comedy material for the Deep Friar to write about 😉

  10. Ram Venkatararam Says:

    Why must we pick on small business owners like myself? I own a convenience store and can tell you that after working a 112 hour work week the only pleasure i get is messing with the heads of the idiots who shop here. It is the only power we have!!! Next time you want breakfast, come to my store and I will sell you one egg if the day starts with a T of an F an if it is between the hours of 1 and 3:15 p.m. If not, you can have a pack of smokes and a six of bud like everyone else.

    Thanks for you ear. I am not well at the moment. I have boils

  11. Friar Says:


    I’m not picking on small business owners. I’m picking on small business owners that provide crummy service! 😉

    Sorry about…boils. Hope they get better.

  12. The “special” was a fried egg sandwich, seriously?

    They need a bit of a rethink on that one. Bizarre. You’d think they would be a bit more open to change if it is new management. Doesn’t sound like they will be there for long though.

  13. Brett Legree Says:

    @the three dog blogger,

    Sadly, it won’t matter. People will still go anyway, because of limited choices (when the good restaurant is full, where do you go?)

    And. If you try to open a new one in town, you’d better be friends with the right people – or no licence for you.

  14. Ram Venkatararam Says:

    Sorry if I went off a little on my prior comment. Long week. And there is this kid with a matrix t-shirt and pet rat that keeps coming in and trying to steal almond joy bars. You get the idea. Anyway, sorry and thanks for your reply.

  15. Friar Says:

    @three dog blogger

    Yeah…exactly what Brett said. We have a bunch of merchants here who’ve held a monopoly for the past 30 years. And the townsfolk have become so conditionned to bad service, nobody bothers to complain.

    (Except people like me, who then later get in trouble for it!) 😉

    Yeah….if you want to run a business here, better get in good with the Good Ol’ Boys club! 🙂

    Hey, no problem.

    Sounds like you got more than your fair share of wing-nut customers to deal with.

    If it’s any consolation, the guy who runs our town’s convenience store is really great. (See Brett’s earlier comment, above)

  16. XUP Says:

    Some places in Ottawa don’t even open until 11:30 for breakfast. I’m not a big fan of their either.

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