How I Divorced my Old Ski Boots, and Found a New Sole-Mate



See these ski boots?  They’re mine.   We’ve been together for three years.

They’re not the prettiest boots in the world.   They’re not always the most comfortable.   And they leak water, despite the duct-tape. 

But they’re mine.   We’ve been through a lot together.   And I wouldn’t trade them for any other boots in the world.  

This isn’t my first long-term relationship with a pair of ski boots.   Back in the late 80’s, I was married to another pair, and we were together for almost 10 years.  

 Those old boots kept my feet dry and warm.  They nurtured me and provided support when I needed it.    They helped me negotiate all kind of peaks and valleys, under all kinds of conditions.

We were a perfect fit.  I loved those old boots.   Ah, those were the salad days.

But then things CHANGED.

Maybe it was me.  Maybe my arches flattened.   Or maybe it was the boots.  Maybe the plastic shell stopped being flexible, or the inner lining lost its support.  

Looking back now,  it really doesn’t matter WHO was at fault.  But things had changed.   We were no longer compatible.   My feet started to cramp.   And it started to affect my skiing.

I tried everything.  I tried to control the boots, buckling them up really tight.   I unbuckled them totally, giving them free reign.   I tried extra socks.  I tried no socks at all.   I tried removing the in-sole.  But nothing worked.  

My feet continued to cramp like burning fire.  I’d almost be in tears at the end of a ski run.   There were times I just needed to get away…and I’d take the boots off on the bottom of the ski hill,  and literally stand barefoot in the snow to ease my pain.

What do you WANT from ME!?“, I’d yell out. 

But the boots wouldn’t answer.   They just continued their silent torment.  

God, I hated them.

In hindsight,   I realize I was in denial.  This was an abusive relationship, and I needed to get out.  

 I don’t  know why I waited so long to leave.   Perhaps it the fear of financial risk  (could I afford a new pair?).   Or fear of the unknown (what if I can’t find another pair?). 

But leave, I finally did.    I got a divorce.  

The ski seasons that followed were a bit difficult.   I had a short-term relationship with someone else’s divorced boots.  They were adequate…they fulfilled my needs to some extent.  But they weren’t MY boots.   There was just too much baggage,  and  I just didnt’ feel the connection.  

Then, a few years ago, I decided to start dating again.   I went to a few ski shops and tried on different pairs.

Some boots where homely and plain.   Some were all glitz and chrome, but had no substance.    Some were out of my league.    Nothing seemed to click.   I was resigned to being an unhappy bootless skier.

But one day, I tried a dating service.  A ski shop technician introduced me to my sole-mate.

It wasn’t necessarily love at first sight.   The new boots and I went out for a while, to see how it would work out.   I wore them for a few hours in the store.  We spent a weekend together, when I brought them home to wear around the house.  

There didn’t seem to be any problems, so I took the plunge and  made the final commitment.  I shelled out $600 and once again, I was married to a pair of boots.  

Not that things have  always been perfect.   Especially in the first year we were together.    When I took them to the ski hill, I still had cramps.    But this being my 2nd marriage, I was a bit older and wiser, and had learned from my previous mistakes.  

We went to counselling.   The ski-shop technician popped out some of the plastic to make more room for my feet.  I shelled out $100 for fancy arch supports, even though they didnt’ work.   

We went back for more counselling.   More therapy.  I learned which socks worked, and which didn’t.  Which buckles had to be kept loose, which ones had to be tightened.

Then there was some water leakage, but I learned to accept it.    I couldn’t force the boots to be what they weren’t.   Some things are more important, like both of us accepting and being comfortable with each other.

After lots of trial and error, and a bit of compromise from both of us,  I’m happy to report that this relationship is working.   I’m back to enjoying my skiing again, like I used to in the old days.   Thanks to my new boots.

Ah, yes.  My new boots.

Thank you for being YOU.

I’m in it for the long haul, this time.

I hope you’re the last pair I ever own.

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25 Comments on “How I Divorced my Old Ski Boots, and Found a New Sole-Mate”

  1. AT $600 a pop, I should hope they’re the last pair you own too!

    (This was so freakin’ funny – thanks 🙂

  2. Kelly Says:


    The duct tape! OMG it’s Red Green Goes Skiing!!

    Psst. Always go with “unbuckled totally.” Even if it doesn’t work long-term, you’ll have a wild ride to look back on. 😉



  3. Friar Says:

    Actually, if I really wanted to, I could have paid even more ($800 plus) for “Trophy” Boots. But those were out of my league.

    But you know me…I’m not into materialism…I went for the less expensive pair, because they had more personality and compatibility. 😉

    Red Green is my hero. You can never go wrong, with duct-tape.

    I often ski with my boots unbuckled anyway. I’ve learned to adapt to it. If you have good balance, it can be done.

    My Dad was a serious ski instructor. When he saw how I skied this way, it drove him crazy!

  4. Kelly Says:


    Yes, I adore Red Green. Nothing makes me howl like a half an hour of that dude.

    & hehehe

    It wasn’t the boots I was talking about, darlin’.

    Until later,


  5. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Hoe Lee Chit. Friar has lost it.

    Get out more, stay in more. Drink more, less.

    Dude, you need therapy.

    Nice post by the way.


  6. Brett Legree Says:


    Friar missed his Thursday night therapy session with the Father, as you can see 🙂 either that or some BC Bud fumes got him heh heh

    (I agree – kick ass post Friar, very cool.)

  7. Note to self: NEVER read Friar in mid sip of wine. ROFLOL.

    Vacation agrees with you.

  8. Friar Says:


    Oh….BEHAVE! 🙂

    Well, I’m glad you liked this post. The other day, I wasn’t funny and I know that disappointed you.

    SEE what happens when I don’t vent with beer on Thursdays with you?

    I thought this post was allright…but you can hear the crickets chirping. I don’t think this one was very popular with the readers. Mabye you have to be a skier to appreciate this, or somethin’.

    Never eat while reading me, either. You could choke.

    And make sure you have thick walls (Kelly’s always getting her neighbours upset with her guffaws).

  9. Steph Says:

    Friar: Naw, this post was HILARIOUS! And I’m totally not into skiing. It takes a good writer to make people read about something irrelevant to them. It’s just that people aren’t reading as much lately or something. No biggie. The post was very good!

  10. Friar Says:


    Thanks…I thougth this post was not too bad. Mabye I should have changed the title to “Applying SEO to get the most out of your ski boots” ! 😉

  11. Brett Legree Says:


    Yeah – you’ll have to drink *twice* as much beer when you return…

    Probably the best name for the post would have been “Bob Dylan and SEO – what they can do for your ski boots”

  12. Steph Says:

    Guys: LOL!!!

    PS. You don’t need that stuff to get readers, my dears.

  13. Friar Says:


    I dunno….I think mabye I do. People arent’ exactly breaking lining up to read this post.

    Maybe I should stop fighting it. Maybe I should just stop writing original stories…and I’ll just talk about SEO and blog about how to blog.

    I bet you THAT would increase my traffic! 😉

  14. Kelly Says:


    Say it ain’t so! Are you becoming addicted to your stats?

    I thought you were committed to being the anti-establishment blogger. Laissez-blah and all that.

    Don’t worry. You have what you need—devotees. The numbers will follow.



  15. Sheesh, next thing, he’ll want an entourage and to sit at Paris Hilton’s table.

  16. Kelly Says:

    I want an entourage.

    And *never* to sit at Paris Hilton’s table.

  17. LOL-

    Do we get to pick who is in our entourage? Cause I think at least two of them should be kind of hunky… you know for opening doors and all.

  18. Kelly Says:

    Hunky… Vince Vaughn? Clive Owen?

    Maybe a bit sportier, so they don’t strain anything opening the door? David Beckham? Tom Brady?

    Heck, they can all open doors for me. Now that’s an entourage.

  19. Friar Says:

    Oh, I’m going to write, regardless of who reads my posts.

    I’m just constantly puzzled. Silly blurbs I might crank out might get 50 comments. And other carefully-thought-out stories get marginal views. I just can’t figure out the correlation between writing quality and viewer traffic.

    But you’re right…I have more fun with my 10-15 hard-core devotees (including yourself) than if I had 600 viewers.

    Hmmm…can I get someone a little less skanky than Paris Hilton?


    I want an entourage too. I’d call them my “Friar-ciples”. 🙂

  20. Friar-ciples…”That’s Hot” ( snickers )

    Kelly, yeah, along those lines. You’re so thoughtful, sporty would really be considerate… so Vince and Owen, you know, wouldn’t strain anything.

  21. Kelly Says:


    On traffic—I hear you. And in spite of trying not to peek at stats or take comments or the lack too seriously, I’m afraid I do notice also. But you were my antihero, and now that’s all wrecked, darn it. 😉

    Oh, and thx for the love. (My devotees rock, too.)

    I am not even going to try to guess who’d be in your entourage. Okay, I am guessing. But I wish I weren’t.





  22. Friar Says:


    You and Janice are among my biggest devotees. No doubt you’d probably be the President and Secretary/Treasurer of the Deep Friar Fan Club.

    (But sorry, if I wasn’t an Anti-Hero enough). I’ll try to be more rebellious.

  23. Mark F. Says:

    Pinkie’s rule of skiboots: The more you pay for ’em, the better it feels when you take ’em off. 😉

    But seriously, $600 is not a lot to pay for a pair of skiboots in the advanced/expert category. I purchased the pair I have now in 1999 for $750 and am still happily married to them, although the inner boot is starting to show signs of age — much of this is from removing and reinstalling the inner boot so that it dries properly (and to enjoy the “distilled spring water” that collects between the inner and outer boot ;-)). Pinkie never starts the day with a pair of boots that are wet inside from the day before — a sure recipe for cold feet. And some of you thought that I bring my hair dryer on a ski trip for my hair?!

  24. Duane Says:

    I think your problem is that the boots you want to wear are out of your league.They are to high class or high maintenance for you. You should try dating boots in the 200-300$ range. These boots are easier to please. They would probably prefer some polyester socks over angora or cashmir.

  25. Friar Says:

    I have that esxacty same problem…my boots get wet (I have to remove the liners and drain the water out, each and every time).

    Of course, I run the risk of the liner going in not-quite-right, and then I get cramps. So I’m constantly torn between leaving the boots as they are (with wet feet). Or dry them out and risk cramps.

    Sigh. It’s not the perfect marriage. But it’s workable.

    Oh, I dunno.

    I don’t think we should lower our self-esteem, and just “Settle” for something, because we don’t think we’re worthy.

    I want the boots I DESERVE, not the ones I know I can get.

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