I wish I had a nickel for every blog I read that…
…gives me a list of “tips” on how I can improve my life.
Seems everyone’s an expert on the subject, except me.
…kicks me in the arse, because I haven’t self-actualized and fulfilled all my dreams yet.
(Because like I said, everyone’s an expert on how to run my own life, except me). What they don’t mention is: it really helps to have a spouse or significant other who holds down a day job, allowing you to sit at home all day and blog.
…tells me how easy it is to make money blogging
Notice nobody ever says how MUCH money they make, or how many hours they have to put in to earn it? (Methinks if it sounds too good to be true, it probably IS).
…posts a cutesy photo of their kids,
Which of course will trigger an avalanche of estrogen, as adoring moms come out of the woodwork, and gush over how adorable the little rug-rat is.
…is a link post
Always a sure winner, when someone doesn’t know what to write about on their own.
…cites a famous quote
Why do we constantly obsess over what everyone ELSE has said? Can’t we think on our own? Just because someone’s a millionaire, or a dead poet, doesn’t necessarily mean their word is as good as gold. (How do we know these people didn’t beat their dog or were addicted to Meth or something?)
…states the blatantly obvious, and passes it off as wisdom
I really love it when bloggers feel they need to explain “No-Duh” things, like “eating and sleeping properly is important”. And then everyone else chimes in at how wonderful this new-found information is.
Thank you…(sob). THANK YOU!
How did we EVER survive before Blogo-Land was around impart these pearls of wisdom to us?
What next? Remember to continue to keep breathing to sustain life?
…moves someone to tears
20 years ago, seems people only cried at weddings or funerals. Nowadays, all it takes is for someone quote a few lines from a poem, and then WAAAHHH! Watch the Kleenex fly!
If we ever had to fight the equivalent of World War II again, this time, I think we’d lose.
It’s the latest Flavor-of-the-Month. (Notice we hardly hear about S.E.O. anymore?)
Aren’t there any Meat-Eaters anymore?
…tells me how to write, but never provides any actual examples.
God forbid, should we ever see an original short story or some poetry.
…blogs about how to blog.
Boy. Talk about a self-fulfilling hobby.
…sells an E-book, which tells you how to make money by selling E-books
(Ponzi would be proud).
…encourages professional wannabees.
Sorry. Just because you can string together 250 words on what the cat puked up for breakfast does not necessarily make you a WRITER. Neither does posting lame-ass digital photographs make you a PHOTOGRAPHER. (I think it takes a little bit more than that consider yourself a professional).
…takes itself way too seriously
Seems that for every funny blog, there’s about fifty that are not. We’re so damned busy coaching and inspiring each other, we’ve forgotten our sense of humor. We need to lighten up and LAUGH! (Life’s too short!)
…bitched about other blogs, as much as The Deep Friar does.
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Tags: blogging, how to blog, inspiration, link post, rant, SEO, spoof, twitter
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