A slice of grease.

This is the third installment of my watercolor junk-food still-lifes.

A generic slice of pepperoni from a forgettable franchise:  this wasn’t great pizza,  but it was the only place within a 40-minute drive that sells it by the slice.

From an artistic point of view, it would have better to get a slice of all-dressed.    The extra browns and greens from the peppers and mushrooms would have enhanced the bi-color red/yellow palette.

But this is Splat Creek.    The sidewalks roll up early (even at 6:45 PM).   So apparently it’s not worth selling more than one type of pizza-by-the-slice, even during peak supper time.

god-awfuls-pizza

Still, it made for a decent breakfast.    Any cold pizza out of the fridge tastes good the next day.

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40 Comments on “A slice of grease.”

  1. Brett Legree Says:

    Dammit, now I’m hungry again.

    Yeah, that place doesn’t make the best pizza. However, you know what they say about pizza (you do know, don’t you?)

    Pizza is like sex, even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.

  2. Karen Swim Says:

    Friar, I love what you’re doing with the watercolors, makes me want to paint. Even though it is not dressed I like the way you captured the texture. I can almost imagine the taste.

  3. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Oh goody, paintings of food again. NEXT!

  4. Friar Says:

    @Brett
    Yeah..I’ve never really met a pizza I couldn’t eat.

    @Karen
    Yeah..everyone in art class says they were getting hungry.

    Wish the pepperonis were above the cheese, though, to make a more interseting painting.

    @Eyeteaguy
    Well…if you don’t like what I paint…why don’t YOU post one of YOUR paintings on your blog, and show us all how it’s done?

  5. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I don’t paint food, I eat it.
    I don’t paint scenery, I hike and bike through it.
    If you want to reproduce something from the real world, take a picture. This is why cameras were invented.

    Your cartoons are great, funny and unique. Can’t touch that. (Cue MC Hammer)

    Eyeteaguy

  6. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Wee Friar

    You misread Eyeteguy’s comment. He enjoyed your painting. He said “Oh goody” and he’s anxiously awaiting the NEXT painting.

    I think you should paint Kentucky Fried Chicken. Is there a franchise at Splatt Creek?

  7. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Friar. Have I ever mentioned how much I like your Mom, she should work for the UN, there would be peace around the world.

    Mrs. Friar, please run for office, I’d vote for you. Heck, I’d run your campaign!

    Eyeteaguy

  8. Brett Legree Says:

    @Eyeteaguy,

    At least people are more likely to listen to Friar’s Mom.

    No one ever listens to the UN.

    Cameras were invented so that people could become part of the “vacation-Borg” and spend their entire vacations as cybernetic organisms.

    Then, when they return, instead of telling you about the great experiences they had, they will sit you down and show you 10,000 photos of stuff that they *didn’t actually see* because they were watching it through the viewfinder of a digital camera…

    I think digital cameras are okay, by the way – for people with self-control.

    Most people should be forced to use 35mm cameras – why?

    Because you actually have to *plan* your shots. You make mistakes if you don’t, and even then, you sometimes do.

    You have to pay to develop your film, and you have to wait. It’s like a surprise.

    You also are more likely to SEE the sights when you’re on vacation!!!

  9. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I have a crappy memory so I need to take pictures.

    But back to painting. I like paintings…. of things that you can’t take a pictures of.

    For example. I have a painting I bought from a very good artist. Its of a vally in the Gatineau region. He took a picture of it in summer then painted the scene when its snowing. He had to, for if he tried to paint the actual scene when it was snowing…. it would be all white. And the scene had too many big trees in the foreground so he removed them.

    Anyway, I digress.

    If people like your paintings of food, well then there you go, who am I…..

    Eyeteaguy

  10. Brett Legree Says:

    @Eyeteaguy,

    Oh, of course – some pictures are necessary, and can help you talk about your experiences to your children, for instance – you know the kind of people I mean, who go on a 3-day weekend excursion to Sauble Beach and take 600 photos.

  11. Karen Swim Says:

    @Friar, of course I will talk endlessly about pizza but never eat it. Yesterday my bro asked me to order pizza for him to pick up on his way home. Here’s our convo:
    Me: Is the pizza good there?
    Him: Oh my god, it’s delicious
    Me: Why didn’t you ever tell me about it?
    Him: WHAT FOR You never eat pizza!
    Me: Still, you coulda told me.

    Ha, now I have officially made my first hijack post, learned from the best! 🙂

  12. veredd Says:

    I love pizza for breakfast.

  13. Karen JL Says:

    @ Karen – You gotta go WAY more off-topic for a proper hijack. Like talking about tourists on 3 day vacations taking 600 photos.

    (pizza? what pizza?)

    Yeah, kinda like that. 😉

  14. Karen Swim Says:

    @Karen JL, darn! I knew I should have talked about Gorillas, or alligators…

  15. Brett Legree Says:

    Of course it was 600 photos of inflatable gorillas with big bananas, eating lobster sandwiches.

  16. Karen JL Says:

    I think I’ve been on that vacation…

  17. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Or talk about tea cosy’s on a blog about Viking holidays. (see previous post)

    Eyeteaguy

    Only 600? They make bigger CF cards than that don’t they?

  18. Brett Legree Says:

    I figured 600 was a good number, for the people who a) always leave the flash on and, b) don’t bring the charger!

  19. Friar Says:

    @Friar’s Mom
    Yes…Eyeteaguy ENJOYED my pizza-painting. Yes…THAT must be it! 😉

    As for KFC…sigh. None around here, within a 40 minute drive (EVERYTHING’s a 40 minute drive, to the next town that has anything decent).

    @Eyeteaguy
    Yeah, but some people like to paint, even though they can take a picture.

    Kinda like kids like to build model cars. Why build a pre-assembled scale model of sports car, when you can put together the pieces by itself?

    Besides, a painting isn’t always supposed to be realistic like a photo…this was my IMPRESSION of what a slice of pizza looked like. Take ten people, have them paint the same thing..and you’ll get ten different results.

    @Brett
    Sometimes, too much technolgy is not always good.

    Just because it’s possible to take infinite photos, doesn’t necessarily mean one SHOULD.

    Bet you people planned their photos even more rigoursly in the 1850’s, when they had to take 1 hour exposures on huge glass plates.

    Karen
    Ohhh…come on! Stop living vicariously through others. Live dangerously, and order a pizza YOURSELF! 😉

    @vered
    Yeah…straight out of the fridge. There’s something about cold pizza and mornings that goes together so well.

    @Karen JL
    Yeah…way to coach Karen Swim!

    @Karen Swim
    Listen to Karen JL…she’s an expert hijacker.

  20. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy
    If you ask Friar’s Mom nicely, I bet you she’d knit you a tea-cosy for your tea-cup.

    She’s done stuff like that before.

    @Brett
    600? That’s nothing.

    A few years ago, my folks went on a three-week vacation to Poland. They had 2 cameras between them.

    They came back with 3500 photos.

    If you do the math, that’s an one photo about every 8.6 minutes. Round the clock.

    More often, if you take into account sleeping and eating.

  21. steph Says:

    Pizza tonight. Inspiration: “A slice of grease” by Friar.

    The dough is rising as we speak and I sent C out for the ingredients I don’t have.

    I love this series!!

  22. Brett Legree Says:

    Yeah. I like tech as much as the next guy (who am I kidding, I love tech more than anyone I know!) but sometimes… the old ways are the best. Just because (say) we *can* edit a document 10,000 times doesn’t mean we *should* do that.

  23. steph Says:

    PS. Ever since I learned how watercolours are done, especially the white, I have an even deeper appreciation for your talent, Friar!

  24. Patricia Says:

    I love pizza – it was harder to give up than chocolate and soda….so when I picked a new cookbook for myself I found one that had caramelized onions with goat cheese pizza on the 3rd page – it is so yummy I can gush about it and do not feel like I am missing out on anything…

    I love to watch people paint..it must be a form of prayer….I don’t wish to have a slice of pizza on my wall right now…too hard on a pizza lover…!

  25. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Eyeteaguy

    You missed the point of Friar’s Junk Food installments. Friar has painted trees, mountains, oceans, and landscapes in all seasons, at infinitum. He can take artistic license and diddle with the colours and composition, if he so desires.

    However, he needs something to further challenge his artistic abilities; hence, he’s attempting to paint fast food. The Grand Masters painted food; however, they resorted to fruit, flowers, cheese, and occasional veggies. I’m sure if they had access to fast food they too would paint what Friar paints.

    It’s a real challenge for Friar. He can’t take artistic license with food; otherwise the finished product would not appear edible. His pizza looks like a plain tomato pepperoni pizza, and therein is the challenge.

    @ Wee Friar

    I have an interesting idea. Why not take artistic license, and have your pizza hanging over a table edge, and a tree branch, like Salvador Dali’s Persistence of Time. Wouldn’t that be a challenge?

    @ Brett

    A dozen years ago, my husband and I traveled and camped in New Zealand. He loved his new 35 mm camera so much he took 33 roles of film. I kid you not. If someone asked to see photos of our trip, I took out the huge pile and asked “How many inches of photos would you like wade through?” Digital photography physically takes less room.

    @ Patricia

    I can’t watch Wee Friar paint. I know my presence makes him nervous. And if I make a comment, well that’s the end of that painting. Artists are tempermental when they paint.

  26. Brett Legree Says:

    Oh of course, digital photos do take up much less room so that is a plus.

    How long did you spend on your vacation? 33 rolls of 36 exposure film is only 1188 pictures, so unless you only went for 4 days you’re not approaching the mythical 600 photo weekender I mentioned above!

    (Plus, in my opinion having been in New Zealand myself, it is more photogenic than Sauble Beach. No offense meant to any Sauble Beach fans…)

    I also think digital photography takes some of the magic out of it.

    Too easy to just take a million pictures (or even shoot a video and pick the best frame), and then edit later.

    Plus, unless you print them out (which isn’t the same, to me), there’s no physical interaction with them.

    It’s the same idea as reading an e-book on a computer screen, vs. holding a real book in your hands.

  27. Patricia Says:

    Artists can be temperamental. My husband likes to be in the center of all activity, have it quiet except for Classical music playing….never happens so he rarely paints any more….

  28. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Friar can interpret visual reprsentations of food AND keep tea warm. I wrapped a tea towel around the cup and put a lid on it. 10 minutes later, still nice and hot!

    Friar for Hire, I think you have found a niche market! I think Kelly can help you get a business plan together.
    Eyeteaguy

  29. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Brett

    Sauble Beach wins.

    We were in NZ for 5 weeks. It seems we were always stopping to buy more film.

    Then there was our trip to Poland 4 years ago. My husband went digital and every day he’d search for photo shop to download his photos. I don’t know how many thousands he took. But at least they weren’t printed.

    The only photo that means anything to me is the one of my husband and his sister standng in front of the one-bedroom tiny derelict home which his dad had built by hand, and in which my husband was born.

    I removed one of the original small windows and brought it back to Canada with the intentions of framing some stained glass.

  30. Friar Says:

    @Steph
    Heheh. I inspired you and C to eat pizza? AWESOME! 😀

    It’s kinda satisfying when my artwork influences someone (even in a very small way like what to eat for supper).

    That wasnt’ my original intent. I just paint for myself because it’s fun. But if someone gets inspired, that’s just an added bonus.

    @Patricia
    Don’t worry, I think your gourmet carmelized onions/goat cheese was MUCH BETTER than this slice of franchise pizza with rubber cheese.

    I bought it for something to paint. When I want a pizza to eat for real, I go elsewhere.

    @Friar’s Mom
    Hard to hang a pizza over something in the church community hall. Maybe I’ll have to do that on my own somewhere.

    And yes..I DO get nervous when you watch me paint. Because YOU get nervous. You grit your teeth, roll your eyes, and and sharply inhale, each time you think I’ll make a mistake. Which is like every 60 seconds.

    That’s okay…you dont’ have to watch me anymore. And I always let you see the finished product. 🙂

    @Brett
    I took a 2-hour scenic flight around Denali. My girfriend at the time ended up taking 9 rolls of film (at 36 photos each). It was totally STUPID. She even set the high-speed option, to go “Click click click” and take one photo after another, even though it took us sevearl minutes to fly over any one scene.

    It was contagious, though. I ended up taking 4-5 rolls myself. Looking back at my photo album, I could easily have done without 3/4 of all the photos.

    @Eyeteaguy
    Glad to hear your tea stayed hot. Hey, I didn’t study heat transfer and thermodynamics all those years for nothin’.

    Actually, I’m quite pleased. This is the most practical use I’ve gotten out of my Chemical Engineering Degree in over 18 months. (I’m not kidding either…I wish my job was this “technical”).

    @Friar’s Mom

    I think that window is awesome.

    Folks, there is an old black and white photo of that house in Poland in the 1930’s. That my Grandfather had built with his own hands. Before his kids were born. Before the War. Before he immigrated here. And my parents went back years later, to see the SAME house.

    Would he ever have imagined back then, that his 65-year old son and daughter-in-law would come back and take a piece of window back with them to Canada, 70 years later?

  31. Beth Partin Says:

    Friar, I am really liking this series of yours. Have you tried showing them at a local coffee

    I liked your mother’s idea about the food and the tree branch.

  32. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Eyeteaguy

    Do you actually drink tea from a cup? Do you use a saucer and hold your pinky outstretched? The guys I know drink their tea from mugs.

    I have never knit or crocheted a tea cosy for a tea pot, but it might be fun to make a cosy for a mug.

    Bet you I’m the only person who ever knit a pair of Nanoo, Nanno gloves. They’re three-fingered gloves. Remember Mork from Ork?

  33. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Brett

    You seem to know a lot about blogging. Is there a term for blogging comments which migrate from one post and continue on a subsequent one?

    Our tea cosy discussion has wandered from Viking post to Pizza post.

  34. Kelly Says:

    Friar’s Mom:
    http://www.craftleftovers.com/patterns/knitteacozy.pdf

    For when you’re bored with gorgeous BC and you want to knit something nutty. You are at least as fine a googler as I, though, so you probably already know lots of people have tackled the bizarre question of a tea cozy for cups and mugs. I just had a hilarious five minutes discovering that there truly is nothing new under the sun.

    Friar,

    This train left the station so long before I got here, there’s no hope of a serious comment. Good thing I already told you how much I liked the painting earlier. 🙂

    & the cheese on top is nice. Gave you more texture to work with, and made the pepps less like polka-dots.

    & I have to be totally desperately munchy to eat cold pizza. Like, not since college kind of desperate. *shivers*

    Regards,

    Kelly

  35. Friar Says:

    @Friar’s Mom
    I remember those. They werent’ gloves. They werent’ mitts. You called them “Glits”.

    @Kelly

    Sounds like you and the kid should order pizza. One too big to eat at once, so you’ll be guaranteed leftovers in the morning!

  36. Friar Says:

    @Beth
    Unfortunately, our town, despite it’s small size, has quite a saturation of artists. The little coffee shop here is quite full of paintings and photos.

    I’m already hanging in the other town, though (But no one’s buying anything)!

  37. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Glits, I love it.

    And I have no idea what the difference between a mug and a cup is. I do know that a cup is 250 ml. BRB.

    “A cup is smaller in size and appropriate for serving tea. A cup always comes with a saucer. A mug is bigger and cylinder shaped. It is also bulkier than a cup normally. Good for serving coffee.”

    Gotcha, I need a MUG cosy then. But I need to find a better name than cosy, too girly. How about Mug Insulator! That sounds cool.

    And Friar you would be proud. I transferred your knowledge to a new application. I put hot water in my thermos before putting my coffee in it. I didn’t need to nuke it today because it was luke warm…. who is luke anyway.

    Eyeteaguy

    Brett, I still use my Star Trek mug from university. Its big, broken and geeky.

  38. Brett Legree Says:

    @Friar’s Mom,

    Oh, I don’t know if I know that much about blogging. I’m still a neophyte when it comes to that. If you asked Problogger he’d probably have an official answer.

    I tend to call it “non-linear thinking” because that’s how I think. We seem to call it “blogjacking” here.

    No, my area of specialty is computers, but in the human-computer interaction area, specifically as pertains to productivity. Too many people end up working for the computer, when it should be the other way around… 🙂

    @Francis,

    Cool!!!

  39. Karen Swim Says:

    *Comes in, looks around and grins* Now THIS is Friar’s blog! And you people thought I could not do a proper blog jacking. LOL! Ha!

  40. Friar Says:

    @Karen

    I like it! 🙂 You should try to hi-jack more often!


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