Take the Friar-Q Test: Is your intelligence above or below average?

Answer “Yes” or “No” to the following:

1.  At the cashier, do you find yourself taken by surprise that you’re suddenly expected to PAY for your purchases? (i.e. Do you only start fumbling for your wallet after they’ve already bagged your groceries?)

2. Do you read The National Enquirer for real, and not just to pass the time in the supermarket line-up?

3. Do you blindly accept everything that comes out of Oprah’s mouth as gospel truth?

4.  Is Wheel of Fortune a bit too complicated for you?

5.  When they come up with lame-ass acronyms at work (like S*A*F*E or S*M*A*R*T), do you think it’s a great idea, and you make a point of memorizing what the letters stand for?

6.  Do you get upset when other people don’t?

7.  Do you take those horoscopes in the daily paper seriously?

8.  Does it take you more than 2 minutes to order a burger and fries at a fast-food joint?

9.   Do you agree that we can never get enough chimps on TV?

10.  Do you consider “Entertainment Tonight” legitimate news?

11.  Does breaking a bill cause you anxiety? (…must you always pay with exact change?)

12. Do you always drive BELOW the speed limit?

13.  Does it take your brain longer than 5 seconds to register that the traffic light has turned GREEN?

14.  Does the concept of depositing your paycheck in a BANK elude you? (…as opposed to using Money Mart?)

15.  Are you unable to pump your own gas?

16.  Do you feel the need to explain to grown adults that smoking is unhealthy? (…because you can’t grasp the concept that anyone with half-a brain probably already knows this?)

17.  Do you think there’s nothing wrong or blatantly idiotic about Gilligan’s Island?

18.  Do you prefer Elmo over Grover?

19.  Do you think Political Correctness is a GOOD thing?

20.  Do you go years without taking any of your entitled vacation, because you want to “save it” for when you retire?

21.   Have you been known to say “Yee-Haw” for real?

22.  Do you applaud the Berenstain Bears?

23. The Sun moves around the Earth:  Yes, or No?

24.   When a product on TV promises that you can lose weight without diet or exercise, do you believe them?

25.  Do you Twitter?


SCORING:   Count how many questions you’ve answered “Yes” to.

If you have no idea, because you can’t be bothered wasting your time on this stupid test, EXCELLENT!  You’ve passed with flying colors!  You’re close to genius level!

(2 or less )
You’re smarter than the average bear.  And maybe just bored because you actually counted your answers.

(5 or less)
You’re still okay.  Above average.  But watch it buddy, you’re on the verge of slipping.

(5 to 10)
You’re borderline, you probably have an IQ of 100-105.   May I suggest that the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle might not be for you.  Best to stick to the Word Jumble instead.

You probably breathe through the mouth a lot.  But that’s okay.  You’re still functioning at a high level.

You might consider wearing a hockey helmet to work.  Even if you don’t’ play hockey.

(20- plus)
Suffice to say…you’re a few fries short of a happy meal.    But don’t feel bad. You could have a promising career in Senior Management.  Just stay away from shiny objects, as they tend to distract you

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29 Comments on “Take the Friar-Q Test: Is your intelligence above or below average?”

  1. asrais Says:

    I got like 5, but I have some arguments why I’m not stupid for saying yes.

    1) wait I guess there is no excuse, I just don’t pay attention to what’s going on around me. Never mind.

    Wheel of Fortune is too much. I”m like still guessing when there is 3 letters left or something.

    5) yes, but usually becuase it’s easier to teach kindergartens little routines if we have fun little acronyms with them. Like HOOP: hands out of pants. *snark*

    18) grover is a little creepy.

    19) There is a level of political correctness that is appropriate.

    25) nothing wrong with twitter. i was an early adopter there. and then i quit. then came back again. i like facebook status updates, because they are people i actually know.

  2. Friar Says:

    Well, most of us Twitter, to some extent. (I just had to take my weekly poking fun at it…).

    And I found Elmo is too goody-goody. Grover was COOL. I wish they’d bring back more of him.

  3. Karen JL Says:

    Grover is cooler because he has the same voice as Yoda. 🙂

  4. Friar Says:


    HAHAHAH! I was watching The Empire Strikes Back a few weeks ago, and that’s EXACTLY what I kept thinking thought. I kept expecting Grover to show up.

    (Mmm…strong in you, the Force is!) 😉

  5. davinahaisell Says:

    I’m a borderline 6. Boring!

    Wheel of Fortune rocks from the comfort of my living room. If I were to go on the show though, it would be a different story.

  6. Liz Says:

    😯 I’m smarter than the average bear? Okay…what would Junior have scored? And I confess, I like acronyms.

  7. Friar Says:

    Well, being borderlines is better than wearing a hockey helmet to work! 😉

    Junior is the strong, silent type. He has no interest in these tests. I think he’d score “genius”.

  8. Friar's Mom Says:

    @Wee Friar,
    I skimmed through the questions and didn’t bother taking the test. Does that really make me a Genius? If so you too have my DNA.

    It’s raining today. I’m stuck at home. Must work on my Income Tax Return.

  9. hannah78 Says:

    But Oprah is God and her word is gospel! I am SO kidding. I saw a headline somewhere that she is unable to pump her own gas. LOL if that’s true!

  10. Friar Says:

    @Friar’s Mom

    Yes…NOT taking this test is a sure sign of intelligence!

    PS. I’d rather do income tax, than be at the office today. (Which shows you how much I love my job!)

    heh heh. You caught that, didn’t you?

    That’s exactly what I was hinting at, regarding not being able to pump one’s own gas.

    Thank you, Oprah! 😉

  11. XUP Says:

    I’m sorry. I’m sure what you posted here today is very amusing as usual, but I’ve made a vow never to do a test on the computer. This includes internet tests, email tests, and blog tests.

  12. Friar Says:

    Well, I’m just happy enough that you took the time to read it.

  13. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Hannah,
    Oprah and her friend Gail took a road trip across the US, and she was videoed at a service station addmitting that she had not pumped gas since 1983.

    Give her credit for admitting on National TV that she couldn’t do it. Takes guts to be humble.

    @ Friar,
    I’m sorting through my papers for Income Tax and chewing gum. Research indicates that that chewing motion improves memory and brain performance.

  14. Friar Says:

    @Friar’s Mom

    Sorry, I don’t buy that excuse for Oprah.

    The fact that she hadn’t pumped gas in 20 years is just embarassing. It just shows how out of touch she is (what does she do, get her BUTLER to do it?).

    It dosen’t say much about her FQ, either.

  15. I only read one question – and that’s because I had to scroll more than once to get to the comments form. Grover > Elmo.

  16. Friar Says:


    That’s okay…you’re still near the top of the class!

    Grover rules! (Are you old enough to remember Super Grover?)

  17. @Fryerror: I do remember Super Grover. But my favorite show from my childhood is still Fraggle Rock.

  18. Friar Says:

    I’m a bit odler than you…I was in university when Fraggle Rock was on the air..but it was still a good show.

    I started watching Sesame Street in 1970, I think. Back on the days when Mr. Hooper was still alive.

  19. @fries: Mmm. Oh well. I grew up in the prime days of Mr. Dressup an Fred Panner.

  20. Friar Says:

    Mr. Dressup ROCKS! I watched him, starting back in the 60’s.

    The Friendly Giant, and Rocket Robinhood too.

  21. Liz Says:

    OMG! The Friendly Giant, and Rocket Robinhood…that brings back memories. 😳 Of course I only watched the reruns. 😆

  22. Friar Says:

    They played re-runs of the Friendly Giant on TV not too many years ago…when I heard the theme music, it gave me goosebumps and I felt like I was three years old again.

    As for Rocket Robin Hood..they showed it as recently as a year ago on Teletoon.

    It’s so BAD…it’s GREAT! 🙂 (I love it…especially when Friar throws the food over his shoulder)

  23. Patricia Says:

    I am glad that I only read the test through so I am way up there on the ladder, which is good because Thursday I take my Ethics Re certification Exams and I am having big trouble in caring…
    I did enjoy reading the test because I love to laugh and that it did – out loudly – like a hoot.

    Does it count? I took 8 credits of classes with Mr Rogers in Graduate School. It was for my Master’s in Adult Education – he was way fun and I am sure he wrote the song “you are special just the way you are” – just for me ’cause it seemed to come up on the tape player whenever I was changing messy diapers and attempting to be a positive role model.

    I am going to try to read everyone’s blog while I am studying, but I am not very IT literate and I am not sure I can comment from my laptop and log on to the emails.
    I suppose that means I should wear a hockey helmet?

  24. TonyLawrence Says:

    I’m a 2. I Twitter and I always drive a little under the speed limit. Driving slower saves gas, is safer and more relaxing.

    Dunno why I Twitter though 🙂

  25. steph Says:

    I know this was meant to be funny, and it was! But I don’t get why not pumping your own gas is a big deal or how it has anything to do with intelligence.

    I am capable of pumping my own gas, as is Oprah, but mostly my hubby does it. It’s just how it happens. If she’s being chauffeured around it makes no sense for her to get out and pump gas.

    I actually don’t have anything I can think of against Oprah, come to think of it. I think she’s done very well. And I think she’s often resented because of the money she has, as well as because of her major popularity. That doesn’t make sense to me either.

    That said, I don’t watch her show or read her magazine or take her word or any word she endorses as gospel, because (frankly I’m not actually interested) I like to think for myself. Perhaps that’s the real sign of intelligence? 🙂

    (I admit: I do get upset over things other people don’t have a problem with, but again, I don’t get what that has to do with intelligence!)

  26. Friar Says:

    You’re getting re certified in ethics and you have trouble “caring”? (is that a contradiction in terms?) 🙂

    I Twitter. And I WROTE this test. So I wonder what that makes ME?

    (Probably not the sharpest tool in the drawer).

    Defening Oprah?

    If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were almost taking this Friar-Q test seriously! (hee! hee!)

    Not everything the Friar says is necessarily gospel truth, either! 😉

  27. Patricia Says:

    I don’t care because it is another church hoop they wish me to jump through and truly an insult because out of 300 people in this district, I am the only one Qualified to teach the class….and have taught such at University Level for 15 years…but I can’t seem to find a job (or ever get paid for my work) so I must be incompetent…

    With any luck the exam will be one of the ones I wrote, so when I get a low score it will confirm their blind eye….
    I finished seminary, paid every penny of the $48,000 for 5 years and have qualified 11 times now….I have done all the required work and volunteer service work…I am doing just enough right now not to lose my Ordination.
    a little rant here…I hate that it is costing me $400. which I would rather have as spending money for Scotland or for healing….

  28. aliastaken Says:

    Hey the Jumble can be tough…

  29. Friar Says:


    I either get the jumble right away, within seconds. Or I’m stuck and I never get it. It’s either/or for me.

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