How to Keep a Positive Outlook on Life
You lose your job.
Look on the bright side. Now you can learn to live off less. You’ll become less materialistic. It might make you a better person.
You’re sitting on the toilet with the stomach flu, and it’s coming out both ends.
Look on the bright side. This is a great way to lose those extra pounds.
You need knee surgery, and you wont’ be able to run or ski or do any sports for six months.
Look on the bright side. Now you can take up non-impact activities like Yoga or Tantric Origami. Ommmmmmmm.
A deer jumps in front of your car and totals it.
Look on the bright side. Now you have enough venison to last for months. And Bambi will get to learn to fend for himself.
You’re going through a messy divorce.
Look on the bright side. At least you won’t be arguing over who should leave the toilet seat up. (Or down).
Global warming is melting the ice caps.
Look on the bright side. Now the Polar Bears will have an opportunity to improve their swimming skills.
Iran and North Korea are trying to develop nuclear weapons
Look on the bright side. At least they’re learning something new. Good for them!
When we run out of petroleum, society as we know it will break down into anarchy and chaos.
Look on the bright side. Now we can make use of that survival cabin out in the woods. It will be just like one big camping trip. (S’mores, anyone? )
You’re a paraplegic
Look on the bright side. You still have your arms.
You’re a quadriplegic
Look on the bright side. At least you have your mind,
You’re a quadriplegic with brain damage
Look on the bright side, at least you have a nice set of teeth. And people still love you.
You’re a quadrupalegic with brain damage and gum disease. And everyone you know has been killed in a horrible bus crash.
Okay…I give up! ….You’re SCREWED!