Money Well Spent

Back in 2001, I had a brief career in Hi-Tech.    I worked for THAT company.

You know..THAT company’s who’s stock skyrocketed, then crashed….

THAT company that laid off thousands of people.  (I was one of them).

THAT company that’s a heart-beat away from bankruptcy today.

Anyway, for the brief 8 months I worked there, I contributed to their pension fund.

It wasn’t much at the time.    But it’s even less today.

Though I still get income statements.  Including this one from 2008.

One Cent

(*Insert sarcastic clapping here*)

Clap.  Clap.   Clap.

Bravo, Canada Revenue Agency.

Bravo.

Good job, making sure you keep track of that ONE PENNY I earned.

You cheesy weasel-bastards.

You know, any dumb-ass first-year programmer could have written some code, to say “If amount = $0.01, then ignore printing out costly tax receipt”.

But I guess that’s beyond the Tax Man’s comprehension.

I guess they prefer to spend the $10.00 in man-hours that it probably cost to process this information and send it to me.

But that’s okay.

I’m going to send in this receipt in my (late) tax return, out of principle.

Out of spite.

So that they can spend another $10.00 processing it all over again.

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17 Comments on “Money Well Spent”

  1. Brett Legree Says:

    Dammit Friar, it’s *your* fault the economy’s gone in the shitter.

    (THAT company that laid off thousands, and in the same year, paid the CEO a multi-million dollar bonus, BTW. THAT company that is heartbeat away from bankruptcy right now, and paid retention bonuses to “key staff” even as they were issuing *more* lay-off notices…)

  2. Mike Says:

    We own the mineral right son 2 1/2 acres of land and, every year, earn a small amount of money on gas well royalties.

    It’s never very much.

    One time, though, we got a check for 1 cent.

    I don’t know what happened to that check, but I do know that we never cashed it.

    It’s just the principle of the stupidity of sending out a check for 1 cent.

    What silliness.

  3. Mike Says:

    I meant “rights on” instead of “right son.”

  4. Friar Says:

    @Brett
    Wonder what would happen at my present job, if I really screwed up and the company was failing? Do you think they’d give me a huge retention bonus too?

    @Mike
    I wonder if all these cents add up to serious money? (like on the movie “Office Space”)?

    Which I highly recommend for anyone working on a cubicle farm.

  5. Donald Mills Says:

    Ah Friar,

    The endless stupidity of bureaucracy. I spent enough time around it to assure you, though, that it likely didn’t cost $10.00 in man hours to print off that statement. More likely in the $75-100 range.

  6. Friar Says:

    @Don

    Sadly, I think you’re right. $10.00 seems too low.

    And if I don’t declare this income, wouldn’t surprise me if they penalized me for it.

  7. XUP Says:

    Way to stick it to Da Man, Friar. I once got a cheque for 36 cents from our compensation people because they’d made an error on a previous (direct deposit) pay. I guess it would have been too complicated to just add it to the next (direct deposit) pay instead of cutting a cheque for 36 cents.

  8. Friar Says:

    @XUP

    I had another income statement for $1.09, but I thought this one for $0.01 was even better.

  9. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I used to have a small business and after I stopped the provincial government kept sending the quarterly sales tax forms for me to fill out. If you didn’t fill them out they could get you. So I did.

    Then one day a nice guy called me up, asked if I was still doing business. I said no so he said they will stop sending the forms and assume I was still not doing business until I said otherwise.

    Turns out he was a summer student, some guy higher up figured they could save $1,000,000 a year by not sending out these forms to people to fill in zero’s.

    So he wrote a program, ran it, printed the results, hired a student and saved a million dollars.

    Brilliant.

  10. davinahaisell Says:

    Okay, I’m shaking my head now. Good grief! So much for “a penny for your thoughts”.

  11. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Makes you wonder…how many other million-dollar sinkholes are out there, that we dont’ even know about?

    Bet you if it wasn’t for that student, you’d still be filling in those forms.

    @davina

    More like “A penny for your thoughts….and make sure you have a receipt.”.

  12. veredd Says:

    Wow. This is crazy.

  13. Friar Says:

    @vered

    I’m sure your IRS has pulled similar boners!

  14. Patricia Says:

    Every month I get a statement from my old internet provider with $15.99 credit – why don’t they every cut me a check and stop sending the statements…I on the other hand call and request per instructions?

    When my mum died 2 years ago several of her stocks and funds transferred to me. The will took the money out and gave my sister and brother checks…now I get my 3 statements in the mail every month…3 statements for my mother every month, 3 statements for my brother and 3 for my sister….2 years now…and they are still not on line…I am sure this has destroyed a couple breath worthy trees of oxygen.

    Oh yes the IRS has it’s share…they still wish to have my mum pay a tax fee on all the money she paid into her Canadian medical insurance funds as a teacher….she never got any of that money…and knew she forfeited when she became a US citizen…but there must be a whole forest of paper involved over the past 60 years of billing and threats. Crazy stuff in deed

  15. Friar Says:

    @Patricia

    Remember back in the 80’s, when computers were just coming out?

    Didn’t they say we’d end up with paperless offices?

    Apparently this doesn’t apply to the govt.

  16. t. sterling Says:

    I remember reading about an old woman who owed the government a penny. Would the IRS let that go? Nah. So she went into the tax office and gave them a penny. I wonder if it was all worth it, but since the country is having economy issues, every penny helps… I guess.

  17. Friar Says:

    @t

    Well, they say if you put a penny in the bank at 12% interest it could turn into a million dollars in 100 years.

    Maybe that’s the IRS’s game plan.


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