My All-Time Favorite Comments About My Weight Problem.

1.   I’m watching two perfectly fit women lift their T-shirts to pinch the 1/4  inch of skin around their bellies.    They oooh and ahhh about how “fat” they are.

Really sensitive.   Because it’s pretty damned obvious I’d be able to grab fistfuls on my own flab.  

Hel-Looo!.   I’m standing right next to you!

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2. My birthday party.    The family is there  including my girlfriend at the time.   Mom made my special Duncan Hines chocolate cake that I get once a year. 

After I blow out the candles, someone announces:  “Hey, maybe you can lose some weight, and not eat the cake!”.   

(Yes, that’s EXACTLY what I was planning on doing.  Thank you for pointing that out. )

************************

3.  I have some torn cartilage in my knee.  I’m in a lot of pain.  I phone someone to ask for the name of a doctor they know.   

I get the doctor’s name, but not after I’m lectured that maybe if I lost some weight, I wouldn’t have so many knee problems.

(Thanks immensely for your advice!    But this helps my immediate situation…HOW?)  

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4.  I’m visiting my folks for a weekend.   I bump into a old neighbor I havent’ seen in over a year.  He’s recently had bypass surgery.    

In front of everyone, first thing he does is laugh, and point at me:    “Holy shit…! What happened to YOU?”

Hey, good to see you, Mr. N.

************************

5.  Another neighbor, on another visit to my folks.    

The old f*** rolled down the window as he drove by, and told me I needed to lose some weight.

Nice to see you too,  Mr. D.

************************

6.  A Polish Christmas tradition is to exchange bits of bread, and wish people good things for the year.    Usually it’s things like “I hope you have  good health”, or “I hope you get that dream job you’re looking for”,  etc.   

On this year, someone tells me “I hope you lose weight”.    

I’m somewhat hurt by this comment.  (C’mon..NOT on Christmas!)

When I later mention this to other family members, I get further lectured.    At least one person is angry with me. 

(‘Tis’ the Season…)

************************

7.  Thanksgiving family dinner.  I happen to be talking about Hewitts’ Dairy in Hagersville, Ontario.  They make 4% Homogenized chocolate milk in glass bottles.  Best damned milk I ever tasted, I say.  

 Out of the blue, a relative sitting next to me reaches over, and sarcastically pats my belly.

(Notice, it’s always the SKINNY people who do that? )

************************

8.  I’m in a medical center.  I’m reading a diabetes poster on the wall, while waiting for another person to finish talking .     

At which they point out:  “Friar, you’re a candidate for diabetes yourself!”   

Right in front of a pretty nurse.   

As if this isn’t enough, the nurse chimes in:   “At your age, you need to start taking care of yourself”. 

(Umm…do I KNOW you?)

*************************

9.  It’s a beautiful sunny winter day in British Columbia.  I’m having a great ski day, going up the chairlift with a few people. 

 I happily announce that this is exactly what I’d like to do when I retire.   

 The old fart sitting next to me announces to everyone:   “With your weight problem, you won’t live to see your pension!”

(Yeah…but I’ll still be here 20 years from now..you’ll be DEAD….that’s what I shoulda told him!)

***************************

10.   A few days later, the same old fart insists on having coffee with me at the ski lodge.  I can’t get rid of him.

 He spends the whole time telling me I should be cycling more, and not fishing, to lose more weight.  

He wouldn’t let the weight thing go.    When I confront him about it…he points out that my Mom had cancer, but her heart is fine, she’s okay.  

 But that I’m more like my Dad…who died suddenly.  It was his heart.  That’s going to happen to me.     

Thank you, Mr. Fart.

Best.  Coffee break.   Ever.

****************************** 

11   I’m having a discussion with someone, pointing out that my Dad died instantly at age 70.  And his father died instantly, at age 72. 

 Gee, I hope I don’t have any ticking time-bomb like that when I turn 70. I say.

This is what I’m told:   

 “Welll…maybe it’s time to re-think your lifestyle and eating habits.”.

By the way, all this happened during my Dad’s funeral reception

While he was in an open coffin, 20 feet away.

(No comment…you just can’t make this stuff up, folks.)

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43 Comments on “My All-Time Favorite Comments About My Weight Problem.”


  1. […] Read the original here: My All-Time Favorite Comments About My Weight Problem. […]


  2. My response would be:

    If I lost weight and were as skinny as you, I’d be as rude as you too. I prefer to be polite.

  3. Brett Legree Says:

    You know what I’ve always found?

    People who are able to give such advice, have never been in your situation in the first place.

    My personal favourite is, “be thankful for what you have.”

    I always seem to hear this from someone I know who lives in a house that is completely paid off, who always paid cash for cars, and who can go on vacation 5 or 6 times a year.

    Yeah, if I made hundreds of thousands of dollars a year at a job I could choose to leave *any time* (because I was past retirement age) and had no debts, I’d be pretty fucking thankful for what I have too.

    As a more off colour example, I always laugh at the “experts” who claim to know what a serial killer is thinking.

    I’d like to ask the expert, “how do you know? Are you a recovering serial killer???”

  4. Brett Legree Says:

    I’ve had a “work friend” poke me in the belly and say, “what’s this?”

    (Hey, I’m built like a *Viking Warrior*, not a candy-ass.)

    He’s a runner, that’s all he does. No weights, nothing. Just runs.

    Without even thinking, I reached over and closed my hand around his bicep, and said, “what’s this?”

    I could literally put my hand around his bicep, if you can believe that.

    Yeah, you may not be able to pinch an inch on him and he may be able to run, but if I ever catch him, it’s *game over baby*.

    Not only can I run about 10 km non-stop, I can lift and swing heavy weights, and many other things.

    Just like you, Friar – you’re an all-rounder.

  5. Betsy Says:

    Ugh.

    My in-laws are like this. Their favorite: “You never see any fat old people…Why, when we go to the Mayo Clinic [about 18 times a year where we get evaluated, tested, treated, and generally pronounced fine aged specimens even though we’ve both had cancer, one of us is currently being treated for it and can barely withstand the effects because of no strength, and we have to keep our house heated at 80 degrees because we can’t stay warm, etc. etc, before we get presented with the outrageous bill for services that our fabulous medical insurance has fully paid for until recently], all the old people are thin.” Ummm, the people you’re seeing are being treated for cancer and heart disease. They’re sick. They’re walking around half dead, if they’re walking, with needles and tubes sticking in their veins. But by golly, you’re right . . . they’re thin. For sure!

    Or this one to my husband and me: “Can we talk about something personal?” When we give our wary assent, he pauses for effect and pronounces, “You’re fat.”

    Noooooooo?!! Really? My GOD! That must be why the clothes from ten years ago aren’t fitting! Well, I’ll be! Here I was wondering all this time…. Thanks for clearing that up.

    “You know, I lost 40 pounds counting calories. It was easy! I just made up my mind to do it! [Translation: I had cancer then, too, but no one in the family really knew to what extent.] You can do it, too! Why, we should have a contest! L needs to lose weight, too. Whoever loses the most weight gets to have the most comfortable bedroom at the cabin!” Gosh, maybe if L and Pete lose the same amount, adult brother and sister could sleep together under your roof.

    Arghhh. Maybe I’ll just go see if someone wants to play “Boggle” instead.

    My best friend told me recently she could never figure out why my mother-in-law didn’t seem to like her very much. She was really nice to my MIL, went out of her way to make a fuss over her as she demands, etc. But she finally realized due to some remarks made within her earshot that it’s because she’s overweight. They never socialized with the family of Pete’s ex, either. Pete thought it was because of social position. But I’m convinced it was because those in-laws were obese.

    Funny how, though, the skinniest of the siblings they’re so worried about is the one who died. Next to her, the skinniest of the siblings are unhappily single. One of them lives with these two, in a self-consigned misery with her childhood bedroom crammed so full of stuff you can’t walk in there. Seriously, it looks like one of those trash houses in the news. Because this grown woman doesn’t have her own home and none of her stuff can be out in “their” house. The other one, in her forties, yearns for marriage and a family. No boyfriend was ever good enough for them, though, so to keep the peace, she lives alone.

    You point this stuff out, and my goodness, you don’t have to be so bitter, argumentative or defensive. [All at once! 🙂 ] We’re just trying to help, here. We don’t want to bury another child! Oh, okay, let me help you with that. Pour me a shot with a chaser so I don’t blow my brains out. Oh wait, I forgot that you said I’m not “real family.” Thank you, Jesus.

  6. Friar Says:

    @Army Wife
    That’s a great answer!

    Unfortuantely, I wish I remembered to say things like that. But when I’m personally attacked, usually I’m so suprised by the rudeness of it all, I’m just speechless and I dont’ know what to say.

    I’ll have to remember that one, though. 😉

    @Brett

    Oh, yes. Everyone’s an expert on what to do your life, apparently, except for yourself.

    “Maybe if you ate less, you would lose some weight”.

    “REALLY??? Wow…(*gasp*). I NEVER thought of THAT. You mean, all along, that’s ALL it TOOK?

    Now that you’ve made things so clear, I’m going to drop 40 lbs. right away, and be just like YOU. ”

    As for those self-righteous skinny people. Yes, like you say, they’re built like a greyhound and can run really fast and for long distances.

    Good for them. But that’s ONE level of fitness.

    I have ANOTHER. Power and strength.

    I can bench press 200 lbs without blinking. I can carry a canoe on my head over 1 km of rough terrain. I can even run 10 km. Not nearly as fast. But I can run it .

    Funny, though, how the one level of fitness is valued more in our society, and the other one apparently doesn’t count.

    Except when it comes to moving heavy furniture.

    Then, who do they always ask for help? The Big Guy, or the Marathon Runner?

    @Betsy

    I hear ya. Someone can be mean, insensitive, thoughtless. But they’re skinny, that’s okay, they get away with it. Because our society places a higher value on thin skinny S.O.B.s, than nice caring obese people.

    Imagine if someone came up to them THEM, and made value judgements: “You should be more caring towards people….You should communicate more with your daughter in law” …Your nose is ugly…you should get it fixed”.

    If you did that, they’d flip right out.

    Yet they think it’s perfectly okay to judge you on your weight.

  7. Kyddryn Says:

    Dude…seriously? Come sit by me and have a bagel. Chill. You can lose weight by shedding all those rude SOBs. Thousands of pounds gone just by trimming your social circle a little.

    Eh, I know…not so easy when it’s family.

    Recent studies show that one may be fat AND fit – I have a fifty-acre ass and can still outrun a racecar on a regular basis, especially when it’s headed straight for me (this happens surprisingly often)(long story). My heart is strong, blood pressure perfect, lungs in good nick…I just happen to be fat.

    Some people have no sense, no tact, no clue.

    Also? Holidays and birthdays are NOT the time to tell someone your opinion of their health, lifestyle, or fashion sense. In fact, the only time it’s OK to bring up such personal topics is when one is ASKED!!!

    Why is it people feel free to make comments, give advice, and be downright cruel (under the guise of “teasing”), and don’t understand when one get pissed off?

    Grrrr…

    I’m sorry anyone in your life is so lacking in tact they think making those comments is appropriate.

    Next time someone cracks wise about your weight, feel free to answer “I may be fat, but you’re an arse, and tomorrow? I can lose weight – you’ll still be an arse.”

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who may not make much sense just now, but anger and lack of sleep do not coherence make)

  8. Brett Legree Says:

    @Friar,

    If you listened to the self-righteous skinny types, there’d only be one body type for men and women. Kind of like Olive Oyl from Popeye.

    Thank the maker that’s not the case.

    I like women to look like, err, real women if you know what I mean… 😉

    I don’t like girls who look like dudes with long hair.

    And like Kyddryn said, if you’re an arse, you’ll still be an arse the next day… heh heh

  9. Friar Says:

    @Kyddryn

    Funny how we’re not supposed to poke fun of teenage girls’ weight problems…because it can lead to poor self-esteem and eating disorders.

    But if you’re an adult male…well, then apparently it’s OPEN SEASON on the fat jokes and judgement calls.

    What’s ironic, is some people dont’ get it.

    Like you say, it’s possible ot be fit and fat. For example, I can get on cross-country skis and do a heavy cardio workout for hours on end. Which is a lot more than some skinny people might do.

    As you point out, ..it’s nobody’s business but our own. Unless we ASK someone’s opinion.

    No. You make perfect sense this morning.

    @Brett
    Yes..Thank God for curves.

    But seems we’re in the wrong era for that. We need to go back 50 years.

    I read that if Marilyn Monroe were alive today, she’d be considered 40 lbs. overweight.

    Today, the tabloids would probably crucify her, and drive her to stapling her stomach. So she’d look like Marilyn Oyl.

    (And how much fun would THAT be?)

  10. Mer Says:

    OMG. I’m flabbergasted by the rudeness of some people. I don’t hang out with them so I don’t have to hear it, but still. At your dad’s wake?! OMG. (I like the withering look as a response myself.)

    I take after the German (and possibly French) side of the family. Except for my dad, who is an aberration, we are all “heavier than thou.” But you know what? During the next famine when all the skinny people are dead from malnutrition, we’ll still be alive. Overweight people do live longer.

  11. Karen JL Says:

    I love how skinny people think those of us that are carrying a little too much poundage (*raises hand*) don’t *know* we are.

    Jeez, it consumes my every waking thought OK??

    And with all the pressures women face with having to be thin and beautiful (ugh, been dealing with it since I was 12), I will say this:

    Most people would never, EVER think of saying all that rude shit they said to you, to a woman. There is indeed a double standard in that regard.

    They may think it about me, but they will come right out and say it to a guy. Disgusting.

    I’m right on the chubby train with you buddy. Screw ’em!

    Hey, at least we have PERSONALITY. 🙂

  12. elizabeth Says:

    Friar: I applaud your cojones to come out with this. I have the same reaction when people say hurtful, thoughtless things. I’m so flabbergasted I don’t say anything back most of the time. I’d like to give you a big hug!
    One time I did say “I have two words to say to you: shut the fuck up!”. (I borrowed this from de niro in Midnight Run). It worked!

    Elizabeth

  13. Patricia Says:

    It is wonderful that we are all different. My Father gave me the gift of my disease by dying at age 64 from it – he made me promise to find out how to not do that in my lifetime. I have, and I am working on it, and finding a ‘HOLD ON” zone for me…I intend to live until at least 85 and healthy…The rest of my family is not heavy at all…especially not my in-laws.

    I have battled cancer numerous times and my body’s response is to get heavier and heavier – so I have decided not to get cancer any more…or diabetes…or worry about this stuff..

    I am just working on being the best me I can be and not lying about where I am at and what I am doing to myself…so far lying to myself is the most hurtful of all – I just don’t care what others say any more.

    I do wish I could still sing…that hurts worst of all..

    Be your best self -works every time. 🙂

  14. Randi Says:

    You know, it’s been my experience that people are more ruthless to men about their weight, especially one guy to another. I have seen men go up to their friends and say things like, “Hey Fat Boy!” or “Dang, you’re ugly!” or “Watsup, Crap-for-Brains?” They’re ruthless and I can’t help but feel that even though it’s done in “fun” it still hurts. But they stay friends! If one of my friends walked up to me and said, “How’s it going, Fat Girl?” that would be the end of it. Have other people noticed this? It just seems as if men are expected to buck up and take it. I don’t think that’s right.

  15. Peter Says:

    Next time I come up to visit (withOUT the kids), pizza’s on me, okay? Or I’ll do porkchops AND sausage like on your birthday. Wasn’t that delicious? Mmmmmm … meat.

  16. Allison Day Says:

    *snort* I don’t care WHAT size you are, if you can do half the stuff Friar does! All that cross country skiing and hiking and carrying a boat halfway across Canada 😉 and other adventures… I wouldn’t make it a mile. Geez.

    And #7 is now on my list of things I want to try someday when I visit Canada. Along with poutine… beaver tails (that’s what they’re called, right?)… yum. 😀

  17. Friar Says:

    @mer
    That’s an EXCELLENT article. More people should see it!

    Even back in my 20’s, when I was in my peak physical shape, and I was extremely active, I still had “love handles” and did NOT have a six-pack. Some people are just not genetically prone to having the perfect six-pack.

    But after the Apocalyspe, you’re right. We’ll be the ones still alive. 😉

    @Karen
    Thanks. I always figured there was a double standard about weight comments, but it’s nice to hear some women agree with me.

    And by the way, from what I’ve seen from you (on your movie critque video), you’re all right. I don’t think you have anything to worry about. 😉

    @Elizabeth
    Thanks for the virtual hug.

    And I really like that come-back. Mabye it’s time we started calling people on their bullshit insults, and fire a few warning shots back across their bow.

    Though unfortunately, I always think of what I should say, AFTER the fact, two days after the person said it to me.

    @Patricia
    “So I have decided not to get cancer anymore”.

    I like that approach. Attitude is everything, when battling things like that.

    @Randi
    It’s true. If people said things like this to a woman, someone would end up in a body bag!

    But for us guys…hyuck! hyuck! hyuck! We’re supposed to just suck it up and let ourselves get laughed at. It’s just so damned ANNOYING.

    @Peter
    Can we put the pork and sausage ON the pizza?

    Hopefully you can visit between now and Mid-September. That’s when the fish are biting the most.

    @Allison
    Yeah, you being the food expert, you would really appreciate that chocolate milk in glass bottles. It’s the only place I’ve EVER seen it still sold like that. It’s 4% homo milk….it’s like a milkshake. It’s AWESOME.

    I might get it once a year, when I visit my friends in Southern Ontario. It’s a 30 minute drive from Hamilton, but worth the trip. They also serve ice-cream!

    Beaver Tails are pretty good too..but the chocolate milk’s the best.

  18. XUP Says:

    This is the second blog post I read to day on this very topic; and, coincidentally the second blog post I read today. The first was Louise’s (http://lifebeginsat41.wordpress.com/). No one has the right to be rude to someone or give unsolicited advice to someone about their lifestyle, including family members (which is something I have to work very hard to remember because I worry about my overweight brother who, unlike you, is not at all fit). Having said that, I think it’s equally rude to make assumptions about “skinny” people — that they’re all weak, frail, neurotic and dying of cancer, for instance. I get just as many rude remarks because I’m not as zaftig as women my age normally are. People tell me I’m wasting away because I don’t eat enough pork. People tell me their arms are bigger than my thighs. People tell me not to go out when it’s windy – har har. People think I can’t lift anything heavier than my pen. All false. I’m fit, I’m strong, I’m healthy and I’ve survived a hurricane.


  19. Speaking from the slim side:

    Sounds to me like some of those people are worried about you.

    I don’t know you, so I can’t say whether they are right to be concerned. I do know that some obese people don’t want to face the reality that their eating habits aren’t helping them live a good life.

    I think it’s pretty simple: if your weight is affecting your health or if it prevents you from doing things you want to do, you need to change your life. You know whether that’s true or not.

    If it isn’t, give ’em a poke 🙂

  20. Friar Says:

    @XUP
    Exactly what you said. What if I went up to a skinny person and called them “beanpole” and made fun of how thin their legs were? And what if I told them maybe they should eat a cheeseburger or two?

    But I just wouldn’t DO THAT. It’s just not nice. I’d feel like such a shit, if I did.

    I don’t get people who openly attack other people’s appearance. I just dont’ get it. There’s no excuse.

    @Tony

    From my personal experience being “worried” often means providing the full criticism, but offering little or no words of encouragement.

    Once in a while, (very rarely) someone says something useful.

    One friend told me if you’re going to treat yourself by eating out, at least make it good food (meat, potatoes, veggies) instead of a greasy burger.

    Or another told me they put the exercise bike in front of the TV, and the pounds just melted off over the weeks, without them realizing it. It wasn’t’ a judgement call on me being fat…it was just telling me what worked for them.

    Now THAT’s the kind of moral support people can use. NOT “You’re fat…why dont’ you just eat less? ”

  21. Allison Day Says:

    XUP – I get that too. The worst is when people accuse me of being anorexic (erm… definitely not)… or my little brother (who is a cancer patient) told me that I look more like a cancer patient than he does. Um… thanks?

    In my experience, it seems like a lot more people think it’s okay to make snide remarks about someone being “too” skinny than about someone being fat. Perhaps they think it’s okay to make fun of skinny people, since it’s supposedly more desirable (or at least, that’s what the media tells us) to be super thin.

    Friar – Although I have seen milk in glass bottles in our grocery stores here… I’ll bet yours is so much better. I love chocolate milk, and man does that sound good. 😀

  22. Karen JL Says:

    So it really comes down to: if we all don’t look like Heidi Klum or Brad Pitt…we’re basically f*cked. 😉

  23. Friar Says:

    @Allison

    Telling someone they’re too skinny or too fat, is just like telling them their nose is too big. Or their boobs are too small. Or you should do something about that bald spot.

    Imagine being in the “Perfect” range of body-weight, where nobody judges you or questions your lifestyle?

    Must be nice, eh?

    Inside, you can be the meanest SOB in the world, but as long as you LOOK good, society approves of you.

  24. Friar Says:

    @Karen JL

    I think there’s room for a few fat people. John Goodman. Aretha Franklin. They’re accepted, or at least tolerated.

    But that pretty much fills the quota.

    So, yes…everyone else who doesn’t look like a Barbie or Ken doll is F**KED.

  25. louise Says:

    (It *is* funny that we posted about similar things at the same time — is there something in the air?)

    Oh, wow. People really can be assholes. I think people think men can just shrug off a rude comment about their weight, where women would take it more personally. Maybe it stems from male-to-male interactions growing up — men do really stupid things to one another but stay friends. And movies and TV shows propagate the myth of the happy, jolly fat man, something you don’t generally see happening with a fat woman. It’s a double standard in a situation that is already a double standard. It sucks, but you know it sucks almost as much to hear people saying it behind your back, in furtive whispers. At least if they say it to your face, you have the opportunity to tell them to shut the fuck up.

    RE: the patting your belly — that relative would so have lost some fingers (or teeth) if they did that to me. You don’t have the right to touch someone like that, any more than you have the right to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. Can you imagine walking up to a skinny person and touching their stomach? You’d be arrested for assault.

    Tony: Concern is understood and maybe even expected, but really, is it anyone’s else’s business whether an obese person is obese or not? “Need” is a relative term and is no one’s judgement call to make except the person whose life it is.

  26. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I’ve met Friar. He’s not fat. At least I don’t remember him as being fat. What I do remember is him laughing A LOT and having a lot of enthusiasm.

    I did call my brother in law fat once. But he had been ripping into me and picking on me all day (I’m small and skinny, but its just the genes) So I said it was good to see him again, and that there was so much more to see. Boy or boy, he did not like that. He was about to give it back when his girlfriend started laughing out loud and I quote “You’ve been picking on him all day, did you really expect him to take it infront of his wife and kids?”

    I call that justified.

    Anyway, Friar hikes, bikes, canoes and fishes. He doesn’t park his ass in front of the TV with a bag or Doritos. That’s Brett, and he is one big fat bag of shit.

    Eyeteaguy

  27. Brett Legree Says:

    @Eyeteaguy,

    You forgot to call me a rotten bastard.

    I stopped eating Doritos a long time ago. The orange finger syndrome was kind of creeping me out.

    The big joke as I see it will be told in about 20 years, when nanotechnology rises up and gives us the ability to extend our lives so we can live to 200 – or 2000 perhaps, clean up our bodies, burn the excess fat to make us “perfect” (whatever the hell that is) etc.

    Then I’ll be laughing my ass off at all the “goody-two-shoeses” who were eating tofu and bean sprouts, and avoiding alcohol and caffeine, in self-imposed martyrdom.

    (In my best Nelson voice) Ha ha!

    Or maybe that won’t happen, we’ll all die anyway, but I’ll die happy knowing that I’ve eaten food that tastes like food rather than mummified alpaca shit 🙂

  28. Friar Says:

    @Louise

    Well, guys DO take it personally. But we’re not allowed to get upset. It’s not “manly”. So we pretend to laugh, and tell the other person to Eff Off. But it still hurts, though.

    As for obese people. I so agree. It’s that persons’ business and theirs only. It’s their issue to deal with. Not the rest of the world’s.

    Why can’t skinny people understand this?

    We’re not asking for pity. Just that it would be nice to be left alone and not randomly insulted.

    @Eyeteaguy

    Wow…once again, you totally threw me for a loop. I was half-expecting a snarky comment about telling me suck it up and lose some weight or something.

    But here you go, saying something nice about me and being supportive.

    WTF…???

    But you don’t fool me. I know it’s all a plot to keep me constantly guessing.

    @Brett

    Yeah, the Zesty Mordents are the ones making your finger orange.

    But better orange than brown.

    As for healthy lifestyle…who’s to say what’s more dangerous and what’s more safe?

    Five more cyclists in Ottawa this weekend got taken out by a van. Some pretty seriously injured. It wasn’t their fault…the van did a hit and run.

    Sometimes shit just happens, no matter what.

  29. Eyeteaguy Says:

    No ploy.

    If you wanted to lose weight, you would.

    Go back and read my guest post on Brett’s blog. You make no apologies, you are who you are. You like you, I like you, Brett likes you. Fuck the rest of ’em. When it comes right down to it, Brett and I are all you need.

    As for keeping you guessing, I am outside your house right now. I cracked your wireless and an snooping in all your stuff. By the way, what’s with the Spiderman pajamas?

    Eyeteaguy

  30. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Couldn’t find my Mighty Hercules PJ’s. Hadda settle for Spiderman.

  31. Beth Partin Says:

    Friar,

    I’m late commenting, as usual, but I am so with you on the chocolate milk in glass bottles.

    I almost always think of comebacks when it’s too late. Sometimes I’ll go over and tell the people how I feel anyway, but they always look at you as if to say, “What are you talking about? I did something wrong?”


  32. In 1967, at the age of 19 , I weighed about 150 lbs. Skinny teenager.

    By 1995, I was just under 195. I quit smoking that year and by 2002 I had reached 210 and I made the decision to lose weight.

    This morning the scale says 174.5. It took me seven years to lose 35 lbs.

    I’m not quite done – I’m aiming for 165. That will take a few more years.

    I did some yo-yo dieting. Dumb, it doesn’t work. Lose weight, gain it back. You are unhappy while dieting and unhappy when you gain it back. Recipe for depression.

    I then approached this scientifically. The very first step was to shrink that stomach. For the first few weeks, I did not diet at all, and in fact maintained a daily calorie intake well in excess of 3500. It could have been more; I wasn’t even counting at that point. Does this make any sense? Shrink your stomach by *not* dieting?

    Well, actually, it does. The secret of this is to allow yourself as much food as you want, but to spread it out more. Smaller meals don’t stretch out your stomach, and you slowly get used to feeling full with less. So have that entire pizza for supper, but spread it out over the entire night. Eat one piece, and wait a half an hour before doing another. This also works in another way because the “I’ve had enough” signal takes quite a long time to reach our brains. When we spread it out as I’m suggesting here, it often turns out that we’re quite happy *not* to eat that whole pizza, and will feel completely satisfied long before it is gone.

    But there’s no denial: you get to eat the whole pizza if you want it. Or two pizza’s – just spread out the time, no full tummy.

    Of course, this isn’t going to take any weight off, and it might even add a few pounds (it probably won’t- it didn’t for me). So it is time for the next step, and that involves cutting back.

    No big cuts. Better to cut back a little. It took many years to pack the fat on, what’s the rush to take it off? I stuck with the time spread but just consciously cut back a little.

    And that’s all I’ve done (other than exercise, of course). I eat what I want, I just try not to eat too much of it and if I can’t help myself, I slow it down.

    It works. It takes years, but it works. Chocolate anything is still a big temptation, but now I just eat less and I’m happy.

  33. Captain Push Says:

    Fanny says we are “fluffy” Friar. I’ll accept that.

  34. Brett Legree Says:

    @Tony,

    Your personal experience is similar to some research I encountered a while back – a comparison of type of food consumed vs. obesity rates between France and the USA.

    The food eaten by the French was really no healthier than what was eaten by the American subjects.

    The difference turned out to be the time taken to eat the food. The French tended to stretch out meal times to 90 minutes or two hours.

    If we eat really quickly, our bodies tend to store the calories as fat, a sort of stress reaction that goes back to ancient times when we might have to eat quickly and then not be able to eat again for a few days – hence, we’d need the fat.

  35. Brett Legree Says:

    PS – I have bulked up a lot since my triplets arrived on the scene – and I believe it is because I spend much of mealtime serving food to the kids, and I rush my own eating.

  36. Friar Says:

    @Tony

    Thanks for the tip. (These are exactly the type of useful suggestions I’ve been talking about).

    @Captain
    Heh heh. Fluffy. That Fanny is just too sweet!

    You’re right…I can accept that.

    @Brett
    Four kids, and a full time job, and now a new puppy.

    You’d have every excuse in the world to pile the weight on. I”m amazed at how you stay as slim as you do.

    (Must be all those Viking drills.)

    Instead of Pilates, maybe it’s Pillages.

  37. Brett Legree Says:

    @Friar,

    The bottom line is that we can do a lot of things other people cannot.

    I don’t really see myself as fat or thin, just as a Viking Warrior ready to pillage and burn!!! Bleargh!!!

    And I certainly can’t blame it all on my kids (I could blame it on beer, though…)

  38. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    While the skinny triathletes are out training to break the 35-minute mark, we’ll be burning and pillaging their homes and stealing their women. (NYARRRGHH!!!)

  39. Brett Legree Says:

    @Friar,

    Heh heh that reminds me of Conan the Barbarian…

    Mongol General: Hao! Dai ye! We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?

    Mongol: The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.

    Mongol General: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?

    Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

    Mongol General: That is good! That is good.

    🙂

  40. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    Okay…you got the men and women. But what about the children and puppies? Barbarians would want to torment them too. 😉

  41. Brett Legree Says:

    You’ve never seen Conan’s kids, have you.

  42. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    No. But I suspect they’d be pretty bad-ass at the school yard.

    Not only would they take your lunch money, but they’d probably kill your family, burn your crops, and then salt the scorched soil so nothing every grows there again.

  43. Brett Legree Says:

    @Friar,

    And that would just be the start.


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