How Companies will Assist you in Blowing Your Own Job Interview

Your footwear is wrong
Seriously.  For one of my interviews, the Head-hunter warned me to make sure my shoes were nice and polished.  Because the manager was “Old School” and he placed a lot of value on a man’s shoes.

So…never mind my qualifications, experience, or personality.   If my shoes are scuffed,  Mr. Chunder-Head will disqualify me.

An, sure enough, when I met him,  that’s one of the first things he looked at.   My SHOES…

Silly me.  Had I known this, I wouldn’t have spent all that time getting my PhD and accumulating all that job experience.   I coulda saved all that aggravation, and just bought some black Kiwi Shoe Polish.


You shake hands the wrong Way

Too weak, and you’re a wuss.  Too strong, and you’re aggressive.   The handshake has to be juuuuuuust right.

Jesus Christ….can someone please do an experimental study with a strain-gauge?    Help us determine the optimal pounds-per-square-inch of handshake pressure to apply, to save us from the Unemployment Line.


You order the wrong food
If the interview includes a lunch or dinner, don’t order anything too expensive, or you’ll look like you’re taking advantage of them.    But if you’re too frugal, you’ll look like a tool, like you’re someone that can’t fit in with the group.

Whatever you order, remember:  the price has to be juuuuuuuust right.

Oh, and God Forbid, do NOT spill any food or drink on your clothes.   Or you’ll blow it right there.

Interview meals (Shudder).    I’d rather play with live cobras.


Not being perfectly punctual.
Obviously,  being late is a big no-no.  But showing up too early isn’t good either.   Now you get to sit in the lobby and wait for your interviewers to arrive, while you look too eager and desperate.

Remember…your timing has to be juuuuuuuust right.


Show up exactly on time, but still get burned for it.

Happened to me once.   I met my interviewers at exactly 2:00 PM at a  pub. (I think it was calle The Thrusting Pig or something, but that’s besides the point).    Click and Clack were still eating, and apparently weren’t’ ready for me yet.

There was an awkward moment.  These two bosons almost seemed annoyed, and didn’t invite me to sit down with them.   They said to give them another 10 minutes or so, and went on talking among themselves.

(What?)   I was almost ready to walk out at that point.    But I decided to go to the bar for a pint of beer, and waited for them to come and get me.

When they did, they seemed pissed off:  How how come I didn’t’ bring my beer over and join them?

Oh yeah.  That was a GREAT start to a lousy interview.


Another interviewer blows your chances, and it’s not your fault

Once a junior engineer was assigned to take me out to lunch.   I just followed his lead (after all, he was part of the Interview Team).   But it turns out he brought me back late, which threw the whole afternoon interview schedule off.

Some of the senior managers were visibly annoyed.  The one who might have been my future boss  kept glaring at me.    It was obviously MY fault.

Right then and there…GAME OVER.


You don’t solve their lame-ass brainstorming question.
Picture this:  a man is in a boat, in a very small pond.  There’s a large anchor in the boat, which he throws overboard.  This will lighten his boat and make it float higher out of the water.  But the anchor will also make the water level in the pond rise slightly.

So what happens to the level of the water in the pond? Does it go up and down?

This is how my interview started.   The idiot woudln’t talk to me.  He just gave me pencil and paper to solve the problem, and left me alone for 15 minutes.

For THIS, I took half a day off work and drove 120 miles?   To play their cat-and-mouse game of “Let’s see how we can get this guy to work under pressure” ?

F**k.    Right.   Off.

Needless to say, I was annoyed enough, and didn’t remember my 1st year physics enough, that I didn’t’ solve the puzzle.    (Oooh, that’s probably a black mark against me!)

But at that point, I didn’t care.  I had already lost considerable interest in the company.


You have the nerve to ask about your travel expenses
Good companies will pay for your gas, meals, motels, etc.   They’ll even arrange for your lodgings ahead of time, and cut you a check for your gas before you arrive.

BAD companies will expect you to drive 200 miles to be interviewed, out of the goodness of your heart.   And if you ask about travel expenses, you get awkward looks:  the cheap bastards try to make YOU out to be the bad guy.

Hmph.  Just as well.  Who’d want to work for a company like that, anyway?

(By the way, this was the SAME company that gave me the anchor-boat problem).


You Interview the Anti-Christ

Have you ever had this moment:  You first meet your interviewer, you make eye-contact and shake hands…and in that first split second….it’s like a jolt of bad electricity?….it feels so WRONG?

Congratulations.  What you got there is the Interview Anti-Christ.    It takes on different shapes and forms.   But regardless, It has decided It already hates you, and you don’t’ stand a chance.

Yet It will still go through the motions, for what turns out to be the nastiest, most disastrous interview of your life.

Next time that happens, when I feel that bad chemistry, I’ll take out the Holy Water, and splash them.   If they hiss as it burns them, I’ll just turn around and leave.

You have a questionable reference
This has never happened to me.  But I’ve heard annectodal stories from a hiring manager.   If he’s interested in a candidate,  he’ll phone one of the references, and will ask them to describe so-and-so.

If the other person waivers (“…well….“) that would be enough to turn him off.   He’s told me that all it takes is that SPLIT SECOND of hesitation, and he wont’ hire that person.

Hol-Lee Crap.   If that’s all it takes…..wow.    It’s amazing any of us ever find jobs.


Be Born after 1960

Anybody today looking for work  knows how much the whole process sucks.    Getting a decent job can take months of planning, networking,  cold-calls..and that’s just to get an interview.

Woudln’t it have been nice to have grown up as a Baby-Boomer?    No c.v.’s, no pounding the pavement.

If you wanted work, you’d just show up to the Personnel Office,  fill in the job application form (in PEN), and you’d get hired on the spot, for the next 35 years, with full benefits and pension.

No advanced education needed, either.  You just needed your Grade 12  to apply, and company would train you.

And yet…these same baby boomers (now retired)  expect Senior Discounts at McDonalds.

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46 Comments on “How Companies will Assist you in Blowing Your Own Job Interview”

  1. feefifoto Says:

    I have to say I must be tired because when I first read the title I thought this post had something to do with blow jobs.

    Shoes. People always look at shoes. Sometimes shoes even reveal the wearer’s nationality. Shoes are a crucial part of a first impression.

    And — what is the answer to the anchor question?

  2. Mer Says:

    I’d rather play with live cobras.

    😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 :D:D 😀 :D:D 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    –If you’re a woman, never go to an interview meal (or any meal with the VP) hungry. And don’t order spaghetti–just as a matter of not spilling or looking foolish.

    –I had a Marketing Manager hire me for my handshake, I’m sure of it. (For the record, I sucked at marketing because I was honest and told stockbrokers I couldn’t say what the next dividend was–and that they KNEW I couldn’t tell them! I think I was supposed to mess with their heads. Maybe.)

    –Be born before 1970 and a Woman. Before 1960 was worse, depending on where you lived. But even in San Francisco the glass ceiling was real. Apparently, you could only sleep your way through it, and even then, maybe not. (I knew of a woman who tried, and was perfectly qualified, but they never promoted women to the level of Controller back then, let alone to anything higher.)

    BTW, even kids born before WWII didn’t always end up staying at the same company until retirement. When Ma Bell divided itself, the resulting companies changed their business practices and made it difficult for middle managers to stay on. They were sort of eased out for younger people. That was before parachutes of any color, I think. Early to mid-1980’s. (My dad was an electrical engineer who had taught employees about the ESS systems before they came out and he was one of those who left.) The guys without a college education, on the other hand, the ones climbing the telephone poles, got excellent contracts.

    On another note: The FH interviewed with a guy from Price Waterhouse or one of the other snootier Big Eight accounting firms, and the interviewer ridiculed him when he said he was born in New Jersey. So the FH said, “Fuck you.” I was so proud. 🙂

    Obviously, he didn’t get that job. He got a better one with a nicer Big Eight firm.)

  3. Brett Legree Says:

    My favourite because it has been asked of me a couple of times, for a job where I only stayed for one year:

    “Why did you leave this company so soon?”

    (The variation is something like “I see you have had 5 jobs in 10 years.”)

    I could tell them the truth and say, “The rotten bastards were going bankrupt and didn’t pay me for three months while my wife was pregnant with triplets – what would *you* have done?”

    This ties in to your 1960 thing – hello, there are a lot of shitty companies out there now that the gravy train has run off the tracks, and no, I’m not willing to bust my ass mining salt for Nazis – *that’s* why I’ve moved companies a few times.

    Seriously, it’s not me.

  4. Kyddryn Says:

    Huh…I never had to interview for a job…but then, usually, when you want to work at Burger King, they aren’t that choosy – they mostly prefer you to have all your fingers and teeth if you’re going to work front-of-house. Ability to legibly fill out the application is a plus. I was over-qualified because I could also add, subtract, and calculate change without needing the register.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

  5. Kelly Says:

    Friar,

    The shoes is very true. Sadly I never think of shoes, myself, but I have noticed clients looking at mine when it’s too late to do anything about them. At least the headhunter reminded you. There are some things hiring managers do want more than your brain—a sense of respect for others’ oddities and attention to detail among them—you can’t fit those on a c.v., but since you were warned, the shoe test does say something about both, I suppose.

    Showing up on time and still getting burned for it—that entire story is the saddest thing ever. What controlling bullies. Just as well you didn’t end up working for them!

    Two that science has shown:

    Be beautiful/handsome if you want the job—being shorttallfatskinnyoddoruglyinanyway ruins your chances before you open your mouth.

    Wear a white shirt—people are perceived as smarter and are offered more $$ if they wear white to the first interview. (Second choice is blue, but they’re just seen as honest. They don’t get more dough for it.)

    Regards,

    Kelly

  6. Brett Legree Says:

    It’s a funny old world, though isn’t it, with appearances and so on.

    Where we work, to get ahead, you have to be seen as the first person in to work, the last person to leave.

    Run around with a cell phone glued to your head, carrying papers and so on.

    There are hundreds of people doing this, every day.

    And yet the company’s in a death spiral.

    So much for appearances, eh?

    🙂

  7. Kyddryn Says:

    COme to think of it…I DID apply for a job once that I DIDN’T get – I don’t count that as an interview, though, because they didn’t even look at the application. I didn’t have FOA (Front Office Appearance) because I didn’t (and don’t) wear makeup and I was overweight. In other words – I wasn’t pretty enough. Sigh.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K

  8. Karen Swim Says:

    Friar, you have had some truly bizarro interview experiences but I know they are true. Your credentials and ability to do the job are the most critical but the packaging can absolutely reveal hints about the candidate so yes showing up with scuffed shoes and a wrinkled shirt can make an impression, which is sad but true. For heartbreaking, read stories of the homeless who try to find work – try getting dressed for a big interview in a gas station restroom. You also hit on another key fact, most companies do a bad job of interviewing. They don’t train managers to interview so ask dumb questions that have nothing to do with the hiring profile.

  9. Brett Legree Says:

    Just talking about the person vs. the ability to do the job reminds me of companies that run credit checks and then won’t hire if the score is too low.

    I read a blurb the other day here http://news.slashdot.org/story/09/08/12/023204/Will-Your-Credit-Report-Disqualify-You-For-a-Job?art_pos=1 about some companies that did it illegally and got in trouble.

    People will tend to be on one side or the other of this. But I can’t count the number of people I know who have been dealt a bad hand in life, and had their credit go down the tubes (e.g. getting cancer in the USA and then going bankrupt when medical insurance cuts you loose, I know a couple of people like that).

    Sadly employers really don’t know how to interview, in many cases, and with so many applicants, they find a plethora of ways to eliminate “less than ideal” candidates.

    We as potential employees must do the same thing, though, if we can. If the interviewers seem quirky, get out – don’t take the job, keep looking.

    I have an example from my own life. I interviewed for a job with Swagelok in Niagara Falls in 1997. The headhunter told me to wear a white shirt with a button down collar as they have this sort of uniform culture there.

    So I did.

    When I got there, I parked pretty close to the door.

    Now… I tended to use my car as a sort of “utility vehicle”. So it was clean, mind you, but cluttered inside (tools and so on).

    I went through most of the interview and then one of the interviewers mentioned he had seen me get out of my car, and when he had a look inside, it seemed “messy” – he asked what this said about me as a person.

    I stood up and said, “well, I’ve not seen inside of your car or your house, but I already know enough about your company from what you just said that I know I will never work here” – and I turned on my heel, and walked out.

    Interviews are a two-way street and I’ve probably walked out of almost half of all of the ones I’ve had because the interviewers rubbed me the wrong way.

  10. XUP Says:

    Yes, yes…bad, bad employers. On the other hand, these people are trying to make a judgment about you based on an hour of face-to-face contact. They will be letting you into their business; in on all their business secrets. They will be forking out a great deal of money to employ you — not just your salary, but all that other shit employers have to pay for. You and the people you will be working with are a big part of the company’s future success or failure. They need to be able to trust you not only to do your job well, but also that you will be a good fit with the team. There is nothing more poisonous than having an employee who disrupts the rhythm of the workplace. No matter how good you are at your job, if you’re a morale breaker you can wreak havoc in the place. So, of course they are going to look for any little clues they can on which to base their judgements. If everyone in the office is very concerned about appearances, a guy with scuffed shoes isn’t going to fit it. It sounds stupid, but it’s an indicator of a whole lot of other stuff. When you’re on the receiving end of the interview I know very well how ridiculous this all is, but when you’re actually in a position to hire someone with whom you have to work (maybe for years and years), it’s a very scary prospect sometimes.

  11. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Those are gret stories but I have been on the other side of the desk a few times and you would not beleive the clowns who walk in. Slang, swearing, picking their nose, c’mon if you didn’t want the job just say so.

    But last year I went for an interview and right after we sat down he said “If you wanted to expose a server to the Internet but still retain firewall rules over it how would you go about it based on Cisco hardware and Microsoft software”.

    A LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG pause. He finally asked if I knew the answer.

    My response? “I have 5 interviews this week, I think you have this all backwards. I am interviewing companies that I want to work for not to find companies that want to hire me. I am pretty sure I don’t want to work here”

    As I left he asked if I knew what the answer question was…. I said “yes”.

    Sheesh, read the fucking resume, I would never apply for a job that I didn’t think I could do.

    Its more important that you get along and fit into the company environment. You can train people to do the job, you can’t train them to get along.

    Eyecoffeeguy

  12. XUP Says:

    I’m a little scared that I agree with Eyeteaguy

  13. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Another one turns to the dark side. Joing me young Xup, and together we can rule the Blogoland.

    Darth Eyeteaguy

  14. Brett Legree Says:

    This is yet again a lot deeper than it seems.

    Eyetea is right, you can train people, you can’t train them to get along.

    However… some people are really good at interviews, so even the “soft skills” interviews don’t weed out all of the undesirables.

    What makes me smile most about this post when compared with one of Friar’s last post can be summed up like this:

    “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

    See, this is what employers do, all the time, and most people here would agree that it is okay.

    And yet, when we do the same thing with prospective mates, suddenly everyone gets all uppity and says, “yeah, but you shouldn’t judge someone by her appearances!”

    Well, what is it then???

    I guess the reality is, yes, we have to judge a book / prospective mate / prospective employee by first appearances.

    Is it right?

    Who knows.

    Does it always work?

    No, judging from some of the psycho people I’ve dated / worked for / had a hand in hiring.

    But I suppose until I have perfected that brain scanner I’ve been working on (that’s why I haven’t been posting a lot, you see), it’s all we have.

  15. Brett Legree Says:

    PS – more to what Eyeteaguy said, I’ve seen it go the other way too.

    I applied for a job I knew I could do at the company I’m currently at, I’ve been here a long time and know the ropes, I’m a nice guy (shut up Friar).

    But… I don’t have the “papers” they wanted as a nice to have. It was a management job in the data centre, I’d not have had my hands on, it was more along the lines of managing projects and people, which I can do.

    But… they said they’d rather have someone with the college course (and no experience and unknown abilities and unknown people skills).

    I guess the bottom line is if someone really wants you they’ll hire you, one way or another!

  16. Kelly Says:

    Brett,

    Book by cover. ‘Fraid so. I’m completely shallow for a couple of minutes– once again that’s genetic. We can’t get away from it, howl and rage and wish it would change though we may.

    But I know it, and that makes all the difference.

    Until later,

    Kelly

  17. Brett Legree Says:

    Kelly,

    Knowing we do that can help… and yet… subconsciously… it still affects us, subtly.

    That’s why discussing the same concept, applied to different situations, is so interesting.

    We all judge, based on appearances (and experience with those appearances, in some cases).

    And we’re told not to, from childhood sometimes, with books, people and so on.

    Don’t judge based on age, sex, race, appearance, physical characteristics… and yet, we do.

    The hairless apes who put a few of our own on the moon 40 years ago are not that far removed from the ones who invented the wheel, sometimes.

  18. XUP Says:

    Of course we have to judge by appearances; especially when we only have a short time to make a decision about someone. And I always judge a book by its cover because I’ve read enough books to know that a certain cover style represents a certain type of book. Without even reading the publisher or author’s name, I can tell by the colour(s) or lack thereof of the book jack, the picture, the title, the font, the thickness of the book, etc., pretty much exactly what kind of book this is going to be and whether or not I will like it. Very occasionally I still get fooled, but most of the time I’m right. Same goes for people. My first impressions of a person are almost always accurate and are confirmed the longer I know them. People go to a hell of a lot of time, trouble and expense to present themselves to the world in a way that they would like to be perceived.The amount of effort they’ve put in, the format that effort takes, how comfortable they are with their presentation — all that tells us so much instantly about a person. It’s not always what the person was attempting to present, of course, but that too is important. Damn, now I want to do a blog post of my own on this.

  19. Eyeteaguy Says:

    First impressions are almost never right.

    Take for example the first time I met Friar. I thought he was a lazy, boring, juvenile….. oh wait, bad example.

    Brett, the fist time I met Brett I thought he was a arrogant, self absorbed, conniving… hmmmm. Maybe first impression have merit after all.

    Eyeassholeguy

  20. Brett Legree Says:

    @XUP,

    It is interesting, isn’t it – I hope you do a post about this, I’d be glad to participate.

    @Eyeteaguy,

    Heh heh heh that’s exactly what I meant, eh?

  21. Patricia Says:

    Oh wow this brings us memories. I have never gotten a job after a job interview. Every job I have had has been because someone who knows me asked me to fill in or do a project or teach something and then I just rolled into the position. I guess I am a baby boomer.

    I am not smart enough to figure out how to get a Doctorate with Dyscalcula so that let me off the hook with not being able to even get a call back.

    My worst interview was for a Medical Research Facility, I was told I was interviewing for a teaching position to teach folks how to make ethical decisions, when I left the interview I realized they were interviewing me for a position which did not exist yet…and they hired a younger woman with an Adult Educator degree because they felt they could offer her a lower salary. I had too much experience so they would have to pay me more – of course I would have defined the position for them.

    Looks like I need to go job hunting again – because my blog is not making it – not enough readers to get ads and then my readers don’t purchase things off my blog …$10 a month does not health ins. pay for ($1,423.00) a month with $5,000 deductible….I am just not working hard enough or smart enough

    Loser employee!
    Lots of fear to overcome as I spring into action here.

  22. davinahaisell Says:

    Friar, this is just stupid, stupid, stupid. All of it. Stupid questions, stupid rules… ugh! Makes me gag. And Brett, good for you re “what does your messy car mean?” OMG!!!

    For my second-last job I went to the interview wearing biker shorts and runners – believe it or not. I still can’t believe I dared that. It was during a transit strike and I walked in with my helmet under my arm.

    The interview went well and I was called back for a second interview, to which I wore a dress and after which I was hired. I stood out to them because of my unique uniform I suppose. I’ve been pretty lucky and have got almost every job I’ve been interviewed for.

    Oh, and during the first week of this new job… I got stuck in the elevator alone, for TWO hours. They thought I’d changed my mind and decided not to show up. Chuckle. Little did they know that not only was I stuck in their elevator, but that I did a quick change from my biker outfit to my dress in about 60 seconds. More daringness. I’m going to have to watch what I say… I’m on the Internet.

  23. Friar Says:

    @Fee
    I think the answer had something to do with the anchor displacing it’s own weight in water while it was in the boat, but only displacing it’s only volume when you chucked it overboard.

    Whatever..I was too fed up to ever solve it (To this day, even). I guess you could google it if you wanted to.

    @Kyddryn
    No doubt, you’ve gone through your share of bad inteviews.

    Women were really jerked around back then, and no denying they still are. But in some cases, I’ve seen reverse discrimination. For example, if you’re a female applying for an Engineering Professor job. It actually really HELPS to be a woman. Or there are jobs at the Federal Govt. for “Women and visible minorities ONLY”.

    I really like the story of your FH telling the interviewer to Eff off. Companies need to see more of this push-back.

    @Brett
    Yeah, the old generation believed with sticking with a company for better or worse. (Hmph..it’s this “Old School” mentality that kills it for the rest of us).

    Especially, since you cant’ trust any job to be permanent. Nowadays, we’re expected to be laid off 2-3 times in our careers. I’m already 2 for 3.

  24. Friar Says:

    @Kelly
    That being skinny/beautiful certainly doesn’t hurt. Even after one is hired (Not that I know from first-hand experience, but I’ve seen it happen to others).

    As for the shoes. Jeezus Christ. As long as they’re casual dress shoes (not dirty sneaker) and they’re clean…I don’t see what the big deal is. Interviewers need to lighten up.

    @Karen
    I went through a whole pile of interviews back 5 years ago when I was looking for work. I had so many bad/stupid/unbelievable experiences I think I could write a book on it.

    You bring up a good point about the homeless finding jobs. It kind of bugs me, because cities are willing to dish out millions of dollars for safe injection sites.

    Why not safe shower sites? Where the homeless can clean themselves up and are given a decent set of clothes to find a job with?

    If I had to put my money anywhere, I’d rather it be put THERE…instead of enabling others from pursuing bad habits.

    @Brett
    I love that story of you and Swagelock.

    What these idiot companies don’t realize, is that we’re interviewing THEM as much as they’re interviewing US.

    And if a company is going to obsess over stupid details and judge you on that…just for the interview….that’s a good indication of how you’ll get treated down the road, once you’re hired.

    @XUP
    Well, I have to respectfully disagree with you there…because YES, they are bad, BAD employers.

    And (to be honest), I find the Fed. Govt. is NOT the most progressive institution, when it comes to hiring new blood. 😉

    Obviously, you can’t show up wearing a ratty T-shirt and sneakers, and act like an idiot. First impressions DO count.

    But when you show up well-groomed, on your best behavior, ready to an honest dialogue with your interviewer…and you’re an experienced professional with a solid track record… you dont’ NEED these kind of bullshit head games.

    Like Brett mentioned…the petty ways they might decide to eliminate you says a lot about the company.

  25. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy
    Well, yeah…it’s a given that idiots like those you mention will never get hired.

    But I’ve seen enough examples of serious candidates (not just myself) still get treated like crap and judged unfairly.

    Just like you want to ask “If you dont’ want the job, why don’t you just say so?”. I’ve often wanted to ask: “If you obviously didnt’ want to hire me, why did you INTERVIEW me?”

    @XUP
    It frightens me too, that you and Eyeteaguy agree.

  26. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    EXCELLENT POINT! Thank you!

    What if I had written that a woman won’t get hired if she shows up with a shaved head and weird clothes?

    Two weeks ago, I expressed my opinion on this subject, and more than a few got really offended and tore a strip off me. Because that’s apparently being judgemental and misogynistic, etc.

    But now…we’re defending employers for doing the same thing.

    (*throwing my hands up in the air*).

    Okay. I give up. Everyone else is right. I’m wrong. I have no valid opinion.

    PS. Yes..if they really WANT to hire you, they will. (Like writing the job description after-the-fact to match you to a tee)

    @Kelly
    Yess!!! At least you (and hopefully a few of us) GET IT. That (despite the granola crunchers denials, and if it’s fair or not) physical appearance DOES matter. Especially in terms of finding a job and/or a mate.

    At least knowing the rules, helps you play the game.

    @XUP

    “People go to a hell of a lot of time, trouble and expense to present themselves to the world in a way that they would like to be perceived.”

    Well, yeah. Exactly. That was the point I was implying, when I wrote my post a few weeks ago, when I (dared) comment on women dressing and trying to look like men, and shaving their heads…etc.

    Like Brett points out, double standard here. We’re NOT supposed to judge people by how they look (except for job interviews), where it’s okay.

  27. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy
    If you keep making comments like that…I don’t’ think my sister will like you anymore.

    @Patricia

    Sounds like you’re a veteran of a lot of bad interviews yourself!

    If you say your blog is making $10 a month, and you need $1400…I don’t’ think working harder will help. I suspect you’ll have to change your game plan.

    But I’m confident you’ll spring to action and figure something out!

    (PS. I feel sorry for you guys in the States with your health care..In Canada, at least that’s ONE thing we dont’ have to worry about)

    @davina
    These arent’ even my worst stories. I’ve had some bad interviews, that are worth a whole blog post alone!

    Changing in the elevator. I haven’t’ done that..but I’ve changed shirts in the back of the parking lot (to keep it fresh and not have it all sweaty from driving across town).

  28. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Friar, your sister wrote that last comment. It wasn’t me. I was out back playing with the kids.

  29. Brett Legree Says:

    It was Evil Eyeteaguy.

    You can tell him apart from Eyeteaguy because he has a goatee.

    Just like Evil Spock in “Mirror, Mirror”.

  30. Eyeteaguy Says:

    You’d be surprised at the the horrid things that have been said in my name.

    Brett is an ass.

    See, that wasn’t me! I just looked in the mirror and I have suddenly grown a goatee.

  31. Brett Legree Says:

    The problem with me is, though, I’m like Evil Kirk. I have the same devilish good looks, and I still get the hot chicks. I’ll still give you the “Kirk-Chop” (TM) when you’re not looking.

    Come to think of it, not much difference between Evil Kirk and regular Kirk…

  32. Friar Says:

    @Brett and Eyeteaguy

    How do I know it not like the South Park Episode (where the “Anti-Cartman” is actually a great guy?

    That would explain why Eyeteaguy’s been so nice, lately.

  33. Karen JL Says:

    @ Brett – Is your wife aware of all this “hot chick getting”? Hmm? HMMMM??

    Little known fact: Your partner will let you off the hook if you meet a green chick. Great loophole, don’t you think? 😉

  34. Brett Legree Says:

    @Karen JL,

    She has an assortment of Star Trek costumes in her closet, including green paint 😉

  35. Friar Says:

    @Karen JL
    Yeah..let’s see how well your partner will let you off the hook…when they ACTUALLY discover the Green-Chick Planet!

  36. Karen JL Says:

    @ Friar – Will you be leading that expedition?

    @ Brett – You lucky dog. 😉

  37. Friar Says:

    @Karen JL

    …Just so long as I’m not one of those guys wearing the red jersey.

  38. Mer Says:

    Two weeks ago, I expressed my opinion on this subject, and more than a few got really offended and tore a strip off me. Because that’s apparently being judgemental and misogynistic, etc.

    (*throwing my hands up in the air*).

    Okay. I give up. Everyone else is right. I’m wrong. I have no valid opinion.

    Silly Friar, Trix are for kids! Of course you have a valid opinion! There are just some things that aren’t worth getting your tux in a twist. If you ever thought I was tearing things off you–I’m assuming a few layers of skin, like flaying you alive–then I’m sorry. 😦 I certainly didn’t mean to. I’m just giving you a little bit of a hard time. Let me know if I bother you that way, OK? Just not in front of the guys, or they’ll *never* let you hear
    the end of it.

    @ Brett

    Just like Evil Spock in “Mirror, Mirror.'”

    ROFLMAO! I loved that episode. (BTW, Evil Spock will always be hotter than Evil Kirk. I’m just sayin.’)

    Mer 😉

  39. Brett Legree Says:

    Wha?

    Evil Spock is hotter than Evil Kirk??? Well, probably true…

    (*grows goatee*)

  40. Friar Says:

    @Mer

    Oh, …my rant wasn’t about you. You’re actually one of my favorite commenters. 🙂 It’s all in good fun.

    But there were a few others that (heh heh), didn’t quite see eye-to-eye with me, though.

    @Brett
    Would the Evil Green-skinned chick have a goatee?

    (Still, that wouldn’t be so bad…)

  41. Brett Legree Says:

    Depends where the goatee is, I suppose 😉

  42. Mer Says:

    Thank you! 😀

    I’m glad I didn’t seem nasty. It can happen sometimes when I’m not aware of it–until someone says I just engaged in flaming.

    The other people who were super-critical and angry don’t seem to know what kind of person you are. (I just happen to know you through Amy, so I figure all that assessment of character thing has been done for me. I trust her judgment.) If they did, they would lighten up. This is a H U M O R O U S blog, after all. With comic strips and such. It’s not like you’re going out of your way to be a beastly misogynist oinker actively reviling their ideals.

    ::shrugs::

    You have just seen my Defend-The-Innocent complex in action. Late and all. But there it was.

    Mer

  43. Mer Says:

    @ Brett

    ::pretends excess of shock::

    ::rolls eyes::

    Mer 😉

  44. Friar Says:

    @Brett and Mer

    “Depends where the goatee is, I suppose.”

    Hmm. That could tickle.

  45. trishothinks Says:

    Friar,

    I’m having a hard time believing that you had an interview at a pub called “The Thrusting Pig”…especially getting a drink before? Please tell me where I can get an interview at a pub (or at least not in a stuffy office)…lol.

    Trisho

  46. Friar Says:

    @Trishothinks

    Okay…I was a bit liberal with the pub’s name.

    But I assure you, the interview WAS in a pub. The sales reps were having lunch there, and they’d decided to kill two birds with one stone, and interview me.

    Though it was such a miserable interview…I might have been better off in an office…


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