Blogo-Land Blow-Out Sale! Buy Now!

Blog Title

Blog Title LeftBlog Title Right

1.  Virtual Chairs

BlogoLand 2

Left over from those “limited seating” Webinars, where nobody showed up.

Price: $2.00 Each.  (Or $10.00 per thousand)


2.  Astrological Meat-Shelter™

BlogoLand 3 Basically, a big sack o’ meat.  Mimics a mother’s womb.  Protects against bad star signs.

Great place to hide out during unfavorable horoscopes, till things settle down.
(Caution:   Meat-Shelter™ is only good for a day or so, unless your entire apartment is refrigerated.)

Price: $4.99/lb.


3.   1521 Ways to Simplify Your Life

BlogoLand 8

Price: Depends.   Phone our billing department at 1-800-555-KNOB to enquire about special deals, which vary by region.  Enquire about our 47-week payment plan,  or buy the DVD with option to get the book, unless you think otherwise, and prefer to make a 15% down-payment, and then it’s a monthly cost, minus Laotian sales tax, but only if you live in the Western Hemisphere.


4.  Avatar Paint

BlogoLand 4

Fill in your Twitter Avatar in the color of your choice, to show your half-assed support for the latest flavor-of-the-month cause.

Available in Grating Green, Righteous Red, or Smug Salmon

Price: $15.99 per can (good for 120 Tweets).


5.   Whale Fart Aromatherapy
Blogoland 7

Our highly-trained scuba divers have been spanning the globe, carefully trapping and bottling the delicate off-gases from our noble Cetacean Sea-Brethren.

Known to have therapeutic powers.   Once you experience what 10,000 pounds of digested krill smell like,  believe me, you will never forget.

Price: A steal at $1000 per bottle. (If you think that’s expensive, YOU try to play along when Shamu tells you to “Pull my flipper”.)


6.  Vegan Cat Food

BlogoLand 5

Teach Kitty to be more environmental-friendly with these nourishing dishes he will just love.

Available in Lentil-Raisin,  Mango-Chutney, and  Lima-Bean-Tofu.

Price: $20.99 a can (but it’s a small price to pay for saving the planet)

7.   The Big Book of Quotes

BlogoLand 10

Feeling inferior to those quote-tards who constantly cite famous people you’ve never heard of before?  Tired for searching hundreds of blogs every day, for that one inspirational bit of wisdom, without which your pathetic life would cease to have all meaning?

The Big Book of Quotes is the answer to your problems. It’s got everything everyone’s EVER said, from Gronk the Neanderthal’s discovery of fire (“Ook-Tah!”) to the Albert Einstein stubbing his toe (“Ach!   Fuch!”).  It’s all there.

Once you’ve got this book, you’ll never have a shortage of witty things to cut and paste.  And now YOU can appear smart, too.

Price;    $12,000 (plus rental of the Chinook helicopter for shipping and handling).

8. Organic Soot

BlogoLand 9

Obtained pesticide-free, from free-trade laborers burning down virgin Ecuadorian rain forest.

Now you can leave your carbon footprint with good conscience, knowing that you’re doing your part to help keep the planet black green.

Price: $1.99 per bag (good for 10 acres of forest)


9.  Clairvoyant Healing Chimp

BlogoLand 11Email us with a problem you want solved.  We’ll inform Bongo, our Certified Spiritual-Freedom Musical Healing-Chimp.

He’ll play with his flute.

He’s quite good at it.

(Actually, it’s hard to get him to stop, sometimes).

Bongo’s music will send out positive psychic Oprah-vibes to the universe, and your problem will be guaranteed to be solved (*).

Price: A bargain for $1500.  (Plus 20 banana pellets).

(*) Results may vary, and are not guaranteed.


10.  Snake Oil

BlogoLand 6

Over-all lubricant, helpful for digesting hard-to-swallow concepts.    Like earning $100K/year blogging about what your cat ate for breakfast, ponzi-scheme weight-loss diets, musical healing-chimps, and general social-media douche-baggery.

Apply liberally.

Price: $50 a bottle.  But buy now, because next week the price doubles triples quintuples.

********************

BlogoLand-Final

Advertisements
Explore posts in the same categories: Friar's Grab Bag

81 Comments on “Blogo-Land Blow-Out Sale! Buy Now!”

  1. Amy Says:

    I’ll take three. Of everything but the cat food.

  2. Karen JL Says:

    OK, the avatar paint one was pretty good.

    (Though the untwittered masses might not appreciate it as much.)

    …and I hope they discontinue ‘Grating Green’.

  3. Vicki Says:

    That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day. But I can’t really explain why.

  4. Friar Says:

    @Amy

    What? Even the bottled whale farts?

    (Geez, I hope I don’t run out!)

    @Karen
    Are there untwittered masses who read blogs (besides my Mom, I mean?)

    @Vicki
    Thanks! It’s the funniest thing I wrote all day (But then again, it’s the ONLY thing I wrote all day).

  5. Davina Says:

    Is that Simplify Your Life book printed on recycled paper? Cause I’m a tree-hugger who cares. And, then… this is my other personality talking… “forget about the environment for a second”, cause I’ll take 1,000 copies of the Big Book of Quotes, because I KNOW that people will want me to autograph their copies for them. I have a huge following. I’m sure you’ve seen all my work being RTd over and over and over on Twitter.

  6. Davina Says:

    I need a cigarette 😉

  7. Amy Says:

    Sure. I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I have a few folks to buy gifts for…

  8. Blogger Dad Says:

    Love it! I like the big book of simplicity. We share the same strong dislikes. Perhaps we should write an ebook about the glut of useless ebooks out there and sell it at a webinar?

  9. Friar Says:

    @Davina

    Ohhh..okay. Just for you. The books are printed on free-trade Hemp Paper.

    @Amy
    Well, you better buy SOON, then. Because those virtual chairs aren’t gonna be around forever.

    @Blogger Dad
    And E-book about E-books.

    We’ve reached the pinnacle (or Nadir) of civilization, I reckon.

  10. Karen JL Says:

    @ Friar & Blogger Dad – Then after that, you could write an ebook about writing ebooks about ebooks.

  11. Friar Says:

    @Karen and Blogger Dad

    Soon, it will get to a point that nothing original will be produced any more. The only thing people will write about is writing about writing about writing about writing…

    I think we’re half-way there already, actually.

  12. Kyddryn Says:

    May I quote you on that?

    The only thing on the list that interested me was Mayor McCheese…because I’m hungry. Extra onions, please.

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who uses quotes, yes she does, and isn’t even a little sorry for it, so there)(and I’m not buying an e-book – they’re suspect. I won’t buy a book I can’t hold in my hand whilst hearing the trees cry out “Why? Why??”)

  13. Brett Legree Says:

    You forgot about “Potty Mouth Street Cred”.

    You know, you combine three or four of these things above with a fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck shit bitch fuck fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck bitch.

    Ass.

    See?

    Makes you want to buy it already, right?

  14. Friar Says:

    @Kyddryn

    There’s a difference between giving the odd quote, and being a quote-tard.

    A quote-tard is someone who does nothing BUT. They don’t write any original thoughts of their own. All the do is cut and paste from somewhere else. They’ll do dozens a day on Twitter.

    As for trees crying (Whyyyyyy….?) 😮

    Well, there’s always E-books.

    But that requires a computer and the internet.

    Which requires a smelter, to process the ores into copper, gold and steel to help make the computers. Semiconductor plants to make the silicon chips. Petroleum refineries and polymer processing plants to make plastic.

    Not to mention the huge carbon footprint to power all those factories. Using non-renewable resources like coal, petroleum, and natural gas.

    As opposed to an old fashioned analog book. Which requires a logging operation, a paper mill, and a printing/book-binding shop.

    I dunno…books seem greener. 🙂

  15. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I agree with everybody. Gosh Friar, you are so awesome! If you would write an e-book, I’d buy 5. You have a great community here but you really should put more into it. Like free cartoons for people who ask.

    Its true, I took your advice and now my blog is so awesome! You can see how I did my buying my e-book. How I made my life like Friar’s and now I am happy and free and blah, blah, blah.

    I’m with Brett, f*** the f***ing f***ers.

    Eyeteaguy

  16. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    Fuck, you’re right.

    If there was a fucking book like that, fuck, I’d buy the fucking thing myself.

  17. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Man oh man. Frair’s mom is gonna wash all our mouths out with soap…..

  18. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    Actually, now that I think of it, your comment is a big vulgar.

    In the future, please consider rewording your cuss words with the following:

    fuck: Replace with “Sugary Sweet Donut Hole”.
    shit: Replace with “Delicious chocolaty treat”
    bitch: Replace with “Warm fuzzy Puppy-friend”
    ass: Replace with “Soft Silky Pillow-Clouds”.

  19. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    I was just gonna say that. Friar’s Mom’s gonna give us shit. BIG TIME.

  20. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Ooh, I SO agree.

    It’s people like you who contribute to the Community and make my blogging worthwhile.

    As for free cartoons, well, you already got that one, a few months ago.

    But how many more would you like? Five? Ten?

  21. Brett Legree Says:

    @Friar,

    Don’t you mean that Friar’s Mom will give us a “delicious chocolatey treat”?

    Sugary sweet donut hole!

    heh heh

  22. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Frair, you should know as well as anybody that you are only as good as your last cartoon or post.

    I’ll expect my next free drawing in the mail.

    You sure are one crazy mother Fat Ugly Cream Kicker.

    Eye#*!guy

  23. XUP Says:

    I’ll take the 3 cans of vegan cat food that Amy didn’t want. I’ll eat them myself. They sound quite yummy and also my cat only eats fish and birds. And also the food will go well with the vegan shoes I’m wearing right now. YES! I’m wearing vegan shoes. How crazy is that. They were a gift. They look and smell like leather, but I think they’re made of soybeans. They’re very comfortable. You think I’m kidding don’t you?

  24. Brett Legree Says:

    @XUP,

    See, this is why vegans are *evil*.

    I mean, think of the poor children who could have eaten those soybeans. Now all they’ll have is some discarded leather to chew, and they’ll starve to death.

    WHY CAN’T WE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!

  25. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I have a vegan friend. He was admitted to hospital for malnutrition.

    Then he and his vegan wife wanted to have kids. Turns out she hasn’t had a period in 2 years!

    So they both started eating meat. She is pregnant and he doesn’t have see through skin anymore.

    That is all I need to know about vegans.

    Eyecarnivoreguy

  26. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    I think Friar’s Mom is too busy babysitting Tipper-Daug right now, to worry about our juvenile shenanigans.

    (Rainbow Sprinkles and Fudge Tarts!)

    @Eyeteaguy

    Well, my last cartoon was of Mayor McCheese. Which I think is pretty good.

    So I MUST be pretty good (if not just for today).

    @XUP
    Re: “You think I’m kidding, don’t you?”

    Actually, not really.

    In fact, it doesn’t surprise me at all. 🙂

    @Brett
    You kill a cow, that’s only one life. Yet it would provide enough leather to make many shoes.

    But how many soya bean plants are killed, to make a single pair of ersatz-leather birkenstocks?

    Hundreds, I bet. Thousands, maybe.

    And who’s to say, from the soya bean’s point of view, their life is no less valuable than the cows?

    Vegan shoes are MURDER.

    @Eyeteaguy

    I don’t understand Veganism.

    Vegetarians either.

    But at vegetarians can still eat cheese and eggs.

    So I could probably be a vegetarian, for short periods, but only at gunpoint.

    But would be a very very UNHAPPY Friar as a Vegan.

    And then my blogs would suck.

    (Well, more than they do now, at least.)

  27. Amy Says:

    Forgive my ignorance, but what are vegan shoes?

  28. Karen JL Says:

    Oh, for “Sugary Sweet Donut Hole”‘s sake. EAT your stupid rancid meat, already. Nobody cares.

    “Barbara Streisand!!”

  29. Blogger Dad Says:

    @amy Vegan shoes are shoes not made from cow/pig/dog/cat-derived leather. Rather, they are made from humans.

  30. Friar Says:

    @Amy

    I honestly have no idea.

    But if XUP says they exist, I take her word for it.

    @Karen JL

    (*raises hand*).

    Can I have some BACON with my rancid meat?

    (Céline Dion!!)

  31. Friar Says:

    @BloggerDad

    Aren’t you getting them mixed up with Soylen-Green shoes?

  32. Brett Legree Says:

    I was thinking maybe vegan shoes are shoes that don’t eat animals or use animal products.

    So non-vegan shoes eat at Burger King, apparently. That must be why my shoes smell like shit.

    I have a friend who is a meatatarian. If he even looks at a woman, she gets pregnant.

    I read an article today in a real newspaper (Holy fucking shit, Batman – a newspaper!) about the paleo diet.

    You know, the idea being that our ancestors, the cavepeople, ate better than we do, and we should eat like them too.

    Never mind that most of them died by age 30 from such “deadly” afflictions as cavities, small cuts, and so forth.

    Anyway…

    Since it was in a *real newspaper* they had a person who actually knew what the fuck she was talking about, and they asked her if we could all eat a paleo diet and how that would work out.

    She said, “sure – the only problem is, Planet Earth could only support about 30 million people if we abandoned our current practices and went exclusively paleo”.

    So – which of us gets to be in the 30 million?

    🙂

  33. Amy Says:

    Hmmm… I know someone who makes hemp sandals. (Really.) I wonder if they are vegan. I do know they are very itchy! Shoes made out of human; now THAT’S a niche! If they’re made out of vegan humans, does that still count as vegan shoes? We might need to bring in a few cast members from Silence of the Lambs to clear all this up.

    All of this thinking has given me a bit of a headache. Time to rev up the Clairvoyant Healing Chimp, methinks.

  34. Brett Legree Says:

    Apparently a certain government in Europe about 70 years ago that was socialist and national 🙂 tried stuff like that (I believe they were making fabric out of human hair), and it didn’t work out too well for them…

    Speaking of sandals, I have 24 square feet of rawhide waiting to be turned into sandals…

  35. Friar Says:

    @Amy

    I’ll notify Bongo…he’s warming up his flute now, as we speak.

    @Brett

    Tom Hanks’ movie “Castaway” reminds us of how stupid things like an abscessed tooth would have been life-threatening ailments, not too long ago.

    Figure skating, anyone? 😉

    PS. For the 30 million, I VOLUNTEER! (*Raises hand*).

  36. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Figures, I leave for a second and we are hunting Nazis.
    Really people, didn’t we kick their asses enough?
    In reality it was hollywood that defeated Hitler, look at all the proof in the movies.
    And further proof? Elvis and Jimmy Stewart were there.
    Radar was invented by the movie people to broadcast their movies on TV.
    So to beat the Taliban we need to sic Disney on them.
    Go get Tom Cruise to find Bin Laden.
    And then make a three part sequel out of it.
    Yes, I have found the solution to our problems.

    Eyeteaguy

    P.S. Brett, I used your technique, works well.

  37. Brett Legree Says:

    Yeah, we kind of slipped that one in.
    Every time you turn around, we’re hunting Nazis.
    So how do you like my technique?

    Heck, we should all use it.
    Especially here.

    I like to eat vegan sandwiches.
    So there.

    🙂

  38. Friar Says:

    @Brett and Eyeteaguy

    Egads! Any time I try to write something funny or thoughtful, you guys show up and just hijack everthing. This, is the thanks I get for being a nice guy.

    Maybe next time, I’ll post more photos of my Teddy Bear.

    Eyeteaguy would LOVE that.

    PS. WHAT Technique?

  39. Brett Legree Says:

    I have another blog strategy to share.

    Start a blog that talks about how you want to change your life by setting simple goals and working to achieve them.

    Grow that blog into one of the most successful blogs around, quit your job, land a book deal.

    Then, once you’re successful, tell everyone that the secret to success is not to have goals.

    What the fuck???

    Which is it then???

  40. Brett Legree Says:

    PS – I didn’t use the technique there.

  41. Brett Legree Says:

    PPS – yes Friar, we’re being dickheads. And I’m still not using the technique.

  42. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    I didn’t use the technique, either.

    Whatever it is…

  43. Blogger Dad Says:

    Reminds me of my favorite Letterman Top 10 list. I forget the exact title, but it was something like, least popular expressions or something. “Hitlerific” was on it and made me laugh. I’d LOVE to see that on a book jacket. For something other than Mein Kampf. Perhaps a children’s book. If anyone wants to use me for a book quote, lemme know.

  44. Friar Says:

    @Blogger Dad

    “Hiterific”.

    Now..THAT’s guaranteed to boost book sales!

  45. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Hey, lets dig up Adolph Hitler.
    And kick his ass, ONE MORE TIME!
    In the end did we defeat him or did the Russians?
    Regardless, it was the last war anybody won.
    Yessir, 65 years of defeats have followed.

    Anyway, I think we were talking about eating vegans.
    Since the germans only gassed people and burned them
    so we really should be talking about Soylent Green.

    Eyeteaguy

  46. XUP Says:

    Eyeteaguy – your vegan friend who didn’t have a period for 2 years had a lot of other issues that had nothing to do with being vegan, I’m pretty sure.

    Friar – Sorry for setting off this string of unbridled hilarity at the notion of human beings not consuming animal flesh. It’s always guaranteed to bring the house down. I’m not sure why. I think it’s the same reactionary process that the Round World people used to inspire in the Flat World people back in the day.

  47. Davina Says:

    Save the HEMP! You said BITCH… forgot WHORE, BTW (I’m disappointed). I cried in Castaway when Tom Hanks lost his ball. I love my periods — Snort!

  48. Mer Says:

    @ Friar

    I’m glad Friar’s Mom is watching Tipper. I was gonna run away after the scary Jesus Sings to Stripper Dolls video.

    BTW, you’re in trouble with all the Oprah Mommies again…

    @ Brett

    Your friend, the meatitarian (sic?), has Industrial Strength Swimmers (TM). He could probably bottle that and sell it on the Internet. For Thanksgiving. Because that’s when the turkey basters are on sale.

    @ ITGuy

    I think Hitler had his gun for lunch and was defeated by his own cowardice. He found out the Allies were knocking on his bunker’s doorstep. 😀

    But if we send Tom Cruise off to find Osama Bin Laden, do we get rid of Mr. Cruise too?

    ::is hopeful::

    Now Soylent Green, well … That’s a new vegan trend ain’t it? 😉

    Mer, history major

  49. Davina Says:

    HEY! You’re at work! What are you doing in your blog comment section! 😉

  50. Brett Legree Says:

    @Mer,

    Perhaps a Super Soaker is in order (ewwwww…)

    “a” or “i” – Google has it both ways, I know (for meata(i)tarian).

    Friar, you’re a douche bag.

  51. Eyeteaguy Says:

    “I think Hitler had his gun for lunch and was defeated by his own cowardice.”

    I have never heard it said better, too bad it took 6 years to convince him.

    As for Tom, he has played the same character in every movie he has ever done. Namely himself. That ain’t acting son, that’s a model.

    Anyway, back to eating vegans, at least they would be fat free, and they are easy to catch because they have no energy.

    Eyeteaguy

  52. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Don’t you think Hitler’s rotting corpse should best be left alone?
    Only YOU would think that.
    (Unless Brett comes up with an even worse idea).

    Hey, I know how to deal with Vegans!
    Cultivate them in rows, like carrot and peas.
    Except the probably won’t keep still, and will run away from the bunnies trying to eat them.

    Bop them on the head, then (the Vegans, I mean!).
    And then they’d stay put.
    Great Idea, Friar! (pats himself on the back).

  53. Brett Legree Says:

    Basically, he screwed up by attacking Russia, as you know.
    Until that point, things were going well enough.

    The stupid bastard thought he was a god.

    Thankfully, he was wrong.

    People don’t realize how close we came, sometimes.

    I’m just glad that people had the balls to fight.
    Really, I’m not sure that we could do it today, we’ve got no stomach for it.

    And besides, where’s the oil? 🙂

    That’s what it’s all about, after all.

    Everything’s about oil…

  54. Friar Says:

    @XUP

    Oh, don’t mind these poltroons. When the Peanut Gallery is in one of their moods, it’s like a hair-trigger. ANYTHING can set off an avalanche of non-sense comments.

    The other time, it was Lame-ass dead fish, or a Teddy Bear. Today, it’s vegans.

    @Davina

    “I love my periods.”

    Geez, I hope you’re talking about punctuation, and not some OTHER kind of period.

    @Mer
    I’m on trouble with the Oprah Mommies?

    Where? (Happens so often, you’ll have to be more specific).

    @Davina
    Why..WHATEVER are you talking about? Can’t you see that my last comment wastime-stamped 5:11…well after normal office hours. 😉

    @Brett
    Actually, more like a Douchebag GEEK.

    (That is, according to another Peanut Gallery member, who’s not here right now).

    @Eyeteaguy

    C’mon…Tom Cruise is a GREAT actor! He’s got..such RANGE…such EMOTION.

    If you don’t agree with me, let’s recap some of the roles he’s played…

    Arrogant prick high-school student in “Risky Business”

    Arrogant prick fighter-jet pilot in “Top Gun”

    Arrogant prick football player in “All the Right Moves”

    Arrogant prick brother in “Rain Man”

    Arrogant prick lawyer in a “Few Good Men”

    Arrogant prick Nascar driver in “Days of Thunder”

    Arrogant prick sports agent in “Jerry McGuire”

    Arrogant prick secret agent in “Mission Impossible” (I through XVI).

  55. Brett Legree Says:

    @XUP,

    Like Friar said. We’re just being dickheads and so forth. My sister’s vegan and she does well enough. Never mind us, we’re just feeding off each other at this point 🙂

    @Friar,

    That’s what I like about this place – that’s why everyone LOVES to come here – lots of variety… 😉

  56. Friar Says:

    @XUP

    See?

    I have no control over these dickheads.

    And I have no idea where the next few comments are going to go.

  57. Davina Says:

    *Shaking head* Tisk, how right you are… it WAS 5:11… gee my mistake. Oh my Gawd… what a freakin’ sneak! Never really understood what women saw in Tom Cruise, but I did like him in The Firm. Jack Nicholson is #1 in my books — “You can’t handle the truth!”

    Hey Brett… try to calm down will ya 🙂

  58. Brett Legree Says:

    LOL Davina, I’m just trying to send Friar a message 😉

  59. Friar Says:

    @Davina

    Actually, in real life, Tom Cruise is only 3 foot 11.

    (They always film him standing on a chair).

    And don’t mind Brett. Once his meds kick in, he’ll be FINE. 😉

  60. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    Great, lucky me! Of all the self-described dickheads out there in BlogoLand, I get stuck with you and Eyeteaguy.

    Nobody else, just YOU.

    Anyways, what were we just talking about? (Don’t remember anymore at this point, the comments from the Peanut Gallery are too loud)

  61. Brett Legree Says:

    Come on Friar… 🙂

    Unless we visit your blog daily, you’re a sad guy.

    Not only that, we’re your best commentators!

    That has to be worth something, right?

    Heh heh heh… Anyway… If it wasn’t for us, you’d know what the sound of one hand typing was. Right?

  62. Eyeteaguy Says:

    For Pete’s sake guys, you always go too far. Unless we calm down a bit, the net Nazis will get us. Can’t you see what you are doing is morally wrong? Knowledge of our evil plans will leak to Al Gore and he’ll write a documentary about us.

    Eyeteaguy

  63. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    Sooner or later, you guys will tire out. Maybe then, I can get some peace. (Except, that’s usually when you’ll start up again). Going nuts. Making everyone scared (do you SEE any other commenters here right now?)

    Although I admit, it DOES make for an interesting comment discussion.

  64. Brett Legree Says:

    Sooner or later, but…

    Knowledge is my weapon, and I don’t tire easily.

    Unless I am drunk, then…

    Look out, pillow…

    Look out sheets, I’m down for the count.

    For what it’s worth, at least my parents got their money’s worth.

    University…

    Can you think of a better use for it?

    Kthxbye 😉

  65. Mer Says:

    @ Friar

    Bongo’s music will send out positive psychic Oprah-vibes to the universe, and your problem will be guaranteed to be solved (*).

    I think the OMs may get a little tweaked about that remark. Or at least they should…

    Making everyone scared (do you SEE any other commenters here right now?)

    Not scared. I have kids.

    ::ducks::

    Actually, I’m tired from arguing politics somewhere else. Someone in the GOP is thinking the time’s ripe for a good military coup.

  66. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Friar is scared that if we go away he will lose his readership. Entirely possible since we are the only entertainment value here.
    Let me be clear, you will lose all your ad revenue if we go away. Then where will you be?
    Catching z’s on the couch waiting for the phone to ring. Headhunters will avoid you like the plague after reading what we’ve done here.

    Eyeteaguy

  67. Friar Says:

    @Mer

    OM’s or not, I actually got the chimp idea from another blog.

    Someone claimed to have a healing drum. They had a client/friend on the phone who was feeling bad. So they hung up, played the drum, and phone their friend back.

    Claims that it worked, to.

    No. I am NOT making this up. (I forget the actual blog, though)

    @Eyeteaguy
    Come on! Let it go, will ya? Isn’t this game of stupid-comment tag getting old?

    Think of some new material.

  68. Friar Says:

    @Mer

    PS. Nobody checked out the (*)asterisk.

    There’s actually text there, but in very light color.

  69. XUP Says:

    No worries ya’ll. I’m always fascinated to see where the comments are going to go next. I think this is the only blog I know of that ends up with 100 comments and really has only 5(ish) commenters. And you forgot Tom’s greatest role as Tom Cruise, asshole prick.

  70. Friar Says:

    @XUP

    Yeah, for every 100 comments, if you subtract me, Brett and Eyeteaguy, that probably only leaves 5-10 “real” people.

    And how silly of me to forget…Tom Cruise as Tom Cruise.

    It’s like he was BORN to play that role.

  71. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Getting old? I have only just begun. Try it big guy, moderate me.

    Eyeteaguy

  72. Mer Says:

    Friar has ad revenue? If so, he’s hidden his ads really well.

    ::applauds ad hiding::

    I couldn’t see what was after the asterisk. I could lay the blame on my age or the fact that I’m not wearing reading glasses, but the color kinda faded into the ivory there.

    @XUP

    I thought Tom Cruise was actually pretty good in “Collateral.” He took Arrogant Prick to a new level. 😉

  73. Brett Legree Says:

    Forsooth Friar, I saw it.

    And, I said nothing…

    Good thing, or I’d have spoiled the –

    Surprise!

  74. Friar Says:

    @Mer

    I have ZERO revenue from this blog. Eyeteaguy’s on crack, or something.

    @Brett and Eyeteaguy

    These dumb comments just go on and ON…Each of you seems to have reached a new level of stupidity. And I don’t know WTF you’re up to.

    But it’s better than blogging about Social Media Snake-Oil, or quoting something inspiring about little Timmy who fell down the Well.

    And it provides me with some amusement.

    Gotta give it THAT much, I admit.


  75. The funny thing is that you probably COULD sell some of these things.

  76. Friar Says:

    @Tony

    I know…

    I wonder if I should be kicking myself for letting these business opportunities go by…

  77. Donald Mills Says:

    Those are all wonderful, Friar, and funny as Hell. Hard to pick a favourite. The meat sack was looking good, and the healing chimp is pretty inspired but at the end of the day I have to say Vegan cat food is the hands down winner (It was the Lentil-Raisan that put it over the edge). Great illustrations too.

  78. Friar Says:

    @Don

    The meat sack is my favorite. If it doesn’t work out, then you can always use it to make a good pot roast.

    If you have a cat of your own, maybe they might like some of that special Lentil-raisin blend. I bet you it would probably help keep them regular.

    I suppose humans could try it too, but I wouldn’t recommend it, though.

    Always glad when you drop by…

    – Friar

  79. Ed Says:

    Great read guys. Hijacked or not, great for a few minutes of fun.

    PS
    So you like my Uncle Jack? I think in some of his roles,(A few good men) he is standing on a chair too.

  80. Friar Says:

    @Ed

    My favorite Jack quote is from “Five Easy Pieces”.

    Where he (Bobby) wants plain toast which isn’t on the menu.

    “I’d like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce. And a cup of coffee.

    Waitress: “A #2, chicken salad sand. Hold the butter, the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?”

    Bobby: “Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken, bring me the toast, give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich, and you haven’t broken any rules.”

    Waitress: You want me to hold the chicken, huh?

    Bobby: “I want you to hold it between your knees”


  81. […] The Deep Friar adds a unique, and humorous angle to this troubling […]


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: