Legitimate Ways to Passively-Aggressively Fight the Man.
Disclaimer: Use only if it doesn’t affect safety, and if you’ve reached that Zen-like state of apathy-burnout and are willing to suffer the consequences.
Take the elevator instead of the stairs, even if your office is on the 2nd floor. (Don’t give the workplace any more energy than you absolutely have to). You can do your exercise when you get home, when your “real” life starts.
If you’re a highly-trained professional, and you’re given a menial task, just do it. Relish the though of how much money these bosons are wasting, paying your salary to do something a high-school kid can do. And while you’re at it, take your time to make sure the job’s done RIGHT.
Turn down any “promotion” that requires more work but doesn’t increase your pay. (It’s never happened to me before, but I’ve seen colleagues do this, and I admire them for it).
If there’s a legitimate safety concern that could delay the project, run with it. Notify your supervisors via company email (now it’s on record). This is a double bonus, because not only will they have to deal with it, but you’ve done the right thing, morally and ethically. This is one you can feel good about (even though you might end up in the dog-house).
If a toxic boss is making a jackass of themselves in a meeting because they don’t have their facts right, just keep your mouth shut and let ’em ramble on. (Besides, you’d probably get scolded for correcting them).
When they ask for volunteers for extra duty (i.e. Emergency Steward or First Aid Rep), don’t. It’s not like you’ll make less money.
During meetings scheduled during lunch, bring your food with you. Make a point to eat noisily, and try to make a mess. (Sloppy Joes work best).
Any left-over cans of pop or juice from meetings are fair game. Fill your pockets. (They’ve already been paid for…and who’s to say how many drinks you’re allowed?)
If there’s a real lame-ass task and you’re given a deadline (i.e. clean the papers off your desk by next week), do it JUST before the deadlines. Not one minute sooner.
Politely decline company social events held during office hours, where you’re expected to use your own vacation time to attend. (Seriously, you have GOT to be shitting me!)
Don’t be one of those martrys-poltroons who never take a break, and then retire with 26 weeks of unused vacation. Spend as much time away form the office as you’re officially allowed to. Use ALL your vacation days and free floater days and banked time, etc. Never carry anything over, unless you’re planning on an even longer break the following year.
If you have decent benefits, and you’re having major surgery, don’t be a Jesus-hero. Milk the sick leave as long as you can. If the doctor says recovery will be four-to-six weeks, take the full six. He’ll write you a note, and they can’t say anything. The company will survive. Besides, you’re entitled.
If you see a way of slightly improving something (i.e. making a spreadsheet more efficient), keep your mouth shut. Let the Bean-Counters muddle their way through as they always have. (Besides, they KNOW better…if you question their methods, they’ll resent you).
De-Recruit. If a summer-student is considering working here permanently when they graduate, candidly take them aside and tell them the God’s honest truth about this place. Again, this is one you can feel good about. You’re doing the kid a favor.
If you get scolded for chatting too much at work, then talk about work-related matters to the person who scolded you, and ONLY work-related items. Be a robot in front of them. (After all, isn’t that what they wanted?)
Finally, don’t question, don’t’ argue, don’t’ THINK… Do EXACTLY what they tell you. (And be careful to document it via email).
….Given the way some companies work, often that alone will be enough to grind the process to a screeching halt.