Ursine Conundrum

Does a bear shit poop in the woods?


But I do know for sure that he does, in my back yard.


And given the size of the deuce that he left,Β  this time, I can’t really blame it on Junior.


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44 Comments on “Ursine Conundrum”

  1. XUP Says:

    I’m the first to comment!! Yay. Too bad I have nothing intelligent to say about a pile of bear poop.

  2. Friar Says:


    Wow…you certainly didn’t waste any time. We’re talking literally a minute or two since I posted this!

    One thing you could have said was: “What a shitty post”.

    That’s what Eyeteaguy is probably dying to say. Too bad I beat him to it. πŸ˜‰

  3. Brett Legree Says:

    One thing’s for sure:

    Friar knows his shit.

    Shit happens at The Deep Friar.

    You’d best not leave Junior Bear outside, or he might end up as a wipe πŸ˜‰ he’s nice and fuzzy, after all.

  4. Friar Says:


    I think that’s about the worst thing that could happen to any living creature.

    To be used as Arse-wipe, by someone bigger.

    Junior’s staying inside tonight.

  5. Brett Legree Says:


    “To be used as Arse-wipe, by someone bigger.”

    Happens every day, at some workplaces we know πŸ˜‰

  6. Friar Says:


    Some workplaces even have a specific Department of Arse-Wipe, to be devoted entirely to that activity.

  7. Karen JL Says:

    You’ve sunk to a new low.

    A lame-ass-bear-shit post.


    (If we all say “shit” too much, it will start a plague. Be careful.)

  8. Brett Legree Says:

    I think an all-new-low would be a snake shit post.

    I mean, nothing’s lower than snake shit, right?

  9. Friar Says:


    Oh, come on. This isn’t the first time I’ve posted pictures of feces.


    And I bet you I get a lot more comments on this post, than the last one (where I actually spent some effort trying to string some sentences together). πŸ™‚


    How about Senior Management’s ?

  10. Brett Legree Says:


    True enough… and here’s their theme song.

    (You knew that was coming, right?)

  11. Karen JL Says:

    I want to know where all the squirrel shit is. Those little guys are everywhere but do you ever see their shit? No!

    *insert creepy X-files music here*

    (How about senior management’s I.Q.?)

  12. Davina Says:

    I can’t believe I just put my face REAL close to the screen to see if there were any seeds in this. Good Lord! Ew… Junior Bear is just a little too close for comfort to that pile a…shit. I’d be throwing him in the wash now before snuggy time. Sweet dreams — yuck! πŸ™‚

    PS… Sorry Friar’s Mom, but I’m thinking that Junior Bear is praying to be drop-kicked outta sight this time.

  13. Amy Says:

    I know a few Poop Experts on Twitter. Shall I call them over to consult on the bear poop? HAHAHAHA.

    Poor little stuffed bear is probably contaminated now. 😐

  14. Friar Says:

    Ahhh…WONDERFUL quality music, the whole family can enjoy.

    Do you know where to get the CD? I might consider getting that for Friar’s Mom, for Christmas. πŸ˜‰

    Squirrels or so anal (sitting in the trees, going “TTTTTTTT”, scolding every one), I don’t think they poop at all. They just self-implode, after a year or so.


    Dont’ worry. Junior was VERY careful to stay away and not touch the shit-pile.

    He’s a fastidious bear, he is.

    A while ago on Twitter, if you said “Poop”, a product called Colon-Blow would automatically follow you.

    Dunno if it still works.

  15. Amy Says:

    Friar — I’ll try not to do that then. I don’t want to get Colon Blown. (Good Grief!)

  16. Friar Says:


    Supposed to clean you out and get rid of “toxins”.

    Brett said he checked out the video. (It was apparently quite graphic).

    I am so NOT interested.

  17. Captain Push Says:


    You are our friend and Fanny and I love you. That said, you should not engage in Teddy abuse. Having him sit next to that steaming pile of poo was incomprehensible.

    Fanny will spank your fat ass the next time we get together.

    We’re all looking forward to that event and it will be posted on Youtube.

  18. Friar Says:


    The pile was not steaming..I think it must have been there for a while.

    But dont’ blame me. Junior insisted on checking it out himself. He said it might have come from someone he knew. Maybe a large cousin.

    And like I said…he’s a very fastidious bear…he was quite careful not to touch it.

  19. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Most people are saying that Jenson Button is not a worthy F1 World Champion (if he indeed wins). They say he has not won a race since Turkey in April and is just in cruise and collect mode.

    To that I have five things to say.

    1. He has won 6 races, if the proposed madal system was in place we would be champion by now.
    2. He is the only driver to collect points in every race (except the one where he was taken out by a rookie on the first lap)
    3. He passes people. In a year where overtaking was sopposed to be easier he is the only one passing people on the track.
    4. He made hay while the sun shone. While his team mate in an identical car was crashing, driving poorly and beating up his machine. Jenson won six wins in seven races. Now that the car is not as fast, compatitively speaking, he is still collecting points.
    5. He has not damaged his car. No first corner incidents, not ill advised passes, no dead engines, brunt brakes or mechanical gremlins. And he has had no penalies, clean drives all of them.

    If he wins its because he has the most points, no matter when or how he got theem.

    That’s a champion in my book.


  20. Brett Legree Says:


    Mickey Mouse killed seven in one blow.

  21. Brett Legree Says:

    Or was it seven at one blow, or seven with one blow. Can’t remember, watch the video.

  22. Friar Says:

    Wow. That’s really interesting stuff.

    Maybe you should blog about F1 racing, or something.

    One thing I never understood about that cartoon.

    They capture the giant, tie him up, and he sleeps there, and his breath turns the windmills that power the amusement park.

    But do they just LEAVE him there like that, forever?

    And if they do…how does he go to the bathroom?

  23. Karen JL Says:

    @ Friar – They untie him in the middle of the night so he can go shit on your lawn.

  24. Friar Says:


    Oh, great.

    That’s all I need in my yard, right now.


  25. Friar's Mom Says:

    Wee Friar,

    The correct terminolog is:

    Scat–Excrement, especally of an animal.

    Dung–Animal excrement, manure.

    That being said, I would refrain from walking alone at night.

  26. Brett Legree Says:

    I guess Friar *doesn’t* know shit after all πŸ™‚

  27. Friar Says:

    @Friar’s Mom

    I stand corrected. πŸ™‚


    Seems Friar’s Mom knows her shit, better I do!

  28. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Well I thought I had better help you out since this post was so lame by writing something interesting.

    Next you’ll be posting about the effing leaves falling off the trees.

    Oops, you already have…

  29. Friar Says:


    I write about leaves. Poop. Fishing. Dogs. The workplace.

    Yet none of it seems to please you.

    Please TELL me what it is you like to read. And I’ll try to accommodate you.



  30. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Keep trying, I’ll let you know.

  31. Friar Says:


    Maybe Vikings driving F1 Race-cars, taking their battle-axes to smash any computer with Microsoft Windows software.

  32. steph Says:

    For some reason, probably the way you wrote it and the pictures, I thought this incredibly funny!

    Wow. Bears in the backyard! I would have loved to have been there.

  33. steph Says:

    PS. That’s a nice-sized backyard! I love how you interrupted your mowing to shoot the picture. It seems high up. Where did you take it from?

  34. Friar Says:


    Actually, I think it’s pretty cool to have bears shit in one’s backyard. You’d NEVER get that in Southern Ontario.

    And, yes, I was so intrigued by this, I just HAD to interupt my mowing, and take the photo, while we still had daylight.

    Good thing I was paying attention…I almost RAN OVER the Bear-patty before I saw it.

    Could you IMAGINE the mess? πŸ™‚

  35. Friar Says:


    That would literally have been the shit hitting the fan (Or the mower blades..)

    PS. That’s only half my back yard (I’m pretty lucky).

  36. Friar's Mom Says:

    Wee Friar,

    Where are Junior Bear’s eyes? Has he grown blind with age, or did he close his eyes when he saw that massive bear turd?

    I just noticed that Junior Bear looks a bit bedraggled. Is he due for a once-in-a-lifetime wash and spin cycle? Or are you afraid he might spill his guts from too much aggitation?

  37. Friar Says:

    @Friar’s Mom

    Junior has eyes..they’re just hidden behind his fur…like those shaggy dogs.

    His fur is a bit matted…no doubt from being stuffed in my knapsack during all our adventures.

    I think he is due for a wash. (He’s had two in his lifetime, I reckon).

    Maybe he can have a bath next time I visit you. Your machine was more settings (like “gentle wash”). I’m afraid mine might destroy him.

    PS. Wow… I can’t believe this post got close to 40 comments. Eyeteauguy must be spinning in his grave.

  38. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I’m not dead, though I do feel like it sometimes, so I can’t be spinning.

    I am actually quite happy, when it gets to 50 I get my cheque.

    You can post about thin air or Seinfeld, and all your cool friends can comment witht their newest recipes. As long as the money flows baby.


  39. Friar Says:


    I tried to actually write something (my last post was about catching Wall-E).

    But is it my fault people comment more on photos of my Teddy Bear? Or Poop? (Or both?).

    Maybe I should just stop writing altogether. And let the discussion go where it wants to.

  40. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Ohhhh, don’t tease me.

  41. Friar Says:


    Well, if I stopped writing, then WHERE would you hang out?

    Not to many bloggers would tolerate your jiggery-pokery, besides me, you know.

  42. Eyeteaguy Says:

    That’s not true. I hang out a Brett’s. Even if he hasn’t posted in 6 years. I can pretty much say what I want there and amuse myself.

    And Brett has NEVER moderated me. Unlike some people we know…..butt-munch.


  43. Friar Says:


    I must admit..even you post more than Brett does.

    Yet he still maintains his entourage.

    He must be doin’ something behind the scenes.

    PS. Can’t you say “derriere masticator” instead of “butt-munch”?

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