Viking Training: Wii are the Warriors
One bright winter day in the village SmelBaäd, there was a knock on Clöst Aerfrök’s door.
“Why, it’s the Traveling Kilted One!”, he cheerfully exclaimed. “To what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?”
“I come bringing a gift: a new way to train your warriors to fight.”, said the Kilted One. “It’s called “Wii.”
“We?”, asked Clöst.
“Wii.”, replied the Kilted One.
“No! No! ….Wii! Wait an minute and you’ll Sii…er, I mean see.”
“Behold! Imaginary enemies, on the magic viewing screen! You can fight them over and over, and keep honing your battle skills.”
Before anyone could say anything, the Berserker rushed forward and cried “Enemies!!! NYARRRRGH!!!!”, and smashed the screen with his mace.
“I win!!!”, he exclaimed, as he gleefully continued to pound the pieces into the ground.
“You…you FOOLS!!!”, screamed the Kilted One. “Those enemies weren’t REAL! It was a simulation! You were supposed to have fought them with imaginary swords, using these special Wii controls!”
“Sword fight, eh?”, asked Lars. “Well, why didn’t you say so. That we DO understand!” Then he and Hagörf grabbed the controllers, and proceeded to duel with them.
“Though I don’t see the point of this…there is no cutting edge, and these strange devices break when we smash them together!”
Meanwhile, the Kilted One stood there, at a loss for words.
“Hey!”, cried the Berserker. “There are more of these Wee things in the bag.”
“And look…instead of using them as swords, it’s just as much fun to smash them on your head!”
“Hyargen! Hyargen! Hyargen!“, laughed Lars and Hagörf.
“Give us some! Let us ALL smash them on our heads!”.
Which they proceeded to do, until there was nothing left intact in the Kilted One’s bag.
“O Kilted One, that was a strange game, but FUN!”, said the Berserker. “What will you bring us next visit?”
“Groan.”, replied the Kilted One.
“Come”, Clöst said sympathetically. “I think you need a draft of ale. Or three. Believe me, that’s the only thing that helps in these situations.”
“It was a worthy idea. But perhaps this new technology is a bit too delicate and too sophisticated for the average Viking.”