Religion…or Blogging?

Religion:   Recognizes there is God, and only one God.
Blogging:  Recognizes there is Seth, and only one Seth. 

a

Religion:    The word  is spread by selected disciples.
Blogging:   The word is spread by selected A-List Cool-Kid bloggers.

a

Religion:   Beware of false prophets.  
Blogging:  Beware of self-appointed “Social Media Gurus”. 

a

Religion:    Missionaries give non-believers Bibles to read. 
Blogging:    Bloggers are on a mission to get non-believers to read their latest E-book.

a

Religion:   People confess their sins in order to achieve absolution from a priest.
Blogging:   Bloggers post their dark secrets and dirty laundry in order to achieve absolution from their readers. 

a

Religion:   Often involves repetitive rituals (like saying “”Hail Mary” 100 times on the rosary).
Blogging:   Often involves repetitive rituals (like commenting on 100 blogs a day)..

a

Religion:     “Amen.”
Blogging:     “Great post!”

a

Religion:    Martyrs will die for their beliefs. 
Blogging:   Martyrs will post,  no matter what.  Even if they’re sick, busy, or don’t feel like it.

a
Religion:     There is the Old Testament, and the New Testament
Blogging:   There is Blogging, and there is Twitter.

a

Religion:      The faithful wear certain types of clothes, to identify themselves as true believers.
Blogging:     The faithful will color their Twitter avatars, to identify themselves as true believers in the latest flavor-of-the-month cause.

a

Religion:    Heretics are burned at the stake
Blogging:   Disagree with one of the Cool Kids, and you’ll get crucified.

a

Relgion:       Followers look towards religious leaders for moral guidance and advice on how to live their lives.
Blogging:     Followers look towards other bloggers for moral guidance and advice on how to live their lives. 

a

Religion:      At church, they pass the collection plate.
Blogging:     “If you like this post, please feel free to make a donation via PayPal.”

pal.”

Religion:       Often involves periods of fasting.  
Blogging:      Also often involves period of fasting (as many “Professional” bloggers can’t afford to pay for groceries).

a

Religion:    Serious heretics are ex-communicated.
Blogging:   Serious heretics are denied access to service. 

a

Religion:   The ultimate goal is to achieve everlasting happiness in the Afterlife.
Blogging:  The ultimate goal is to earn “six figures” as “passive income”.

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34 Comments on “Religion…or Blogging?”


  1. I dunno on the last one. I know plenty of TV preachers whose goals are the same – to make a living, spewing things they don’t even believe and taking suckers’ money while not really doing any real work. Ever notice how many ‘former’ drug addicts, sex addicts, con artists and generally messed up people get involved in the “send God your money, check payable to me” racket?

    Funny post, as usual.

  2. Brett Legree Says:

    Religion: Takes itself too seriously for own good.
    Blogging: Takes itself too seriously for own good.

  3. Karen JL Says:

    I don’t believe in organized blogging.

  4. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Great post!

  5. Steph Says:

    Amen! (does that throw you for a loop?)

  6. dave1949 Says:

    I consider myself to be very bloggish but I don;t belong to any particular blogion.

    Good post by the way bit not good enoug for a donation.

  7. Deb Says:

    Ame…um…great pos…aw crap. Go heathens?

  8. Amy Says:

    Make a donation via paypal? HAHAHA.

    Oh, I’m sorry. Laughing in church is bad, right?

  9. Davina Says:

    Shit! You just reminded me that I hadn’t moved my PayPal donation button above the fold yet. Now it’s where everybody can see it. I’ll just sit back and wait for my millions to roll in. I can’t thank you enough. F**ck! Great post!!!!

  10. Davina Says:

    Maybe if I get enough donations I can get a boob job and a new photo for my blog/avatar. That would be AWESOME!

  11. Karen JL Says:

    @ Davina – Yes, your boobs have to be above the fold too. Get on that, stat! 😉

  12. Friar Says:

    @BloggerDad

    “… taking suckers’ money while not really doing any real work.”

    Do you mean bloggers, or TV evangelists? 🙂

    @Brett
    I know….good thing there’s still paganism, eh?

    @Karen
    The intentions of blogging are good. Just that the original message is often misinterpreted and gets lost.

    Perhaps if you looked deep within yourself, you will find it.

    @Eyeteaguy
    Blog be with you, my son.

    @Steph
    Um….yes?!?

    @dave1949
    Funny…you don’t sound very bloggish.

    But are you sure you don’t want to make a donation? It’s tax deductible, you know.

    @Deb
    Or…you can always check out this guy:

    http://www.venganza.org/

    @Amy
    Yes, you should be ashamed of yourself.

    Now, go Tweet 10 Hail Marys, and you’ll be forgiven, my child.

    @Davina
    Heh heh. Yeah, I wonder who’s made more money so far? Your Paypal donation box on your blog? Or my “paintings for sale” page on my blog? 😉

    @Karen
    Yes…go advise Davina about her boobs. You seem to be the resident expert on that subject.

    (Or…are you just trying to stir up the pot and get Brett and Eyeteaguy all excited again?)

  13. Karen JL Says:

    *whistles innocently*

  14. Brett Legree Says:

    @Davina,

    If all you need the boobs for is your avatar, just send me a picture of you “as-is”, Photoshop will take care of the rest…

  15. Davina Says:

    Wait, you sell paintings? Smug bastard! Either that, or you just farted. You know what you can do with that winky face…

    @Brett, thanks! Photoshop… now that’s two things I don’t have… well; make that 3. 🙂

    @Karen No worries, Brett’s on it… er… them.

  16. Friar Says:

    @Karen

    Yup….I suspected as much.

    @Davina
    This blog has resulted in a grand-total of two paintings being sold. From one person who approached me off-line. 😉

    It works out a comfortable three-figure income, though.

    @Brett
    There you go…a whole new career for you: “I will touch up your Avatar for food!”

  17. Brett Legree Says:

    @Davina,

    Well, technically I don’t have Photoshop either (at least, not legally heh heh)

    Normally I use a program called The GIMP which can be used much the same way, but if you say, “I’ll just do it with The GIMP”, people give you a really funny look!

    🙂

  18. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    When I think of “Gimp”,I think of that creepy guy on Pulp Fiction.

    What a stupid name for a graphics program. Couldn’t they come up with Solvex or TechnoDraw or something?

  19. Davina Says:

    Gimp me some boobs.

  20. Friar Says:

    @Davina

    Melon-sized, I assume?

    😉

  21. eyeteaguy Says:

    Die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.

    People suck.

    Hey Davina, Brett showed me your melons, they are very nice, you will like them.

    Eyepissedoffguy

  22. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Wow! Pretty strong reaction, there!

    What exactly prompted this?

  23. eyeteaguy Says:

    Let’s see. I have no budget, I have to make due with old shitty equipment but keep the systems up 100%.

    New guy blows into town and he hets a $2,500 laptop? For sales? Do you know what I could do with $2,500? A lot.

    SO I would like him to die so I can sell his laptop. I’d like to spend all that money so 150 people can benefit, not just one.

    I blame it on the bankers and their bonuses. I’m not sure if that really is the case but they make a nice big fat target.

    Eyebudgetguy

  24. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    That sucks…

    Geez. Considering you can get a decent adequate lap-top for $500….

    WTF does the guy need a $2500 one for?

    Maybe it comes with a gold-plated keyboard and a built-in espresso maker, that he needs for his job.

  25. Davina Says:

    I did a bit of research this morning. In case anyone’s wondering, there are three steps to tell if a melon is ripe: Sniff, Shake & Squeeze.

  26. Friar Says:

    @Davina

    That technique can also be good for testing the ripeness of (er…) other things, as well.

  27. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Casabas. Or cantellopes.

  28. eyeteaguy Says:

    Oh right. I thought you were going to says breasts and then offer to see if Davina’s or Karen were ripe.

    My mistake. Carry on.

    Eyeripeguy

  29. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Oh, surely I would NEVER suggest such a thing. :-0

    We’re all gentlemen here, at the Deep Friar.

  30. eyeteaguy Says:

    Uh, no we’re not. I’m a heathen just like you.

    In fact if this was a religion and you were our savior, I know which apostle I’d be.

    JUDAS!

    Now give me my silver.

    Eyejudasguy

  31. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    If it means anything, I was Jesus Christ in a church play when I was 12.

  32. Pauline Says:

    LOL@ “Religion: Recognizes there is God, and only one God.
    Blogging: Recognizes there is Seth, and only one Seth.”

    Too true!

  33. Friar Says:

    @Pauline

    Yes…Seth knows all..Seth sees all.


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