Rejected Offerings

Behold!  

 Though the attempt at home-made bread failed.   

It was placed at Odin’s feet, as an offering to the woodland creatures. 

The woodland creatures, however, did not appear to appreciate  the rock-hard substance…

…and knocked over Odin, in the process.

Ungrateful varmints.

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25 Comments on “Rejected Offerings”

  1. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Friar has cabin fever.

    Eyeteaguy

    P.S. FIRSTIES!!!!!

  2. Donald Mills Says:

    Is homemade bread supposed to look like Chinese bar-b-que pork?

  3. Anemone Says:

    Did the vikings even eat bread?

  4. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    Not cabin fever…maybe altitude sickness.

    You’ve gotten firsties a lot, lately. You must sit by the computer, just waiting for me to post something.

    @Don

    I know…that’s probably what threw the birds and squirrels off.

    @Anemone
    The Viking Wives probably made it and told their husbands: “Eat it! It’s good for you..it has fiber!”.

    But I suspect the men didn’t listen, and just stuck to their red meat and grog.

  5. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Don Mills,

    I use a breadmaker to make a delicous multigrain bread. At mile-high altitude the delicious loaf usually turns out to be light and fluffy.

    Unfortunately, in my haste I measured out an insufficient amount of water; hence the disasterous result was a heavy loaf which the Vikings could have used in their catapults.

    The local woodland creatues have barely made a dent in the loaf. Odin continues to watch over his offering, while I keep track how long it takes for the critters to nibble away at this multigrain concoction.

  6. Davina Says:

    That Odin is a cutie.
    Whenever I bake my bread the paddle always gets baked into the darn loaf. Ticks me off. There’s a hole in the loaf by the time I dig it out. That would be a nice Kinder Surprise for the woodland creatures.

  7. Friar's Mom Says:

    @Davina,

    I have a Black and Decker breadmaker. First, I make sure the post that the paddle fits on is clean. I oil both the paddle and the post before I add my ingredients. The paddle remains in the loaf but I carefully use a knife to cut the bread away from the paddle. Then the hole in loaf is minimal.

    I too get a huge hole in the loaf when the paddle sticks to the post, but not if I follow the above instructions.

    A cheeky squirrel has been nibbling away at Odin’s Offering.

  8. XUP Says:

    See now, I was getting a warm and fuzzy feeling during the post thinking that Friar had put on an apron and gotten all floury trying to bake some homemade bread and now was all sad because his attempt turned out badly — because that’s certainly what he implies. Then it turns out that Friar’s mom whipped this weird thing up in the Black & Decker bread maker. I’m just totally disillusioned now. Totally.

  9. Friar Says:

    @Davina

    I’m lazy and a no-good son. I let Friar’s Mom eat the holey parts of the loaf. I’ll start cutting off pieces once we get past the paddle-indent.

    @Friar’s Mom
    You must really be annoyed that the A-hold squirrel has been eating your offering instead of the biddy-birds that you wanted.

  10. Brett Legree Says:

    Mighty Alfodr is angry at the woodland creatures that did not take the offerings, and has unleashed a pestilence upon them.

    Perhaps the local critters have switched to a Paleo diet?

  11. Brett Legree Says:

    @Anemone,

    Let us ask the Viking Answer Lady:

    http://www.vikinganswerlady.com/food.shtml

    Apparently, they did eat bread.

    In solid and liquid form (ale!)

  12. Davina Says:

    @Friar’s Mom. You’re the second person to tell me to oil the paddle. I also have a Black and Decker breadmaker and if this works for you then I’m gonna try. Thanks.

    PS. The hole isn’t as big as I’ve made out; my annoyance is much bigger than the hole and much better oiled than the paddle 🙂

    @XUP Friar in an apron and all floury. Hahahahah! 😀 (Just peed myself laughing.)

    @Friar Gee whiz. I figured a Viking would just tear right into that loaf. Had no idea they were that particular 😉

  13. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ XUP

    If you read Friar correctly he said “Though the attempt at home-made bread failed”. He didn’t say “my attempt”. I guess I blew it when I discussed Davina’s breadmaker problem.

    @ Friar,

    Today, I placed an offering of soft stale buns at Odin’s feet. I set up my camera, and waited patiently, but the woodland creatures did not come.

    So much for the the Field of Dreams quote “If you build it, they will come”.

    The heck with them and the photo, I’m going x-country skiing.

  14. Brett Legree Says:

    I knew it. They’ve gone Paleo.

  15. Friar's Mom Says:

    @ Brett,

    Thanks to Wee Friar’s Blog, I learned that a Paleolithic Diet is a grain-free, bean-free, potato-free, dairy-free, and sugar-free diet. Ingredients used in the Paleo Diet are meat, fish, fruit, vegetables, nuts and berries. This is the food of true hunters and gatherers.

    Perhaps Odin warned the woodland creatures not to partake of the offering because it didn’t quite meet the Paleo Diet. The bread recipe calls for flour, oil, milk, salt, honey, multigrains, and yeast — items not available during the Paleolithic Era.

  16. Friar Says:

    @XUP

    As much as you might want to believe it…I’m not that handy when it comes to baking from scratch.

    Sorry to have let you down.

    @Davina
    My first priority would be to tear into the meat dish…the bread comes secondary.

    @Brett
    You always bring up interesting facts here, that others learn from.

    You should start a blog or something.

    @Friar’s Mom
    No…bread is no paleo.

    THough you can paleo it up by adding some meat in a nice sammitch.


  17. That is some nasty looking bread.

  18. Friar Says:

    @matthew

    It’s been there for quite a few days now, too.

    It’s giving the woodland varmints a run for their money!

  19. Brett Legree Says:

    Yeah, I could start a blog but it’s more fun to comment here 🙂

    (Plus if I write on my own blog, I have no time to go anywhere else… though I’m due for a post, I suppose…)

  20. Friar Says:

    @Brett

    “Yeah, I could start a blog but it’s more fun to comment here.”

    Yeah, you and Eyeteaguy BOTH!!

    You should be more like Karen JL. She doesn’t post often, but at least she TRIES.

  21. Eyeteaguy Says:

    @ Friar, you should take your foot out of your mouth and go see my blog.

  22. Friar Says:

    @Eyeteaguy

    I swear, the only reason you posted that, was to make me look bad. Because somehow you KNEW that, in the next few days, I was gonna comment about your lack of blogging.

    Not very nice, if you ask me.

  23. eyeteaguy Says:

    I’m kindof a dick that way.

    As you can see I don’t practice what I preach….on your blog.

    Eyeniceguy

  24. Friar Says:

    @Eyedickguy

    If you’re even nice to me, I’m going to wonder if something’s wrong, maybe you’re not feeling well.

  25. Brett Legree Says:

    I say to-MAY-to, you say to-MAH-to…


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