If Ski Resorts Were Run Like Your Typical Workplace
The ticket office would be located at the top of the hill, 500 vertical feet above the parking lot.
Nobody would be allowed on the ski lifts until they attended a “Pre-Ski Briefing” each morning.
The number of runs down the hill would be dictated by a Ski Permit, to be signed and authorized by the Ski Patrol, the Lift Supervisor and the Resort Manager.
Unfortunately, the Resort Manager would be in a 4-hour meeting discussing the color of the table-cloths in the restaurant. So nobody would be allowed on the slopes until he got back.
By the time the Resort Manager got back, then it would be time for the Ski Patroller’s break, so everyone would have to wait for yet another 35 minutes.
There would be signs posted every 20 feet, reminding everyone to be aware of the dangers of “Slipping and Falling” on the ice and snow.
Any time you fell down, or saw someone else do it, you would have to fill out a BPF (Butt-Plant Form).
Most chairlifts would only be 4 feet off the ground, to minimize the potential risk of falling from height. Anyone using it to would need to be trained in Fall Protection. They would have to wear a safety harness which must be clipped to an anchor point approved by a Certified Structural Engineer.
This would have to be done every time someone got on and off the chairlift. As a result, you’d be lucky to get to the top of the hill by quitting time.
Taking this into account, Management would increase the Ski Permit quota from 10 runs per day to 27. If these “Expectations” were not met, it would be considered “Unacceptable”.
80% of the trails would be bare, though, because Management would insist on the ski resort opening on April 1st.
A Consultant would be hired for $100,000. It would take him 4 months to recommend that the hill be opened in December instead.
The Consultant’s advice would be ignored.
On the bright side, however, $2,000,000 would be budgeted to conduct an “Optioneering Study” to determine why all the neighboring ski resorts are doing so much better.
The “Optioneering Study” would end up being 300% over budget, and would conclude that the hill be opened even later, on July 1st.
The resort would continue to bleed money, and would ask the government to bail them out.
The grant money would be spent on a state-of-the-art office building and swimming pool, for another Optioneering Study.