Real-Life Quotes Explaining Why I’m Not Exactly Eager to Jump On The Marriage Bandwagon Right Now

“You know, at this point in your life, Friar, you won’t find anyone your age who doesn’t have a lot of baggage.”

“I was ready to retire, but my wife and I split up.   After 30 years,  I just lost half my pension.   So I guess I’m going to have to keep working for a while.”

“Women like guys who are physically fit, Friar.   And well……LOOK at you…! ”

“Hear that?” (Referring to their toddler waking up and crying for the nth time).   “That…is the main reason we finally decided to go snip-snip!”   (i.e. vasectomy)

“By the time I get back from work, we cook supper,clean the dishes and put the kids down…that leaves me with thirty minutes of free time, to do what I want, before I go to bed exhausted. ”

“You’re really asking for a lot, Friar.   You might have to compromise, or you’ll never find the woman you’re looking for.”

“We have sex once a month.  Whether we need it or not.”

“We’re so busy lately with all the organized sports.  I can ‘t remember the last time we stayed home and just had a quiet evening doing nothing.”

“It’s a real treat to be able to eat hamburgers and hot-dogs like this.   I never get to do this at home”.

“We all sleep together in the same bed:  the two of us, the two kids, and the cat.    The other day, little Tiffany woke up lying between us, soaking wet.   We weren’t sure if she had just sweated a lot, or if she had peed herself.”

“Dating someone with a kid isn’t’ that bad, Friar.   Every second weekend they’ll be at their Dad’s, so you can lots of alone-time with your girlfriend.”

“The child support and flights to visit cost us  the equivalent of a $40K full-time salary.”

“You’ve been alone long enough, Friar, that you’ve become set in your ways.   I don’t think you’re able, at this point in your life, to have a long-term relationship”.

“If you don’t get married when you’re young, you’ll MISS THE BOAT!”

(From my lawyer):  “Word of advice, if you have a girlfriend move in with you, make sure she pays you something every month.  Even if it’s ten dollars.    And make sure it’s a cheque, or something that can be traceable to the bank.”

“Friar,  you won’t find any women your age who don’t have kids.  Look at me:  I have two kids but I think I’m a good catch.   I met my 2nd husband here, and he’s had his first child with me.   But my two daughters don’t like this small town, so we’re all moving back to the Big City.   Except my husband who stays here alone to work during the week.  He comes to visit us on weekends.. But I think I’m a GOOD CATCH! “

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23 Comments on “Real-Life Quotes Explaining Why I’m Not Exactly Eager to Jump On The Marriage Bandwagon Right Now”

  1. Kelvin Kao Says:

    Re: baggage

    All that is saying you need to be looking for someone waaayyy younger!

  2. Friar Says:


    Yeah…but then the younger women (i.e. under 30) will think I’m waaaaay too OLD. 🙂

  3. Sheila Says:

    Hmm… constantly having to compromise, check in, and/or explain yourself, or… Freedom. Yeah, that’s a tough one.

  4. Friar Says:


    And it’s not like when you’re in your 20’s. When, if you’re lucky, you MIGHT have time to be a couple for a few years, before starting to plan your entire life together.

    At my age (mid 40’s), seems there’s no breathing room. If you date, you’re immediately plunged into instant-Dad territory. (Or even instant-Grandad!)

    Either that, or your girlfriend’s biological clock is quickly running out. Leaving you only a year to date, get to know her, and decide if you want to be with this person for the rest of your life and start making babies.

    I dunno . It’s too rushed for me.

    Freedom sounds pretty good right now..actually! 🙂

  5. Sheila Says:


    Oh, I know – I’m almost to the mid 40’s myself. I’ve done the married with step-kids bit. It was an experience I’ll never regret. But the joy that hit me once the kids were grown, the marraige dissolved, and I was on my own again? Well, imagine forgetting who you are for a bit, and getting it all back again. Awesome!

    Here’s the way I see it. If you meet a lady you really like and want to get to know, don’t be stupid – go for it. But take the marraige option off the table. It takes away the pressure so you can actually enjoy yourself and getting to know somebody. If that doesn’t work for her, then she’s marching by a schedule that has nothing to do with you, and you’ll know to make a run for it. 🙂

  6. CaptainPush Says:

    Regarding kids sired while married. Here’s one for you:

    “This is the Sheriff’s department. We have your son/daughter in custody and need you to come down here.”


  7. Friar Says:

    That’s good advice.

    Not saying I’ll never get serious with anyone who has kids. But it’s been a while since I’ve met anyone who I REALLY like.

    As for those on their own schedule…yes. I agree! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!!!! 🙂

    @Captain Push
    Good Lord!

    Yes, that would be another memorable quote to scare off people like me! 🙂

  8. Eyeteaguy Says:

    Yes Friar, those are all the negative aspects.

    On the upside, if you get a girlfriend, you won’t have to pay for sex anymore.


  9. Friar Says:


    Shhhh…my Mom is listening!

  10. Blogger Dad Says:

    Just because YOU’RE an old fart doesn’t mean your girlfriend needs to be old. Lot’s of cute 20-something women have daddy issues they need to work through/ are attracted to maturity/ or are looking to cash in on an old man’s life insurance policy.

    The world is your oyster man – freedom!

    Oh crap, I think I hear my wife coming.

  11. Friar Says:

    @Blogger Dad

    Hmmm…somethnig to think about.

    Problem is…I don’t have that much maturity. Nor do I have much cash!

  12. Blogger Dad Says:

    Well, fortunately, there’s a whole bunch of hot young rich girls who are looking to piss their families off by dating someone their parents will hate.

  13. Blogger Dad Says:

    … or so I hear.

  14. Friar Says:

    @Blogger Dad

    Then I’d have to move to another city.

    Because in THIS small town, I’d be the one who would be considered “rich”.

    And that’s just SAD.

  15. CaptainPush Says:

    @ eye

    You ALWAYS pay for sex. One way or another you’ll PAY and PAY and PAY. Just ask my ex-wife.

  16. Friar Says:

    @Captain Push

    I was almost gonna answer Eyeguy EXACTLY that:

    You ALWAYS pay.

  17. Kat Says:

    “This is the Sheriff’s department. We have your son/daughter in custody and need you to come down here.”

    I know people who have gotten that call about Mom and/or Dad. >.>

    And yes, you ALWAYS pay.

  18. Friar Says:


    Good point. There’s always a risk that your parnter has PARENTS that are dysfunctional, that you’ll also have to deal with.

  19. Kat Says:


    And on that note let’s not forget the Evil Mother-In-Law stories. My sister’s got a few of those.

  20. Eyeteaguy Says:

    I don’t pay for sex……..because I don’t get any anymore.

    But that is a whole other comments section.


  21. Friar Says:


    Yep…I’ve had a few relationships…where the potential Mother-in-Law was an issue.

    In fact, in some cases, that contributed significantly to me breaking up.


    You don’t pay for sex because you never get it?

    Me too….

  22. Friar,

    I read somewhere guys should date/marry girls 16 years younger, however, it you look around that doesn’t apply to men who are REALLY old. Their hearing goes and they *think* you said “marry a girl 60 years younger”

    That is unless you’d prefer a “cougar”. (i.e. a woman who prefers to date guys much younger).

  23. Friar Says:


    Depends on how good looking the cougar is…and how much money she has. 🙂

    Actually, some of those older women can be HAWT!

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