Working for Electrons

People ask me what I do for a living.   

I write documents and fill out forms.    Basically,  I push paper.

But I really don’t even do that.  I sit at a computer and tap on a keyboard.  

This affects the flow of  electrons to my monitor, which changes the appearance of black and white symbols being projected on my screen.    

I do this again and again, until the symbols seem just about right.   

 Than I press “Save”,  and a spinning plastic disc inside my machine is slightly magnetized.

Or I might press “Send” and someone else’s  spinning plastic disc  gets magnetized on another computer.


This is what I do,  37.5 hours a week. 

It’s all very abstract,  when you think about it.  

After all, I don’t produce anything of any intrinsic value.   Nothing that I can hold in my hand, or barter with, or eat.  

I mean..a farmer can show bushels of produce they’ve grown.   A carpenter can look at the house they’ve built.  A steel worker can point to metal ingots, and say “I helped make  that”.

But what do I have to show at the end of my workday?

Nothing…except a spinning plastic disc inside my compute, that’s magnetized in a slightly different way than the day before.


But it’s not all bad. 

Because every two weeks,  the Big Computer at work sends a stream of electrons to the Big Computer at the bank.   And then the banks’ spinning plastic disc is magnetized.

And this magnetic fields tells  everyone that I can live in my house for another month,  and enjoy satellite TV,  electricity, central heating and  running water.

And I can change  this magnetic field with another magnetized plastic square,  in order to buy food,  gas for my car,  or even go on an airplane to a  great vacation somewhere.


So that’s basically what I do.

I divert the flow of  electrons and magnetize spinning plastic discs.

And I get paid in electrons, which magnetizes other spinning plastic discs.

And in exchange, I have a pretty comfortable lifestyle.

Funny how it works that way.


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6 Comments on “Working for Electrons”

  1. Marc Says:

    Hey, what about all those POSITIVE people in life, like the protons? I mean, it’s not like everyone’s a downer like the majority of the Neutron people.

  2. Kyddryn Says:

    That’s a nifty way to look at it, Friar…

    Shade and Sweetwater,
    K (who is having something of a rotten night and has little of worth to say, sorry)

  3. Nancy Says:

    THANK YOU for finally explaining my job! My kids, particularly my 6 year old, are going to understand it so much better now!
    Nancy Soule Marks CAP
    Finance & Administration Coordinator

    [uh oh, I just confused things again by including my title…]

  4. Friar Says:

    They haven’t developped the technology yet, to magnetize hard-drives with protons.

    @Kyydryn makes me feel like I’m getting something for nothing…sort of.

    I often write at the 6-year-old level, so it’s natural that your kid would understand.

  5. James Addiction Says:

    Seems like you could shorten the path of your electrons by sending them from your computer straight over to the bank’s spinning plastic discs. That could save roughly 37 hours of your life per week.

  6. Friar Says:

    I think if I tried something like that, the keepers of the electrons would not be happy!

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