Lowered Expectations of Middle Age

When I was 20
I’m going to live in a mansion at the foot of a ritzy ski resort.
Hopefully, I’ll have that starter-home paid off before I’m too old to know the difference.

When I was 20
The woman I marry will be intelligent, gorgeous, love the outdoors and have a great sense of humor
It would be nice to just get a date with someone my age who wasn’t bat-shit insane.

When I was 20
I’ll have several expensive sports cars at my disposal.
I’m thankful that my 10-year old Honda starts when I turn the key.

When I was 20
I’ll work for a company that values my training and my university education.
If I got treated with same respect as our Admin Assistant, that would be AWESOME.

When I was 20
Whatever my career will be, I will LOVE it, to that point that it won’t even feel like “work” when I come into the office.
Just so long as my job doesn’t give me anxiety-chest pains, I can take it.

When I was 20
I”m never going to let myself go.   I’m always going to keep in shape.
Just so long as I can still fit into size XL.

When I was 20
I’m going to retire in my early 50’s yet still maintain a comfortable, affluent lifestyel
Freedom 85.   With one can of cat food a day, whether I need it or not.

When I was 20
I’m going to do even better than my parents did.
I’m going to try to EQUAL what my parents did.  (By the way, Mom, can you lend me money to fix my roof?)

When I was 20
Eventually,  my wife and I will have 2.3 kids, maybe when I’m in my 30’s
Whoever I end up marrying, I just pray her kids are grown up with no criminal records, so I dont’ have pay for custody battles, college tuition or bail.

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8 Comments on “Lowered Expectations of Middle Age”

  1. Bat-shit insane!! LOL LOL ROFL!

  2. I have a hard time even remembering what I wanted when I was 20… other than not getting sent to Nam.

  3. Friar Says:

    @Army Wife
    …it’s true! Most of the sane ones have long since pair-bonded with someone else. Doesn’t leave too much to choose from.

    @Old Timer
    Being Canadian, I was fortunate enough to never have had to worry about that.

    But I would have been too young, anyway. Maybe that’s why I still remember my 20’s. But give it another decade…

  4. CaptainPush Says:

    Not to make you feel bad Friar but tomorrow is my last day at work. The crew is throwing a party for me and HQ called to let me know they are cutting checks for $44K in severance pay. That’s what is known as “walkabout” money in addition to my fat retirement. Just to celebrate, I called my son and gave him my Harley. It is funny how your view changes with age.

    So when you finally come down for a visit, drinks are on me pal. We miss you.

  5. At 20, I was already on academic suspension at the University of Houston and was just looking for a job with some kind of future that would get me out of poverty and have some kind of future. I ended up visiting military recruiting office, Air Force and Navy, not Army or Marines — there was a war going on and I didn’t want to end up in the jungle or rice paddies. I was really interested in the Air Force, but the Navy recruiter had a pamphlet on something called “nukleer power.” That was 38 years ago.

    No big dreams for me back then…, just for a decent job with good security.

    At 22, I was on a submarine somewhere in the North Atlantic, with a wife and kid back home in Connecticut.

    A long, long way away from Nam.

  6. aliastaken Says:

    soooooo truuuuuuue

  7. Friar Says:


    Oh…Geez. There we go AGAIN.

    Yet another retired guy gloating about how great his life now is…to everyone else who’s still stuck working for the next 25 years.

    But seriously, I know you put in your time, it wasn’t handed to you on a silver platter. You EARNED it, buddy…I’m happy for you! 🙂

    Wow…at 22, I as in University, barely knowing what the Hell I was doing in life.

    Seems you made the right decision. Nukleer power has served you well.

    I like to think so (despite what the Motivational Self-Improvement Gurus might say about this post!)

  8. Pauline Says:

    When I was 20
    “The woman I marry will be intelligent, gorgeous, love the outdoors and have a great sense of humor
    It would be nice to just get a date with someone my age who wasn’t bat-shit insane.”

    LOL! I have some girlfriends who are also looking for someone who isn’t “bat-shit insane”. It’s hard to find available (and straight!) men who fit the bill too!

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