A Fake Friar Post: Things You Are Unlikely To Hear Me Say, Anytime Soon

 “Oh, 8 ounces of steak is too much for me!   Just give me half, and that’ll be fine”

“I really enjoyed that yoga class.”

“That quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson is SOOOOO true!    Thanks for sharing!  It made my day! “

“Sorry, I can’t go fishing with you today.  I have to catch up on my housework.  I’ve been putting it off too long.”

“Caillou is a great cartoon!   I love Caillou!”

“Has anyone seen my poetry book? “

“I’ve decided to get rid of my car, to reduce my carbon footprint.”

“Oooh, look!  A coupon for 50 cents off lima beans!”

“Please, by all means, let your child continue to scream at the top of their lungs.   Scolding them in public will only harm their self-esteem.”

“A time to lean, is a time to CLEAN.”

“If you visit, I’d rather you NOT bring your dog over.   He’ll just mess up my house. “

“Eat, Pray, Love” was the best movie I’ve ever seen.

“I don’t watch TV…it’s too much of a waste of time”.

“Here are tens tips on how to avoid procrastination.”

“Slow down!  You can get there just as fast by sticking to the speed limit. “

“I love my job!”

“Huh….you act like a typical Capricorn! “

“Who wants the last slice of pizza?”

“It took me three hours to cook that new recipe, but it was worth it!”

“I hate living out in the country.   Give me the bustling, busy life of the Big City.”

“We should say “Seasons’ Greetings” instead of “Merry Christmas”, so as to not potentially offend anyone from another culture.”

“Excuse yourself !!!”   (after hearing a fart).

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One Comment on “A Fake Friar Post: Things You Are Unlikely To Hear Me Say, Anytime Soon”

  1. svc Says:

    Love it. Lol


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