Happy Post-Thanksgiving: Eleven Things I am Ungrateful For

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1.  Squirrels

Because they’re assholes.

Anyone who follows my blog will know why.

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2.  Frosted Mini Wheats

Coat them with sugar all you want, they still taste like sawdust.

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3.  Lucky Charms (just the cereal part)

Because REALLY…without marshmallows, what’s the freaking POINT?

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4. Caillou

Teaching kids everywhere to be whiny little shits, since 1995.

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5.  The Kardashians

For the life of me, I cannot think of  one thing these women actually DO.   Except maybe metabolize food into CO2 and water vapor and waste heat.

Okay.  I’ll give them THAT…at least.

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6.  French Kids’ TV Shows with Puppets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KwiHQsb6Ja0

…and you thought ELMO was obnoxious!

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7.  Estrogen-Saturated Yogurt Commercials

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNqGMKltUYk

Nothing like setting back the feminist movement by 40 years…

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8.   Chips Ahoy Cookie Bags

Ever since they changed their design…just TRY and open one without ripping it.

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9.   Faster-than-Light Neutrinos Research 

Okay,  you guys.    Stop it.

Just STOP it.

You’re going to ruin physics for EVERYONE.

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10.  Cirque de Soleil

Make it go away.

PLEASE.

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11.  Inspirational Posters telling me to  be grateful.

Because actually, they have the OPPOSITE effect.

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12 Comments on “Happy Post-Thanksgiving: Eleven Things I am Ungrateful For”


  1. I love MiniWheats but I understand why you don’t. Everything else I agree with. BTW who are the Kardashians?

  2. Friar Says:

    @Army Wife

    I tolerate them. If they’re put in front of me, I’ll eat them. But I won’t go out of my way to buy them.

  3. Mike Says:

    Viagra, etc. advertising;

    Stupid advertising in general.

  4. Friar Says:

    @Mike

    Any advertising that has to do with genitalia is especially annoying.

  5. Dot Says:

    As for #9, it’s too late — physics was already ruined by black holes, the paradox of particles than can be either measured or observed but not both, and Schrodinger’s cat. Now it’s just getting interesting again. 😀

  6. carmen zayas Says:

    wow! I stopped liking science when they got rid of the planet Pluto…that was so mean … not to be anal-retentive but Lucky Charms HAVE marshmellows – so why are you eating the cereal part without the marshmellows?

  7. Momlady Says:

    I totally agree with you. Add in the evil empire (Walmart).

  8. topiclessbar Says:

    Where did you find that French puppet show??? It’s amazing!

  9. Friar Says:

    @topiclessBar

    Just search “Passe Partout” on YouTube. And prepare yourself to be VERY annoyed.

    (This was a very popular kids TV show in QUebec).

  10. Friar Says:

    @MomLady

    I’m starting to like Walmart now, because the “People of Walmart” web site provides such great entertainment!

  11. Friar Says:

    @Dot

    But our existing physics was okay with all those things. It’s the faster-than-light neutrinos that are causing all the kerfuffle.

  12. Friar Says:

    @Carmen
    I think what they did to Pluto was pretty shitty.

    You don’t give something like “Planetary Status”, and then suddenly take it back. For SHAME…astronomers…for SHAME!


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