Friar’s Six Most Annoying Christmas Songs That Will Make You Cringe

Up on the Housetop (The Jackson Five)

Ugh.  Nothing like listening to a hyper pre-pubescent Michael Jackson scream the same lyrics over and over.

Back when his voice was even higher than what we’d make fun of when he was an adult.

Cringe-worthy moment:  The “pitter Patter” dialogue that starts as 2:00.

(Good Lord).

I dare you to listen to this from beginning to end, without running from the room screaming.

Go on.   I DARE you.


Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

Most depressing.   Christmas song.   EVER.

Nobody ever sings this in a happy way.    Nobody.

Especially Judy Garland.

Cringe-worthy moment:   Look at the poor kid at 1:30.

Gee….are we having FUN yet?

The only redeeming part of this scene is the first part.    I had to look at this several times before I realized that Judy is cranking a box making these MONKEYS dance around.

Everything is better with monkeys.


Earl the Christmas Squirrel

I didn’t think it was possible to find a Christmas rodent song more obnoxious than Alvin and the Chipmunks.

But here we are.

Cringe-worthy moment:  “He goes nuts over coconuts….”.

Nice rhyming.

But sorry.  It doesn’t count  when the SAME WORD is repeated.


The Little Drummer Boy

I never liked this song.

And the TV special didn’t help.    What an obnoxious kid.

He just annoyed the hell out of me.

Still does, in fact.

Cringe-worthy moment:  Where I start to lose it is when he starts to play and the “Room Poom Pooms” in the background reach a crescendo.

And “The ox and lamb kept time”




A Song for a Winter’s Night (Sarah McLachlan)

Way to ruin Gordon Lightfoot’s 1967 original, Sarah.

You’ve transformed what was a sentimental, heartfelt ballad into a tortured-intellectual estrogen-fest.

Cringe-w0rthy moment:  The “Dood n doos” in the background.

That alone ruins the whole song.

When I hear this, I dont’ know whether to slit my wrists, or go into a coma.


Christmas Shoes

This is supposed to be a tear-jerker song.   It’s about a little boy who wants to buy Mommy some shoes he cannot afford.

So that she looks good for Jesus.

Because, you see…there’s “not much time”, because she’s on the deathbed.

Oh…give me a BREAK.

Yeah, it’s supposed to be sad.

Except it’s so over-done, so over the top, and the video is so over-acted, that it’s NOT.

In has the opposite effect.

It just makes me want to make FUN of it.

Cringe-worthy moment:   When all the little children start joining in the singing at 3:40.

It’s a good thing I was in the Burger King drive through when I heard this in my car.

Because if I had been on the road, I’d probably have driven into on-coming traffic to end my misery.

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7 Comments on “Friar’s Six Most Annoying Christmas Songs That Will Make You Cringe”

  1. You forgot the Chipmunks.

  2. Anna Cull Says:

    Okay, so I hit the ‘like’ button but ‘like’ is not what I wanted to hit when I heard these songs. I confess that I couldn’t listen to a single one all the way through. Not one! Superb effort.

  3. Dot Says:

    Some of my favorites. I like Up On The Housetop and did listen to it all the way through. Judy Garland I don’t like, but the song is a good one for sad Christmases. The Chipmunks will always be my favorites though.

  4. Friar Says:

    @Army Wife
    Yes…the Chipmunks almost made the list. But for some reason, they don’t annoy me nearly as much as the Christmas squirrel song.

    Probably because in real life, I have no quarrels with chipmunks.

    It was VERY difficult listening to these songs as I wrote this blog, I tell you!

    @Dot why do we want to hear SAD Christmas songs in the first place? (The season is stressful enough as it is..).

  5. I loathe that Christmas Shoes song…

  6. Friar Says:

    You and me both! (And millions of others, I suspect!)

  7. I always turn the station when I hear them play it. UGH!

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