Friar’s Six Most Annoying Christmas Songs That Will Make You Cringe
Up on the Housetop (The Jackson Five)
Ugh. Nothing like listening to a hyper pre-pubescent Michael Jackson scream the same lyrics over and over.
Back when his voice was even higher than what we’d make fun of when he was an adult.
Cringe-worthy moment: The “pitter Patter” dialogue that starts as 2:00.
I dare you to listen to this from beginning to end, without running from the room screaming.
Go on. I DARE you.
Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas
Most depressing. Christmas song. EVER.
Nobody ever sings this in a happy way. Nobody.
Especially Judy Garland.
Cringe-worthy moment: Look at the poor kid at 1:30.
Gee….are we having FUN yet?
The only redeeming part of this scene is the first part. I had to look at this several times before I realized that Judy is cranking a box making these MONKEYS dance around.
Everything is better with monkeys.
Earl the Christmas Squirrel
I didn’t think it was possible to find a Christmas rodent song more obnoxious than Alvin and the Chipmunks.
But here we are.
Cringe-worthy moment: “He goes nuts over coconuts….”.
But sorry. It doesn’t count when the SAME WORD is repeated.
The Little Drummer Boy
I never liked this song.
And the TV special didn’t help. What an obnoxious kid.
He just annoyed the hell out of me.
Still does, in fact.
Cringe-worthy moment: Where I start to lose it is when he starts to play and the “Room Poom Pooms” in the background reach a crescendo.
And “The ox and lamb kept time”
….STUPIDEST LYRICS ever.
A Song for a Winter’s Night (Sarah McLachlan)
Way to ruin Gordon Lightfoot’s 1967 original, Sarah.
You’ve transformed what was a sentimental, heartfelt ballad into a tortured-intellectual estrogen-fest.
Cringe-w0rthy moment: The “Dood n doos” in the background.
That alone ruins the whole song.
When I hear this, I dont’ know whether to slit my wrists, or go into a coma.
This is supposed to be a tear-jerker song. It’s about a little boy who wants to buy Mommy some shoes he cannot afford.
So that she looks good for Jesus.
Because, you see…there’s “not much time”, because she’s on the deathbed.
Oh…give me a BREAK.
Yeah, it’s supposed to be sad.
Except it’s so over-done, so over the top, and the video is so over-acted, that it’s NOT.
In fact..it has the opposite effect.
It just makes me want to make FUN of it.
Cringe-worthy moment: When all the little children start joining in the singing at 3:40.
It’s a good thing I was in the Burger King drive through when I heard this in my car.
Because if I had been on the road, I’d probably have driven into on-coming traffic to end my misery.