Posted tagged ‘blogging tips’

Friar’s Tips on How to Improve your Blogging

March 9, 2009

How to be more creative:
– Use your imagination.
– Try new things.
– Do something different.

If you feel tired, try this simple trick:  take a short break.    Once you feel rested, then start working on your project again.   You’ll feel refreshed, and be able to work more efficiently.

If you have urgent deadlines, remember:  do the important things first.  (I know that’s a difficult concept to grasp, but trust me..it works!)

If you find yourself working at too fast a pace, slow down.  It’s important to take time to smell the roses.   You need to balance your life.

Remember, life is like the desert.  It may appear barren and dead on the surface, but hidden within all its nooks and crannies, lie all kinds of wonders for you to discover.

How to fight writer’s block
– Use your imagination.
– Avoid procrastination
– Do something different.
– Try new things.

If you find yourself feeling tired and grumpy, maybe you need to eat.   Remember, it’s important to fuel your body, as well as your mind.   Try to eat non-poisonous food, or snacks that won’t make you sick.  You’ll find it’s much easier that way.

If you find yourself working at too slow a pace, speed up.    It’s important to challenge yourself and meet the goals you’ve set.

Remember, it’s important to breathe to sustain life.   Inhale, to bring oxygen into your lungs.   Exhale, to expel carbon dioxide.  As long as you keep breathing, you’ll keep blogging.

How to Achieve your Goals
– List them
– Assign a due date for each one.
– Complete them.
– And don’t forget to be creative.

Remember, life is like the ocean.  It may appear calm on the surface, but hidden just beneath the surface, lie all kinds of wonders for you to discover.

Tips on Better Blogging
– Be creative
– Try writing about different things
– Use your imagination
–  Set your goals, and achieve them.

If you find yourself feeling crampy and bloated, maybe you need to go potty.   It’s always important to step away from the computer, every once in a while, to address our bodily functions.   An important tip:   don’t forget to wipe your arse, preferably with toilet paper.

Generic Tips on how to Improve your Life
– Be more creative.
– Set your goals.
– Maximize your Effectiveness
– Think for yourself.
– …and STOP trying to find all the answers by reading these God-damned blogs!

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Limited Time Offer: Learn SEO with this Certified On-Line Blog Course

January 19, 2009

THE UNIVERSITY OF BLOGO-LAND

Proudly presents the

U.B.L. Certified Master’s Diploma

in Über-Blogging.

Taught by the Illustrious Dr. Friar.  (Ph.D, M.Sc, P.B.S, F.U.Bar, Ei-Ei-Oh)

Course Curriculum

Session 1

  • Self-Awareness 101:  Learn why your opinion is so God-damned important that the Blogosphere cannot possibly survive without you.
  • The Fundamentals of Food Martyrdom:   Laser-focusing your productivity by neglecting to to eat and sleep.
  • Smugness 101:   Why it’s not us, it’s the REST of the non-blogging world that doesn’t “get it”.
  • Nutrition Awareness:   Learn about the Four Basic Blogger Food Groups:  sugar, salt, caffeine, and fat.
  • Open Forum:  Should you really be reading 500 blogs a day?  (Damn right, you should!) We tell you why.


Sesssion 2

  • The joys of self-actualization:  Giving up that miserable 9-to-5 cubicle job, in exchange for a stress-free 85-hour workweek being your own boss.
  • Open Forum:    SEO.  How often should we mention it?  Every post?   Or every 2nd post?
  • Network Approach to Brown-Nosing: How to maximize your traffic by sucking up to the other Über-Bloggers
  • Overcoming Anxiety: That big yellow thing up in the sky.  It’s called THE SUN.  (Try to get out more.)
  • E-book Case Study:   How I earned $1200 in one night….then nothing for the next 28 months.

Session 3

  • Support Group:   Dealing with the guilt of missing  a post. (Paramedics available upon request.)
  • Addiction Counseling:   Twitter:  Is it the new Crack Cocaine?
  • Achieving Financial Independence:  Convincing your spouse to work full-time to support you, while you pull in a whopping four-figure salary.
  • Couples Counselling:  Do I want a relationship with my blog?   Should I break up?   Or should we just be good friends?
  • Advanced Navel-gazing:   Who are we?  Why do we blog?   How does this fit in with the Grand Unified Field Theory?
  • Video Demonstration:   Yoga techniques designed to get your head out of your arse (Prerequisite:  Advanced Navel Gazing).

Session 4

  • Vacation Tips:   Finding discount tickets to Lah-Lah Land, and staying there as long as necessary.
  • Open Forum Discussion:   Benfits/downfalls of wearing Depends.  (When is it okay to leave your computer to go to the bathroom?)
  • Filling the Void:   How to blog about blogging without actually writing anything of any substance.
  • Learning to prioritize.    Blogging.   Blogging.  Blogging.  And more blogging.
  • Intro to Divorce Law:  How to keep custody of your lap-top after your spouse leaves you for blogging too much.

*************************************

Note:  This course is available for a LIMITED TIME only.

The price today is $225.17.

But by NEXT FULL MOON, it will double triple quadrulple  to $900.68

So…

ACT NOW!

(ARRRRGH!!)

KIDS!!!   For the LOVE OF GOD…!

ACT NOW!

SIGN UP for Dr. Friar’s Course!

If you don’t, you’ll REGRET it for the REST of your God-Forsaken Miserable EXCUSE for A LIFE!

If you DON’T BELIEVE US, check out these ASTOUNDING Testimonials from ACTUAL written text!

“It was…er….interesting.”
Professor F. Meigh.   University of Uptown on the Chudleigh.

“Read this…and it will make you cry”
–   Oprah Mom

“That Dr. Friar.   That guy…what a character!”
– Ölaf ThuynderFrûcken

“After taking this course, I feel that it was money spent”
– Dick Weed

“…much more pleasant than sitting in a dentists’ chair, if they don’t use Novocain”.
– Fallopia M. Ornice.