Posted tagged ‘deep fried Mars Bar’

Some Questions Best Left Unanswered

April 15, 2009

cant-hear

What unspeakable things did Jabba the Hutt make Princess Leia do, when she was kept on a chain, as his slave?

Which Yoko Ono songs weren’t considered quite good enough to get on the Double Fantasy Album?

What’s in hot dogs?

What things did George Bush really screw up, so baldy, that we’ll never hear about?

What’s your parents’ sex life like?  (Ewwww…!)

…what about your grandparents?    (Double Ewwww…!)

What else can be deep-fried, besides cheeseburgers and Mars Bars?

How many voters can’t even locate their own state on a map?

What age was Céline Dion, when her manager, René Angeli, started to have the hots for her?

Just how painful is hemorrhoid surgery?

Just how much more of an S.O.B. can Eric Cartman become?

How far would Betty be willing to go, in order to get Archie to like her more than Veronica?

Forget the fluorescent blue water…what do soiled napkins really look like?

What will upset today’s kids, 25 years from now, when their kids want to shock them?

What happens if you drink an entire quart of cream?

How did Wilma ever manage to deliver Pebbles? (My God…have you seen the SIZE of that kids’ head?)

Exactly what did the Perfessor from Gilligan’s Island get his PhD in?

What sick sonnovabitch came up with the recipe for raisins and glazed lima beans?

What was that crunchy, unidentified tidbit at the $7.99 Chinese buffet?

If Oprah can’t even pump her own gas, what else doesn’t she know?

What TV shows did Fox TV reject which never saw air-time?  (As opposed to the high-quality programming they broadcast right now.)

What kind of idiot would pay $50 for bottled water?

How do all the Smurfs deal with the fact that there’s only one Smurfette?

How did the pioneers cope 200 years ago, in log cabins with no running water or toilet paper?    Especially when they got the stomach flu?

How close have we ever come to another 9-11 without realizing it?

What the hell did the dog just eat, that he’s trying to hide from us?

Does Bob Dylan deliberately sing that way just to mess with us, or is he really, honestly trying?

How much time do we waste each day on Twitter?

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