Posted tagged ‘facebook’

Friar’s Least-Inspiring Facebook Posts

April 13, 2013

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Apathya

Live withoutaa

Before you Speaka

Seal Whalea

Sunset Inspirea

Squirrel Conea

True frienda

Friar Quotea

Facebook Fonta

Share this heartsa

Eat Meat

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Burpa

Perfect

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Profounda

Rummy quoteaaa

Bacon

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More beliefs that are contrary to what you might think…

September 22, 2011

Driving the actual speed limit will not result in the end of Civilization and Life As We Know It.

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Those plastic diplomas they give you for taking those one-day courses at work are  NOT real degrees.

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Your environmentally-friendly electric car is only as “green” as the method used to generate the electricity in the first place.

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Even though it’s only WalMart, you might want to still consider disciplining  your screaming Demon-Spawn in public.

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Sorry.  Any pizza with broccoli on it is NOT a real pizza.

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Ending world hunger or saving the dolphins from drowning  takes a bit more involvement than just clicking your moral support on Facebook.

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Contrary to what you may think…

September 15, 2011

It’s OKAY to break a bill.  You don’t always have to pay with exact change.

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Coming up with a fancy new corporate acronym will not necessarily improve your company’s finances.

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Not everyone is as thrilled as you are, when your newborn infant comes to the movies with you.

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Cereals that are 75% marshmallow do not make up “part of a good breakfast”.

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Putting a “Baby on Board” sticker on your car does not make you look like a concerned parent.

Actually, it makes you look like an idiot.

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Driving your Daddy’s $50,000 SUV to the mall while cranking hip-hop tunes does not mean you’re from the ‘hood.  Nor does it give you “street cred”.

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Oprah’s farts don’t always smell like oven-fresh cinnamon buns.

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The planet can live without your Facebook photos about what you ate for lunch.

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Useful Statistical Trends Everyone Should Know

May 6, 2011

Data Compiled by F-Stats (*) Canada.

(*) Friar Stats   aa

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The Cumulated Wisdom That Reading Blogs and Facebook Has Taught Me

August 22, 2010

Stone-Age cultures who never so much as invented the wheel, are, by default, so MUCH wiser and smarter than our Western Civilization.

Calling yourself a “Coach” or “Advisor” makes you just as qualified in counselling people as being an accredited, professionally trained psychologist does.

Self-employed free-lancers who can barely pay the rent are infinitely more successful than the $100K/yr losers working in cubicle farms.

Anyone who can string 250 words together on a blog is a “writer”.

Anyone who can post pictures on Facebook or Flickr is a “photographer”.

Not driving a car makes you morally superior to everyone else who does.

Modern Western medicine is a SHAM,  perpetuated by the major pharmaceutical companies.    Why don’t you just pound a prayer-drum, and drink some herbal tea instead?

Nobody really needs university or college.   When you start working,  that’s when you’ll learn about your job, as you go.

“Minimalism” is where it’s at.     If you enjoy having a large house,  fancy toys, and exotic vacations…Well, then hang your head in SHAME!.  Because you represent everything that’s wrong with the planet!

Just because a New-Age paranormal phenomenon has no scientific basis whatsoever, and has never been proven under rigorous, double-blind laboratory tests, doesn’t mean it isn’t perfectly valid.

Science once said the earth was flat.  But they were wrong.   So Science might be wrong about auras and magical crystals and unicorns, too.

It’s possible to solve major disasters (like high-pressure oil spewing out of the ocean floor) by just getting a group of people together at the same time to bang drums.    OHmmmmmmm.

Petroleum is not a mineral like bauxite or calcium carbonate.   It is Mother-Earth’s Life-Blood!

When you’re on vacation, it’s more important to document each and every event and post it on Facebook, than to actually live the moment.

Growing virtual vegetables on a digital farm is a far more satisfying than maintaining a garden in real-life.

Our individual lives are so GOSH-DARNED important, that even our simple meals are news-worthy events that require broadcasting to the whole world.

Furthermore, every meal description that’s posted on FaceBook shall be “YUMMY”.    To say otherwise, amounts to heresy.

If you’re stressed out and feel miserable,  the best solution is to isolate yourself in front of the computer, and read about how other people deal with it.

For God’s sakes, the LAST thing you want to do is to go outside, and get some fresh air and exercise.

Enhance Your Blog And Facebook Status With These Useful Icons

May 3, 2010

Use them for yourself, or give them to your friends.

Either way, I don’t care.   It’s all good.

Like I said before, it’s just electrons floating around the Internet.