Friar’s Christmas Wishes

Forget world peace.

Here’s what I’d like to see for Christmas 2011.

a

a

All the fruitcake on the planet will be loaded onto one huge rocket, and launched into the sun.

a

a

It’ll be against the law to give clothes as gifts to any kid under 10.

aa

A

The Turkey Stuffing Fairy will see to it that turkey stuffing everywhere will be raisin-free.

x

x

Charlie Brown will finally stop taking crap from Lucy.

a

a

The Abominable Snow-Monster will get to keep all this teeth, this time.

a

a

Children’s Aid will get involved, and see to it that those poor Frosty kids have decent winter clothes, for a change.

Christmas Cartoon Haiku

(*Thanks to Barbara, who got me thinking in Haikus today)

a
a

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Little Drummer Boy
God, what a lame-ass cartoon.
Pa Rum Pa Pum DUMB.

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Poor Bumble Snow-man
Herbie ripped out all your teeth
Now how will you eat?

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Charlie Brown, your friends:
Frieda, Shermy, Violet.
What happened to them?

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Kris Kringle’s girl friend.
I know she’s just a puppet
But isn’t she hot?

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Dumb-ass Frosty kids
It’s freezing outside right now.
Is this how you dress?

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You repented, good.
But how to return the gifts?
They’re all mixed up now

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The best poo ever.
I love you Mr. Hanky
(Typical South Park)